


Through the Windows

by KendraPendragon



Series: A Romantic Comedy - Brienne x Jaime [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotions, F/M, Falling In Love, Humor, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Tension, Some crying, Trust Issues, a lot of conversations, can be read as reincarnation fic if you want to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-10-25 18:11:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 67,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17730167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KendraPendragon/pseuds/KendraPendragon
Summary: On her return to King's Landing after a three month selling tour through Dorne with Oberyn Martell, Brienne finds that her office has become the auditorium to the LLBLS - the "Lannister Lunch Break Live Show", which consists solely of the new CFO of LBS, Inc. doing sit-ups half naked. Turns out almost her entire staff simply stops working when the daily show is on and all that hen clucking is driving her up the wall. So the CEO of Tarth Digital, LLC does the sensable thing: She calls that arrogant Lion. A phone call that will change her life. Jaime Lannister is not what she had expected.





	1. A half naked lion across the street

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Multi-chapter fic for Braime (*panicking scream*). I really enjoyed writing this, so I hope you like it. Since this is a modern!AU, I took some liberty in chracterization. But I think you will still find the essence of them inside their modern versions.  
> Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Or just a nice comment, or a click on that Kudos heart. Thank you!

Brienne took a deep breath as she stepped out of the elevator. Finally home, she thought happily as she stepped up to her receptionist Arya, who greeted her with a boyish smirk that looked very much like her father's.

“Thank the Gods you’re back! Now the hens will stop their clucking!”

“What’s going on?”

Arya rolled her eyes.

“Jaime Lannister, that’s what’s going on. His office in the second tower, one floor below yours.”

“So they’ve given him Stannis’ office. Not sorry to be rid of that face”, Brienne commented as she flipped through the list of expected guests and meetings for the day.

Of course she knew all about the scandal Stannis had brought upon LBS, Inc., stealing company money and washing it through a dubious company in Essos for years, as it turned out. The Dark Lord Tywin Lannister, how Brienne and her employees called him, had been furious, not always composed enough to hide it in the countless of interviews he had given to control the damage. Every company in King’s Landing was laughing at LBS, Inc. right now, even the small ones like Tarth Digital, LLC.

To get the public back on Lannister’s good side, he obviously had brought out the heavy guns. Jaime Lannister was not only as handsome as the Warrior reborn, but also charmed his way through every interview, turning every question around, giving such clever answers that had every interviewer as well as the audience dazzled. She hated to admit it, but Brienne herself had been dazzled once or twice as she watched a couple of those interviews on her tablet, mostly on planes flying from one corner of Dorne to another, gathering investors with Oberyn Martell by her side, making funny comments on the oldest Lannister son, which had her laugh.

Well, the trip to Dorne was over now, the sunburn on her nose, forehead and shoulders almost gone, leaving behind a surprisingly nice tan that hid most of her freckles.

“Show’s about to start!” came a shout from the end of the hallway. Margaery.

Arya rolled her eyes.

“Here comes the stampede”, she sighed and as if on cue Brienne watched how every single woman and some of the men in her employ filled the hallway and hurried around the corner – to her office.

Brienne looked at Arya questioningly, but she only rolled her eyes and slumped down in her chair, mumbling “stupid hens” under her breath.

Trying to cheer up the young woman with a smile, Brienne grabbed her old leather bag and made the way to her office. Pod was sitting at his desk in front of it, jumping out of his seat when he saw her, his dark eyes wild with panic.

“Ms. Tarth! I-I thought you said you wanted to come back tomorrow.”

He wiped his hands on his blue shirt and shifted awkwardly to her closed office door.

“And that’s the official reply if someone asks. I’m just here to get a head start.”

Squeals from inside her office.

Pod’s eyes grew even bigger. He began sweating. When Brienne took a step in the direction of the door, he squealed and jumped. All that was missing was that he was waving his arms.

“Pod?”

He opened his mouth, snapped it shut, opened it again.

He looked like a fish out of water.

Several more squeals.

Pod squeezed his eyes shut, then he let out a long breath.

“I told them to stay away, I swear. I even locked the door. They had another key made, I believe. I’m so sorry.”

He stepped aside, looking at his feet, shrinking into himself.

She wanted to inquire what the hell was going on when another mix of squeals and laughter came from her office.

 

Brienne decided to find out herself.

 

She flung the door open, going for a dramatic boss-entrance – and failing. None of the people crowded in her office were facing the door. The swarm was facing the windows.

“Ooooh, he is going for a new record today.”

“You can do it, handsome. Mmmh, yes, one more. Gods, look at these muscles.”

“It’s my turn, Lollys!”

“And that pearl of sweat running down the middle…”

“Wouldn’t mind licking that off his washboard.”

Excited giggles.

Frowning, Brienne walked to the window herself, following the many gazes to the building across the street, close enough to see the many employees…

 

Brienne’s jaw dropped.

 

There he was.

 

The Lion of Casterly Rock. Bare-chested, on the floor, doing sit-ups in his suit pants…no, she thought and felt her throat go dry as she realized that it was black sweatpants; very, very low sitting sweatpants, revealing a dark happy trail and a mouth-watering V-shape down his hips.

 

_Seven hells_

 

That bastard really was the most beautiful man in Westeros.

 

After one last lingering look, Brienne snapped out of it and cleared her throat. Several times were necessary before she was even noticed.

  
_Stupid hens, indeed._

  
Most of them had the decency to be shocked and ashamed. Some of them squealed and rushed out of the office, some apologized beforehand. The Frivolous Four, aka Margaery Tyrell, her brother Loras, Renly Baratheon and Sansa Stark (a hungry she-wolf beneath her sweet exterior), however made no attempt to leave anytime soon.

When Brienne saw the binoculars and croissants, she had enough.

“Really, guys?”

“It’s my substitute for porn”, came Loras' unapologetic comment.

“He’s your goodbrother, Renly.”

“Yes, he is a veeery good goodbrother.”

Loras snickered and the husbands exchanged knowing glances.

“You can’t possibly be that desperate!”

“Hey”, Margaery protested, handing the binoculars to Sansa, who glanced guiltily at Brienne for a second before she lifted it to her eyes and smiled as she watched the Lion do his workout, “we haven’t been traveling with the handsome prince for three months. Don’t deny us our dose of eye-candy.”

“This is sexual harassment. The last thing we need is the Lannisters trying to sue us in an attempt to distract everyone from their dirty laundry.”

“I would wash his dirty laundry any day”, Sansa sighed dreamily.

Brienne rolled her eyes.

“Don’t think he doesn’t know we’re watching him”, Loras grinned, “he puts this show on every day at the same time. Sometimes he waves, sometimes he smiles at us afterwards.”

The group sighed.

The ‘clunk’ the binoculars made as they bumped against the full-length window was tragically comical.

“Alright, enough! No more eye candy for you. I think you all had an overdose. Out!”

“Brienne, come on”, Renly tried, giving her his puppy eyes. Those had stopped working on her years ago.

“Out!”

“Fine!” Marge huffed and took Sansa’s arm, “have that candy all to yourself, as well! Come on guys, we’ll go to Charlene’s office. The view might not be that good, but we’ll have to make due.”

“Or you could just go back to work”, Brienne suggested.

Three faces looked at her as if she had gone insane. At least Sansa blushed a little. Maybe there was still hope for her.

“And give Pod the key to my office!” Brienne shouted after them as they left her office.

Marge stuck out her tongue and threw the door shut.

 

Brienne sighed and shook her head.

She truly had missed her crazy bunch, she thought with a smile as she let down the blinds window by window. On the fourth and last, her eyes darted down.

 

Green eyes. Such green eyes.

 

She froze, holding the little stick to adjust the blinds in her hand.

 

The Lion was standing, chest heaving. His hands on his narrow hips.

 

_Seven hells, what a beautiful man._

 

As if he could read her thoughts, Jaime Lannister smirked up at her. And then he waved.

 

_Imagine, Brienne_ , her heart whispered, _what it would be like_ _to be wanted by someone as beautiful as this_.

 

A sting in her chest. Memories of teenage humiliation and heartbreak.

 

With a scowl she threw the blinds shut.

 


	2. Grabbing the bull by the balls

The _Lannister Lunch Break Live Show_ continued. Three endless weeks of squeals and hooting and laughter. Brienne was annoyed and frustrated with the entire situation. It had actually reached a point where she had to schedule meetings around the _LLBLS_ to avoid embarrassment. It was ridiculous. But no harsh words whatsoever managed to reign in the horny bunch, not with the Frivolous Four as their leaders.  


After another one of those shouts which sent the hens back to their desks, Brienne slumped down in her chair, assessing the situation.  
 

She couldn’t work like this.  
 

She hated shouting at her team. She didn’t want to lead like this. But what were her options? Gluing the blinds to every window facing Lannister’s office? Taking money out of their paychecks for the work they missed? She had threatened to do so often enough. Everyone knew she didn’t have the heart to do that.

 

Gods, it was frustrating!

 

And she couldn’t even enjoy her view on the King's Landing skyline because of this stupid flasher! Constantly keeping her blinds down was slowly making her feel trapped and depressed.

 

She needed sunlight!

 

She had a right to sunlight!

 

The true problem, she thought angrily, was that Lannister idiot. If she wanted things go back to normal, she had to grab _'the bull by the balls'_ , as Oberyn had said so many times (mostly to watch her cringe, she was sure).

 

Brienne reached for her phone.

 

“Pod. Find out Jaime Lannister’s number. Things have got to stop.”

“Oh thank goodness. Already got it. Please hold, I’ll put you through.”

 

Brienne blinked. Insecurity rose its ugly head, still there, even after she had successfully built an IT-company and had made it to the prestigious _Red Keep Towers_ in King’s Landing, and a panicky voice inside her screamed that she needed to prepare first. A battle plan! A speech! Anything!

“Hello?”

_Well, fuck_

_Deep breath, Brienne!  
_ 

“Jaime Lannister?”

“Yes?”

“Brienne of Tarth, CEO of Tarth Digital.”

“Who?”

She ground her teeth. Of course he’d play the arrogant asshole.

“Tarth Digital.”

“Never heard of it.”

“Huh, weird, since you put on a show for its employees every day at 12:30.”

“Ooohh. So that’s who you are. I was wondering.”

Brienne’s heartbeat stuttered, her memory of the gold-chested lion standing at the window half-naked, waving at her blinding her for a second.

“Yes”, she snarled, trying to remain cool.

“Where have you been?”

“What?”

“I’ve been working here for almost three months and I’ve never seen you before.”

“It’s none of your business where -“

“Well, I’m not seeing you now, of course. Don’t you feel trapped with your blinds shut all day long? Would drive me insane, for sure.”

Brienne’s jaw twitched. “Speaking of your sanity, you might want to have that checked. It appears you have a serious case of exhibitionism you might want to talk over with a therapist.”

He chuckled into the speaker. He actually dared to chuckle!

“No one’s complained before, wench.”

“Excuse me?!”

“You didn’t seem to mind either.”

“I did mind! I _do_ mind!”

She was nearly shouting now. He chuckled again.

“I see. Well, I could ask my sister if she’d like to work out with me in here. Works on the other side of the tower, you know, with the sea view. Would you like that?”  
“Are you implying that have to be a lesbian because I don’t want to look at your half-naked body during work hours?”

Brienne squeezed her eyes shut. She recognized her mistake the moment she’d said it. Of course Jaime Lannister was the sort of man who wouldn’t miss such an opening.

“So you wouldn’t mind seeing my half-naked body outside of work hours?”

“I knew you were going to say that”, she spat into the speaker.

He laughed.

“Listen, Lannister, I’m a serious business woman -“

“I’m sure you are”, he chuckled.

“I don’t have time for this. I wasn’t hired solely to blind the masses, I've got actual work to do.”

No chuckle from the other end of the line this time.

“So do my employees. If you feel the need to expose yourself, maybe you should do so on tv during one of your charming interviews where you talk a lot and say nothing. The Lannister trade. Maybe people will focus on your abs instead of your dubious financial transactions of the past five years then.”

“Careful, wench”, came a warning growl, but Brienne was too far gone to stop.

“And should you decide to ignore my friendly suggestion and continue to distract my employees, I will sue you for sexual harassment. That’s practically the only scandal missing in _LBS_ ' portfolio, isn’t it?”

With that, she slammed down her phone, jumped out of her chair and pulled up the blinds so fast she almost tore them off.

 

When the last blind was up, she looked down.

 

Green met blue.

 

He was still sitting at his desk, glaring up at her. Even from here she could see his jaw flex and for a second he looked like a predator ready to pounce. Her heart started pounding, but she fought her instinct to run and stood her ground, holding her head high, using her height and strong build to her advantage, as a man would do. At least that’s what Oberyn had taught her.

 

‘ _I fit perfectly under your armpit, yet you seem smaller than me. Use your size. It’s a weapon, not a hindrance. People respond to body language. You’re not a beautiful woman, but your figure is strong, powerful, imposing. Use it!’_

 

She did so now. But Lannister didn’t look away. Obviously, it didn’t work so well with glass windows and a street between them. Damn! She wished she could call Oberyn and ask him what to do now. He was the sort of man who knew what to do in an _across-the-street-stand-off_.

  
“Eh, Ms. Tarth?”

 

_The Seven bless Podrick Payne!_

 

With a last glare, Brienne whirled around and stepped away from the window.

“Yes?”

“That was amazing.”

“Thank you, Podrick.”

“Can I tell Arya?”

Mustering a smile, she nodded. Pod dashed off.

 

With a triumphant smile, Brienne went into the bathroom, got into a stall - and threw up.

 


	3. Almost a meet-cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: Although I work in an office (as an accountant), I'm not a hundred percent sure if I got the terminology right. Please remember that English is not my first language. If you should cringe at some of the technological / accounting terms, please point them out to me. I'll be happy to correct them. :)

The _LLBLS_ was officially canceled.

 

Brienne was not surprised when the Frivolous Four stormed into her office after the first week in which Lannister didn’t put on a show for them.

“You did this!” accused Margaery with an angrily pointed finger.

“Yes”, Brienne retorted proudly.

“Why?!”

“What do you mean, why?! Because this is a work place, not a night club.”

Margaery shook her head angrily, took two deep breaths, then raged on.

“Look how miserable he is now!” she pointed at the windows. “Look!”

With four glares burning holes into her face, Brienne was worn down pretty quickly. With an unnerved sigh she rose, tugged on the blue longshirt she was wearing over black leggings (Oberyn had given her a complete make-over. Before Dorne, she would mostly wear jeans and men’s shirts) and walked to the windows.  
  


There he sat, the proud lion.

  
Hunched over his desk, the wooden surface completely covered with papers.

 

“It’s called working, Margaery. You should try it sometimes”, came Brienne’s dry comment.

The brunette huffed and crossed her arms in front her chest.

Renly joined Brienne at the window, Loras following him as usual.

“It’s true, though. Jaime isn’t happy. His father is constantly on his back and his sister at his throat. The only one who doesn’t treat him like shit is his brother. Putting on a show for us cheered him up.”

Brienne rolled her eyes, glancing at the man in the other tower.

“He’s a beautiful, white male heir who is CFO of the biggest company in Westeros, Renly. I’m sure he’s suffering immensely.”

With a snort, Brienne turned away and walked back to her desk.

“Of course he’s an asshole. He’s a Lannister. But that’s not all he is.”

The serious tone in Renly’s voice made Brienne look up from her screen. Damn his pretty, dark puppy-eyes.

“Look, if you want to cheer him up, I’m not stopping you. But do it on your own time. This is my company and I’ve worked hard to get here. We all have. We’re at a turning point. We’ve got new clients in Dorne and Oberyn wants to invest in us. We could go big, guys. All our hard work will finally pay off. I won’t let Lannister destroy that.”

“It’s just a half-hour workout, Brienne”, Margaery protested, but her voice was soft and understanding.

“It’s a distraction. You’re behaving like idiots. I have to switch meetings so you won’t embarrass me in front of our clients with your silly squeals and shouts.”

That struck a chord with everyone and they lowered their eyes, for the first time looking guilty. Brienne couldn’t help but feel disappointed that this hadn’t even occurred to them.

“Guys, this company is my life. I need people who I can rely on, who I can trust and who take their work seriously. Are you with me or not?”

“Of course we are”, burst it out of Sansa, tears stinging in her beautiful eyes. “Guys?”

She looked around. The other three nodded.

“Of course we are, Bri”, Renly smiled.

“Thank you”, Brienne smiled, feeling relieved, feeling the warmth of true friendship...until all the syrupy feelings started to make her dizzy.

“Now get out”, she huffed and waved them off.

They chuckled.

“We love you, too”, smirked Loras as he closed the door. Brienne merely glanced at him.

After the door fell shut, Brienne sighed, hoping that finally they would return to peace and quiet in the office.

 

She checked her e-mails, double-checked the lines of code for the new program they were working on for one of the new clients in Dorne and logged onto the test system to check the progress of another. All the while Renly’s words were ringing in his ears.

 

‘ _He’s not happy.’_

‘ _He’s more than that.’_

 

Renly knew Jaime. Every Saturday the Lannisters and Baratheons met for dinner. From Loras’ reports she gathered it must be the dullest events in human history. But apparently the food was good and not coming was not an option.   
As Brienne simulated process after process in the test system, crossing them off her checklist in case it worked or noting the errors in case it didn’t, she wondered what the hell these rich, powerful people talked about.

  
What _he_ talked about.

  
Next she imagined him sitting at the dinner table without his shirt on, his hair sticking to his forehead, his chest glistening, a few drops of sweat tangled in his dark chest hair-

 

_WHAT THE SEVEN HELLS!?!_

 

“Fucking Lannister”, she mumbled, jumped up, fought very hard not to look out of the full-length windows, grabbed her bag and stormed out of the office for a late lunch. She never took lunch. Pod reminded her so with a stunned look. She huffed and went out, anyway.

 

There was a cute café next to her tower called _Hot Pie_ , which made the best baked goods and coffee King’s Landing's business district had to offer. For the first time Brienne entered. After a quick check of the display, she settled for a piece of apple pie and a green tea. When the friendly looking cashier asked her if it was to go, she declined with a shake of her head.

She took her food and hot beverage and settled for a table in the corner, half hidden behind the coat rack.

As it turned out, she had barely missed the rush, for after her second bite from the pie, a horde of businessmen and women filled the café. They were four behind the counter now and Brienne watched how they efficiently worked together, dancing around each other in easy, practiced moves. They were in perfect sync. Brienne was impressed. The café was empty in no time, expect for the few lunch meetings that were going on at some tables.  
  


With a smile Brienne looked out the window, the counter ballet having relaxed her somehow. She was watching the street, her mind flying in the clouds, when a familiar voice pulled her back to Earth sudden and hard.

“A chocolate fudge cake and a large -“

“ -lemon ice tea”, the cashier finished.

The customer’s lips jerked into a smile.

“Tough day, Mr. Lannister?”

Jaime Lannister sighed.

“Like every other day”, did he retort, the charming smirk still in place.

“You’ll get through it”, came the cheerful reply from the curly haired young man behind the counter. “I have to check if I still got an entire cake in the back. Otherwise I can only offer you what is left of this one and some brownies, maybe?”

“I take what I can get, Piet.”

Piet the cashier laughed.

“You’re a chocoholic.”

Lannister's smirk widened into a smile. “You know it.”

Piet nodded. “I’m certainly not complaining.”

They shared a chuckle, then Piet disappeared in the back.

Jaime Lannister stared out of the window, ignoring the people in the café, who were all staring at him.  
  


Brienne Tarth was one of them. Pressed against the coat rack, hiding behind jackets and coats, peeping through them with a curious blue eye.

 

_Seven hells._

 

There he was.

 

Even more gorgeous than from afar.

 

_Unreal_ , that’s the thought that danced in her head as she watched him like all the others, like a lion in a zoo. No man should be that beautiful, hair golden and shining, falling to his temples, cut in a boyish way that made every woman’s heart throb with need to run her fingers through it. He was clean shaven, showing off his strong, perfect jaw. _Maiden have mercy._

He was wearing a black suit and a white shirt like all the others, yet he looked more handsome than any of them. The fact that Brienne knew what he was hiding underneath the jacket and the shirt did not make it easier for her to stop her mouth from watering; or her heart from pounding.

 

_What does he smell like?_

_How would it feel like to be in his arms?_

_His hands are big. Would they be gentle? Rough?_

_His lips are thin, yet fit perfectly into his face. Are they soft? Warm?_

 

For a moment she lost herself in thoughts of him kissing her, head titled upwards since she was a bit taller than him, eyes falling close, the tip of his straight nose brushing along her cheek as he parted his lips to slide his tongue against hers.

Brienne bit her lower lip and squeezed her legs together. She hadn’t been kissed in years. Now, with him standing there in his divine beauty, she became fully aware of how much she missed it.

 

_Damn him!_

 

The sound of shattering porcelain startled both of them. His head snapped around on instinct while she flinched. But her eyes stayed on him and her heart skipped a beat as she was presented with the full frontal of his face, his beautiful face…with the dark shadows under his sad eyes.

 

_Sad eyes? What the seven hells?_

 

Brienne let the coats drop and leaned back in her seat, heart pounding in confusion…and some sort of weird longing, annoyingly. A wish to comfort, to reach out, to give him a hug was all present inside of her for a moment. One stupid, annoying moment.

  
“There we go, Mr. Lannister”, she heard Piet say proudly. Sounds of a paper carton being folded, then the sound of a fridge opening and closing, then ice cubes and liquid spilling into a large cup. The lemon ice tea, Brienne thought.

She didn’t dare to take another look at him. But she listened. All her senses were focused on the sounds he made, the friendly banter as he paid and took his goods before he walked out of the café with proud, certain footsteps.

She let out a breath when the door fell close, yet her eyes looked out the window. She almost squealed when he stood right in front of her, his back to her, looking to his left and right before he jogged across the street, golden hair billowing and shining in the wind.

 

_Seven hells. No man should be that beautiful._

 

 

When Brienne returned to the office, she made a point to not look out the window, not once. She concentrated on her work and drowned herself in line after line of code, her fingers flying across the keyboard, forgetting everything else.

A soft knock on her door made her snap out of it. As she looked up from her screen she realized it was dark outside.

“Do you still need me, Miss Tarth?” Pod asked, bag already in hand.

“Go home, Podrick. Good night.” She gave him a smile, which for some reason always made him smile, as well.

“Good night, Miss Tarth.”

They nodded at each other and Pod left, leaving the door open. Only the hallway was lit, the offices behind the glass walls were all dark. A look on her computer clock told her it was almost 9pm.

She stretched, feeling her tense muscles now. Another hour, she told herself, set an alarm and resumed programming.

 

At 10pm she finally called it a day, the numbers and letters swimming before her eyes. She smiled, though. A productive day.

Brienne made a quick visit to the bathroom.

On her return to her office a spot of light in the darkness outside caught her attention.

  
The Lion.

  
He was still in the office.

Brienne couldn’t help but walk up to the window to have a closer look.

The desk didn’t look any better than this noon, papers still scattered all across the surface. Some of them on the floor even.

And he was still hunched over them, his head resting in his hand...not moving.

Brienne bit her lip as suspicion rose in her. A smirk grew on her lips.

  
She really shouldn’t.

  
He still wasn’t moving.

  
She gnawed on her lip.

  
Those damned sad, stunning green eyes were dancing behind her eyes.

 

_‘He’s not happy.’_

_  
‘That’s not all he is.’_

 

_Oh, what the hells._

 

Brienne walked over to her desk and selected his contact. Pod had put it in, unbidden. Before she could change her mind she put her headset in her ear and dialed the number on her telephone. Then she walked back to the windows.

She laughed when the lion jumped in his chair, more papers flying to the floor.

He really had been asleep.

She watched him rub his face and massage his neck, then he looked up at the clock above his door and frowned.

Would he be curious enough?

He picked up the phone.

 

“Hello?”

“Just checking if you’re still alive. For a second there I thought you might have had a heart attack. A man of your age and your position is in the high-risk group, as studies have shown.”

While she was speaking, his head snapped up in her direction, saw her standing at the window with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

To her surprise he turned in his chair, letting her see his legs and chest (and groin, Oberyn would point out)…and his damned handsome boyish smirk.

“I’m touched you’re so concerned for me, wench.”

“Just doing my duty as a citizen, Lannister.”

“Of course”, he smirked and began playing with the cord of his phone, the long index finger twirling around it. He looked like a teenage girl talking to her crush. Brienne’s heart skipped a beat at the thought.

“Wouldn’t have thought you’d dare to call again”, he said after a second of silence.

She snorted into the phone.

“You really think everyone is scared of the mighty Lannisters, don’t you?”

He only smirked and slowly swiveled his chair from side to side. It was…unsettling.

“Also, I won our argument, obviously. No more flashing.”

“Are you sad about that?”

She snorted again, not feeling it necessary that the half-naked sight of him had brandished itself into her memory.

“My employees were, for sure. I had to dry many tears.”

He chuckled. It was a nice sound, she had to give him that.

“I think they’re setting up a fanpage for you. Prepare yourself.”

He chuckled some more.

Brienne had no idea why she kept talking about this. Her heart was beating irritatingly fast.

“You know, we could help you with that”, she changed the topic.

“With what?” he asked, understandably confused.

She nodded at his desk.

“The papers. Your accounts? Who works with paper anymore? It’s the 21st century, Lannister.”

“We have an accounting system”, he retorted, shifting some of the sheets around, “but I admit it’s crap.”

“We could help you with that. We have the experience. We sold our accounting system to half of King’s Landing, recently sold it to Dorne. It’s good, it’s easily modifiable to your specific needs-“

Jaime interrupted her with a chuckle.

“Just when I thought you were flirting with me you turn this into a sales pitch.”

“I don’t flirt.”

“Why don’t I find that hard to believe?”

“Flirting is for the beautiful.”

One of the many lessons she had learned over the years.

  
Yet, she had no idea why she had said that to him.

  
“Bullshit”, he countered, “men are simple and easy to manipulate. All they want is power and sex.”

“I agree”, she snorted.

“They want to feel powerful, they want women throwing themselves at their feet, no matter what she looks like. Well, the straight ones, at least.”

“You looked me up, then”, Brienne commented, for a moment feeling small and as ugly as she was.

“Of course I did. The first woman who talked to me like you did? I spent that entire night looking you up. The lack of information is suspicious, wench. Apart from your company profile and mentions on the web sites of your schools – impressive stuff, by the way – you have no online persona. Shouldn’t the head of an IT-company have a majestic online presence?”

“You really have not the first clue about IT, do you?”

He chuckled. “Wanna teach me some things?”

Gods, the tone of his voice was as seductive as his beauty.

“Stop it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s ridiculous and degrading.”

“For whom?”

Both of us, she thought. She said nothing.

“Anyway,” she said, suddenly regretting that she had ever called him, “I just wanted to see if you’re alive.”

“Don’t.”

His voice, gods damn him. One second he sounded seductive and in the next he sounded close to tears.

“Let’s talk a little more.”

It almost sounded like a plead.

 

_‘He’s not happy.’_

 

“How bad is it?” she asked, took another step to the window, trying to see the contents printed on the sheets. Of course she couldn’t from so far away.

Jaime sighed.

“A fucking disaster. We’re still being stolen from, even after Stannis fled. And I can’t find the source in this fucking mess.”

He shoved some more sheets to the ground.

“I’m pointing out the obvious, but have you checked the bank accounts? Your creditors? Have you spoken to your bank to stop every payment that is going out to an Essosi bank address?”

“Of course I have. It’s not the creditors from what I can tell. I personally checked every Essosi supplier. The payments match the bookings. There are no missing bookings in the system, still we spend more than we bought.”

“Could be a virus”, Brienne contemplated, gnawing on her bottom lip, “making bookings in your system so the payments match. You should let your IT department check every booking. If the user IDs of the accountant who made the booking doesn’t match any of your accounting employees, you’ve got a starting point. The virus may fake these, too, but sometimes they’re sloppy with that.”

“Tarth…did you just help me?”

“I saved your life a few minutes ago”, she couldn’t help but shoot back.

He laughed. “I was sleeping, not dead!”

“At your age, is there really that much of a difference?”

He laughed once more.

“You’re an asshole.”

“Takes one to know one.”

Again, that charming laugh.

“Thank you”, he said then, voice now as soft as silk.

“You’re welcome. If you still need help, call me. You’ll have to pay, though.”

“A Lannister always-“

She hung up, rolling her eyes at him. She saw him laugh and couldn’t help the little smirk before she turned away from her window. Quickly she shut down her pc, gathered her things and left the office. Without glancing at him. Trying to be cool.

 

She dreamed of his laugh and his sad green eyes that night.

 


	4. Come over

A week later, after lunchtime, Brienne got a call.

“Yes, Pod?” she asked, continuing to type the e-mail to Oberyn she was working on.

“Ehm…Jaime Lannister for you.”

Annoyingly, her heart skipped a beat.

“Put him through.”

A click in the line.

“Brienne Tarth”, she announced.

“Wench, I know it’s you. I called you.”

She couldn’t help the little smirk.

“Politeness, Lannister. Look it up. P-o-l-“

“Shut up, Tarth.”

She suppressed a giggle.

“Is this a business call or are you simply looking for someone to annoy?”

“A business call. So I’d appreciate if you could stop typing.”

  
_Oh._

  
Her fingers stilled.

“Well done. Now put me off speaker and come to the window.”

With a grumble, she grabbed her headset. He was off speaker automatically when she switched it on. She got up and walked to the window. He was standing, looking up at her. He looked serious.

Brienne frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“You were right. It was a virus. When IT tried to delete it, the whole system crashed.”

“Fuck.”

“Exactly.”

“Please tell me you make daily backups.”

“Yes.”

It shocked her how relieved she was.

“That’s not half as bad then. It could take them a few days to re-feed the system, but after that it should be fine.”

“No. That shitty program has to go. I want yours. Come over and install it.”

Jaime’s jaw clenched. His entire posture was tense.

“Lannister, you can’t just install a system like this like you install a game or an anti-virus software – which you should also buy new, I think.”

“Do you have that?”

“Um, yes.”

“Good, bring it. Come over. Now.”

“As I said-“

“Tarth. Stop being difficult. This entire fucking company is difficult. My father is going to kill me once word gets out. And it will. Soon. I need a solution if I want to live. You’re my solution. You offered. Now get your ass moving.”

“I can’t just walk over there and put a CD in your computer. It simply isn’t possible. We have to check your hardware, your software, your servers, everything. We need access to your data. For legal reasons alone I can’t-”

“We work out the legal part while you’re working. I trust you.”

That had her stunned.

“Why?” she couldn’t help but ask, looking through the windows.

She saw him shrug.

“Gut feeling. I can read people. I know when someone’s trying to fuck me over. You’re not one of them.”

“Ehm…what about Stannis?”

His jaw clenched. “Not now, wench. Come over.”

She wanted to protest again, but he took a step forward and even across the distance she saw the intensity of his look, felt it on her skin and in her chest.

“I need you.”

 

Her heart skipped a beat.

 

This was ludicrous.

 

There had to be contracts, they had to talk money, they-

 

“Please.”

  
All air went out of her in a long sigh.

  
“Seven hells”, she breathed.

“Thank you.”

He nodded at her, then turned around and hung up, only to pick up the phone again to call someone else. Brienne couldn’t help but watch him talk, still standing, sometimes gesturing with his arm. After he slammed down the phone, he looked up at her.

She jumped and fled the window to open her door.

“Pod. Emergency meeting. Call the Four…and come, as well.”

Ten minutes later, her elite force was briefed.

“Seven hells”, Margaery cursed.

“Yes”, Brienne confirmed. “This is our greatest challenge, yet. We need to double check the servers for that virus before we start. Pod, that’s your job. Make sure it’s gone and try to find out if it has sent out any traceable data as it died, you never know. You others know what to do. Loras, Sansa, you’ll check their system, see what they need, if their servers can handle our accounting system, which modules they’ll need, etc. Renly and Marge, you’ll discuss the financial and legal side with Lannister or his lawyers. He’s expecting you, so get ready asap and head over. In an hour?”

They nodded.

“Alright. Off you go then.”

They didn’t.

Brienne looked up from her desk. “What?”

“When the fuck did you and Jaime become best friends?” Renly asked the question on everyone’s mind.

“We’re not best friends. I shouted at him, he insulted me and in between we talked about the Stannis situation. That’s all.”

They blinked in unison. They were really creepy sometimes, like drones of the same hive or something.

“Can we please talk about this later and just work for now?”

Her exhausted tone had the gossipers snap out of it. Now they were in work mode and scattered off.

Brienne dialed Jaime’s number and switched on her headset.

“Yes?”

He looked up at her. Obviously, he recognized her number now.

“We need an hour. We need someone from IT who can tell us what happened, someone from Accounting to talk about your requirements and someone from Legal and Finance. Which system did you use before it gave you the finger? Which modules?”

“Um…”

“Lannister”, she sighed.  
“I’m a finance guy, wench. IT will know.”

“Fine. As I said, in an hour.”

“I’ll have them ready.”

They nodded at each other and hung up. Jaime picked up the phone again.

Brienne let out a sigh, feeling sorry for him, and returned to her e-mail.

  


Exactly 52 minutes later, her Frivolous Four stood in front of her again, laptops and bags in hand.

“Ready”, Sansa said proudly.

Brienne nodded. “Thanks. Call me if I can support from here.”

“Eh, aren’t you coming?”

Brienne felt heat creep up her cheeks as she shook her head.

“Oberyn wants a video conference with his lawyers.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

The Four exchanged a glance. Brienne rather felt than saw it, for she didn’t dare to look up, trying to hide the truth from them as well as herself.

“Fine. See you in a few hours then”, Renly snarled in that irritating tone of his.

“Lannister is expecting you”, she nodded and typed away on her computer, composing another e-mail.

  

In the middle of her conference call with Oberyn and his lawyer, her phone rang. Even before she saw the number she thought the ring tone sounded angry. First, she declined. He called again. Three times did they do this. Call. Decline. Call. Decline. Call. Decline.

“Answer it, Brienne. It could be an emergency”, Oberyn said on her screen, smiling warmly at her. The lawyer not so much.

“Sorry”, she apologized, muted her mic, picked up her headset and walked over to the window.

“Why the fuck aren’t you here?!” he shouted as soon as she picked up.

Boy, he looked furious. She felt his anger even across the street. Her crew of five stood in his office. Sansa and Pod waved shyly. Margaery had her arms crossed in front of her, giving her look that screamed _‘I told you so’_. Which she hadn’t.

“I’m in an important call, Lannister.”

“Come. Over. Now.” His breathing was hard, his voice just so.

“You don’t need me for this. I sent you my best, they know the systems as well I do.”

“I want you. I bought you!”

“You didn’t buy anything yet. That’s what they are there for. Now stop whining like a lion cub and get. To. Work.”

She hung up.

He slammed his fist against the window. Her crew flinched, except Renly and Loras. They were used to Lannister outbursts, apparently.

Brienne walked away from the window and resumed her call.

“Thanks for waiting.”

Oberyn smiled at her. “Emergency? Or needy lover?”

If she hadn’t been blushing before, now she definitely was.

“Shut up”, she told him, which always made him laugh.

His lawyer looked from him to her and back again.

“You were saying?” Brienne addressed the beautiful woman with short black hair and put all thought of Jaime Lannister far away from her mind.

 

~oOo~

 

A few hours later, her team of five hadn’t returned. Jaime wasn’t in his office. Brienne started to worry. She called Pod.

“Miss Tarth?”  
“How is it going, Pod?”

  
Rustling.

  
Pod’s squeal.  
  
“If you want to know what is happening”, Jaime growled angrily, “get your ass over here.”

Then he hung up.

Brienne huffed and slammed down the speaker.

 

_Asshole._

 

She did not feel guilty.

 

She did not.

 

…Brienne sighed and put her head in her hands.

  
She should have gone over there. She was the CEO and this was a most lucrative deal. She would have gone for every other client, no matter how short notice.

 

…But the thought of standing in front of him, of looking him in the eye with nothing to separate them except his desk…just the thought scared her. If only he wasn’t so beautiful, so magnetic. Brienne remembered her fast beating heart and the yearning she had felt in the café, when he hadn’t even seen her.

  
All her life she’d been drawn to beauty like a moth to a flame. She knew it was her weakness. She simply lost her head. It had taken weeks for her to relax in Oberyn’s presence. For months she had followed Renly around campus, not wanting to see that he was gay. Her wretched heart only chose men who were way out of her league. Maybe to stay safe. Maybe to not get broken again.  


There was something about Jaime that got under her skin, from the very first moment they had laid eyes on each other she wanted him, yearned for him. More than she had ever wanted anyone else. It had happened a few times, this strong physical attraction that drove her nuts and made her panties damp, but it had never been this bad.

Had she gone over there, she only would have made a fool of herself, she was sure. And having her employees, her friends, witness this…no, just no. Out of the question.

 

This was the best solution. It didn’t affect work. If she hadn’t thought her team couldn’t manage, she _would_ have gone. But they didn’t need her. They would represent Tarth Digital just fine.

 

 

A few more hours passed. It was dark outside. Brienne wasn’t lost in her programming as she usually was. Occasionally, she stretched in her seat to check if he was back in his office. She called her team. No one answered. Not even Loras, who usually didn’t give a damn.

When Jaime finally walked into his office, looking tired and worn out, she dialed his number at the speed of lightning. Her earpiece was already in place.

He let it ring, the bastard, opened another door which lead to a small bathroom and washed his face and hands. Looked into the mirror. Took his time.

 

_Yes, you’re beautiful, even now, now answer the damn phone!_

 

A turtle could have overtaken him on his way to the desk. There he took his time as well, tidying up his desk, sitting down, straightening his keyboard, putting a pen back into the pencil cup.

The only way she knew her ringing him was getting to him was the flexing of his jaw.

When he finally deigned to pick up the damned phone, she was fuming.

“Are you happy now?” she spat into the speaker.

“No, Brienne. I’m not happy.”

 

‘ _He’s not happy.’_

 

A large amount of anger left through her lungs as she breathed out.

“Jaime, there was no need for me to be there”, she said calmly, not even noticing she was using his first name for the first time.

That’s when he looked at her. His green eyes froze her to the spot.

“ _I_ needed you.”

  
Fuck, she almost burst into tears right then and there.

  
Such a weight settled on her chest, the weight of disappointing a friend. Which was ridiculous. They weren’t friends. They had spoken on the phone a few times, that was all.

“We don’t know each other, Jaime”, she tried, hating the stutter of her heart which told her otherwise.

He let out a breath, averted his eyes, closed and rubbed them with his fingers.

“You’re right. We’re strangers. We mean nothing to each other.”

 

_Of course we don’t! How could we?! We didn’t have one normal conversation. We know nothing of each other except what can be found on the internet!_

 

“Are you keeping my employees hostage?”

Changing the topic. That’s what Brienne was really good at.

“No. They offered to do a night shift to implement your system. All servers are down.”

“I see.”

Silence. He looked so tired. He looked like he needed a hug, the proud lion of Lannister.

“It will be fine, Jaime. We got you.”

He snorted a laugh.

“It’s not your fault.”

Why was she trying to cheer him up?

“Of course it is. I was the one who told IT to delete the virus. I was the one who ignored their warnings.”  


_Well, shit._

  
“I didn’t listen”, he continued, his voice sounding defeated, “I never do. I was furious about fucking Stannis and snapped. Like always. I am the stupidest Lannister. They told me often enough. Today, I’ve proved them right.”

“That’s not true.”

He snorted again, glancing up at her.

“How would you know? You don’t know me.”

Her heart skipped a beat, telling her otherwise. Stupid heart.

“No, but I’ve seen you on TV. You’re clever. Too clever for your own good. Your father brought you in because _he_ was too emotional about this, damaged LBS’ reputation further with his outbursts. You’re cool, you think before you speak, you use the weapons pointed at you and turn them around. I would pay a lot of money to be able to do what you do.”

Jaime looked up at her again. She tried a smile.

“It’s cute how you want to cheer me up, wench.”

“I’m not cute.”

His eyes looked at her for a moment.

“In a very weird way you’re the cutest woman I’ve ever met…or not met.”

“Shut up, Lannister.”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

He chuckled. “Jaime.”

Her lips parted.

“Jaime”, she said in a tone that had way too much yearning in it.

But his lips parted, too.

 

“Come over”, he said, his eyes burning like wildfire.

It sent goosebumps flying over her skin. Her nipples pebbled within seconds.

_  
Fuck._

  
“No.”

“Are you scared?”

_  
Hells, yes._

  
“No.”

“Liar.”

“Asshole.”

 

She wanted to jump out of her window through his and wrap her arms around him and kiss him until they passed out from lack of air.

For a while, they just stared at each other, listening to the other breathe. It felt like she was bare in front of him, as if he could see every inch of her body, past her skin and bones straight into her heart. She had to snap out of it or she _would_ go over.

“Have you fed my team?”

“Of course I have. They’re munching on their pizzas as we speak.”

He started swiveling in his chair again, his eyes still fixed on hers.

“Have you eaten?”

Why the heck did she ask this?!

“Yes, thank you…Though I’m still hungry.”

A shiver down her spine.

“Stop it, Jaime.”

“Come over.”

 

There it was again.

Brienne had waited for this the entire conversation. The self-awareness that she was an ugly, mannish giant and he a god.

“And then what?” she asked, anger and frustration rising up in her.

“I think you know what.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Come over.” His voice, like honey on her lips.

 

_What would it feel like to be wanted by such a man…_

 

“Stop it, Jaime. I’m serious.”

“Come over.”

He purred, he smiled, he showed off his groin, his fit body underneath his clothes, as if it was for her, all for her, as if he was just waiting for her to come and feast on him.

 

It hurt, it hurt so fucking much. It felt like the fucking bet all over again, like wanting something real, having it dangled in front of her eyes only to have it snatched away again and being laughed in the face for thinking she could have it in the first place.

 

Brienne snapped.

 

“And then what, Jaime?! Will you kiss me? Touch me? Fuck me on your desk? Will you tell me I’m beautiful?”

The smile on his lips died and he stopped swiveling.

“I don’t flirt. And I don’t like being flirted at, so just fucking stop. I know what I look like, I don’t need someone like you toying with me.”

“Someone like me?”

Tears blurred her vision, somewhere inside she heard a voice to for goodness sake not say it, but she was too far gone to stop.

“A man so beautiful you want to fall to your knees and thank the Mother for creating him. A man so beautiful you forget everything when you see him and can’t do anything else but stare, thinking over and over again that no person should be so very beautiful, blessed with so much while others got nothing.” She gulped. “A man so beautiful he would never touch the likes of an ugly beast like me.”

With that, she hung up and dashed to her desk.

As she shut off her computer and gathered her things, her phone rang. She shook her head as if he could see her, her tears flowing over, running down her cheek.

 

She was ashamed and felt so fucking stupid as she stormed out, flicking the lights off before she ran, sobbing like a teenage girl.

 

The ringing stopped.

 

Gods, he wouldn’t try to catch her at the exit, would he?!

 

Brienne didn’t want to find out. She rode the elevator to the garage. One look at the security guard with her blotchy face and he opened the gate for her.

 

She ran, feeling as though the Stranger was chasing her.


	5. Tyrell Witchcraft

No more calls.

The implementation of their accounting system went smoothly. After the first version went live, Tarth Digital received the first payment immediately. Weeks passed. The Frivolous Four were at LBS almost constantly these days, transporting the backups into the new system, adding further modules and securities as Jaime demanded.

Brienne kept the blind of the window in his direct line of sight down constantly. Refused to think of the embarrassing little speech she had given. Refused to think of him at all.

 

She didn’t call him when Renly told her that Dark Lord Lannister was furious, had wanted to fire the entire IT department but that Jaime had taken full responsibility, saving their jobs. She didn’t call when Renly told her he was miserable, his father monitoring his every step now, that every decision had to be pre-approved by the old Lion.

  
She didn’t call him when he sent her entire office muffins from Hot Pie, thanking everyone for their quick help.

 

She didn’t even call him when he told the press that Tarth Digital had saved them with their flexibility and competence, that he was absolutely happy with the new system and that they planned to work with Tarth Digital as close as possible in the future.

 

She tried to tell herself that he had said it merely to regain the trust of his investors and the stock holders. Yet she couldn’t unsee the softness in his green eyes as he looked straight into the camera, right at her; right into her aching soul. Yet she couldn’t deny that they were busier than ever, getting more clients with every passing day after the interview. Soon, she would have to hire new people to manage the workload.

 

“A very clever move”, Oberyn praised her during one of their calls, “despite it all, the gratitude of a Lannister echoes through the realm, turning many heads. How did you make him say it?”

“I didn’t. No one can control this manchild. Except his father, perhaps.”

Oberyn chuckled.

“You know him well.”

“Not really. Only a few phone calls. Do you know him?”

“Yes. He worked an internship at my father’s firm for a year. I think the old Lion wanted to form a match between him and my sister, who fell for Rhaegar instead. Maybe she would have been happier with Lannister”, Oberyn mused.

The divorce of Elia Martell from Rhaegar Targaryen was still a tale often told in Dorne, the Dornish still shocked that Rhaegar simply deserted their sweet princess to be with a Stark she-wolf. The divorce was public and messy, Elia was hurt and angry. Two months after the divorce, Rhaegar and Lyanna Stark died in a car accident, which had the Dornish celebrate. Elia however, always a weak health, died soon after. Of a broken heart, according to Oberyn.

There was a pause in the man, haunted by memories of a sister Brienne had no doubt he had loved with all his heart.

Then a sigh and his black eyes sparkled again. They made her nervous, like always.

“I want to invest more”, he announced as if he just told her he had had Pentoshi takeout for lunch. “I want to buy half.”

“What?! No. I won’t give up control.”

“49%, then. With all these new clients, you'll need capital. I have capital. And I believe in you.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

He did. She believed he did, which still surprised her.

“Is the prince of Dorne allowed to be shareholder of a company in Westeros?”

Oberyn laughed.

“Sweetling, that’s all we do. Buy up every company and every scrap of land until all of it is ours.”

“Huh. Shouldn’t I alert the authorities or something?”

He laughed again. It made him look boyishly handsome.

“Oh, they don’t care. No one cares if enough money is involved. But I need you to keep your mouth shut to not spill Dorne’s master plan. How about dinner when I come over?”

 

_‘Come over.’_

_  
Gods, don’t think of that now!_

 

“You’re coming to KL?”

“Of course. Now that I’m partner, I’d like to work with you. For a while. I always do that. Buy a company, work there for a bit, see if processes need to be improved and when everything is to my satisfaction – and/or I’m bored – I leave again.”

Brienne narrowed her eyes suspiciously. After months with Oberyn, she knew him quite well.

“I will add a clause that forbids you to sleep with my employees.”

Another charming laugh. His sunflower shirt was only half-way buttoned up, exposing his bobbing adam’s apple and his chest hair as he swung back his head.

“What about partners?” he purred next.

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Have you forgotten everything I taught you? That stick is back in your glorious ass. I’ll make it my first task to remove it once more.”

“Bye, Oberyn.”

That impossible man chuckled and winked.

“Bye bye, sweetling. I’ll send over a first draft of the contract as soon as possible.”

Brienne closed the call with a sigh.

 

Oberyn as her partner?

 

He had been helpful and genuinely interested in her business. Otherwise he wouldn’t have invited her to Dorne and had toured the country with her. No Westerosi business was allowed in Dorne until it was approved by the royal family. Oberyn had seen the potential, knew that digitalization was the future and he wanted to be the leading nation in this area –as in everything else. He was ambitious, but not unkind. He could be just as sharp and cunning as the Lannisters, but it was always in the interest of his country and it made her oversee this flaw.

 

Gah, she had to think about it. Maybe Oberyn was joking, after all. He loved every grain of Dorne’s sand. Why would he leave?

 

~oOo~

 

Turned out, Oberyn hadn't been joking. He made an offer which had her jaw drop to the floor.

“You can’t refuse”, Margaery said helplessly, in her head already planning their investments, no doubt. She was a financial and strategic genius, having learned from the best – her grandmother, the gran matriach Olenna Tyrell.

“I know. With his help, we could -”

“- do anything”, Renly agreed, staring at the number on the screen.

Brienne let out a sigh and put her head in her hands, letting out a grunt.

“I don’t know. I built it all alone. What if he tries to change things? Tries to tell me what to do? Seduces every man and woman in this office?!”

That had Renly chuckle.

“Loras and I were thinking of trying something more extravagant.”

Brienne cringed. “Please don’t overshare”, she begged.

“He’ll only have 49%, Bri. You’d still be in control.”

“Yes, but he could make everything more difficult. I’m used to making the decisions on my own. It’s my baby.”

“Sleep over it”, Renly advised with a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Call Olenna, maybe. She’ll give you her opinion. I believe she shares some companies with the Martells.”

Brienne’s head snapped up.

“Do you think she would do that?”

Renly shrugged. “I think so. She hates me, but she likes you. I’ll ask Loras to send you her number.”

“Thank you.”

They shared a smile, then Renly left.

Margaery was standing at the window. Brienne didn’t need to guess who she was looking at.

Her heart skipped a beat when she waved and smiled.

“He’s nice, really. Underneath all that Lannister pride and arrogance. I like how he stepped up for the IT guys. They were so scared to lose their jobs, poor lads. But he stepped in front of them, shielded them…like a hero.”

Brienne snorted.

“He did!” Marge insisted with a smirk, looking over her shoulder at her boss, “you would think the same if you had been there.”

“I was busy!” she almost shouted. “I’m the CEO of a company! He’s just a client! I don’t have time to greet every client personally!”

“You always do, though.”

The knowing smile Marge gave her had Brienne grinding her teeth.

Marge waved again. Then she laughed.

 

No.

She would not engage.

 

She giggled some more.

Then she lifted her arms questioningly.

A moment later, Pod opened the door.

 

Hooray, her salvation!

 

“Yes, Pod?” she smiled.

Pod pressed his lips together, his mobile in hand.

“Uh…um…I have a call…for Margaery.”

The Tyrell heiress giggled and waved him over.  
Brienne growled.

After Pod handed over the phone, he waved across the street, then hurried out of the office, giving Brienne an apologetic smile.

“Hello, Jaime”, Margaery greeted him. “I’m fine, thank you. How are things?”

She listened. Brienne didn’t.

“Oh, thank you”, she looked down and flattened the cotton of her turquoise summer dress, smiling.

 _Sweet talker_ , Brienne huffed.

“She’s fine”, Marge said softly, peaking over her shoulder.

Brienne automatically sat straighter.

“A red blouse and black jeans…Black flats. She never wears heels.”

Brienne's heart began pounding.

“I know! We all tell her to wear much more blue.” She giggled again.

Brienne huffed out a breath, clenching her jaw. Her cheeks heated up.

Another peak over her elegant shoulder, then Marge giggled. “Yes, she is blushing.”

“Out!” burst it out of Brienne.

“I think you made her mad”, came Marge's amused comment.

“You make me mad, you traitor! Get out of my office! And tell Lannister not to distract you from your work!”

“I am supposed to tell you that- ah, yes. Of course you heard. Bet you didn’t need the mobile for that.”

They laughed at her expense.

“What did you do to make her so mad at you, Jaime?”

_  
Gods, what if he told her?!_

  
Seconds ticked away to aeons.

“Ah. Well, that’s not surprising. You say a lot of stupid things when you’re stressed.”

Brienne could hear him laugh through the phone.

“Well, my advice would be to apologize. Brienne isn’t very resentful. If your apology comes from the heart, she will hear you out and forgive you…okay, I’ll try. Bye.”

Marge hung up, smiling despite Brienne’s fury.

“He wants you to call him so he can apologize. He says he misses you.”

Her traitorous heart clenched, calling out to a man she had never touched.

“It was only a couple of phone calls!” she exclaims desperately, burying her face in her hands again.

“There’s something between you, you know that as well as all of us. He…”, Margaery hesitated, the sensual smirk gone, “he was really upset when you didn’t come to his rescue.”

“I sent you. Why wasn’t that enough?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?”

Brienne sighed.

Marge slowly made her way to the door.

“I think Renly’s right. Jaime’s unhappy. And lonely, I think. As far as I can tell the only friend he has is his brother…and the IT guys now, I guess.”

She smiled. It made Brienne smile, too. Damn that woman.

“Fine, I’ll call him.”

The room brightened with the brunette's beaming smile.

“He’ll be so happy.”

“Get out”, she groaned and finally, the young woman obeyed.

 

Brienne gnawed on her bottom lip as she stared at the phone next to her keyboard. Her mind was blank. Yet, after a moment she reached for the speaker and dialed. Slowly. His number vivid in her head.

It ringed once, then he picked up.

 

“I can’t believe she made you call me. That girl is a witch! I probably owe her my first-born now.”

Gods, how she had missed his voice. And that cute chuckle.

A knot in her throat. She swallowed hard. Her chin wobbled. Her heart clenched.

Why did she have to be such a foolish girl, even after all these years?

Jaime exhaled.

“Brienne.”

Tears flooded her eyes and she covered the speaker as she swallowed.

“Won’t you come to the window and chat with me?”

She shook her head, failing to realize he wasn’t able to see her.

There was the crunch of leather on the other end of the line. His breathing was more audible.

“Brienne”, he whispered, his voice shaking.

“Jaime”, she whispered back, hating herself.

They were silent for a long while. She heard him swallow hard several times. Did it herself.

A single tear escaped her lashes. She angrily brushed it away.

“I’m sorry”, he finally said, voice low and raw and beautiful, “I was stressed and frustrated and out of my mind with worry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Not at all. I…”, he exhaled loudly, “you know what I wanted.”

Her eyes fell closed as a shiver rolled down her body.

“What you thought you wanted”, came her dry comment.

“I don’t want to fight again.”

Neither did she. She knew the truth, there wasn’t a need to talk about it, not really. It had been in the heat of the moment. He had needed a vent for his frustration and who was easier prey than the ugly woman from across the street?

“Why were you angry that I didn’t come?” she asked softly.

Another cringe of leather. He might have leaned back in his chair.

“I don’t know. Maybe I just needed a friend. I got the impression you might wanted the job.”

“I do”, she admitted.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I’m scared”, she whispered, condemning herself for her openness.

 

 _Don’t make yourself vulnerable_ , the hurt girl inside her heart shouted desperately.

 

“Of what?”

She didn’t reply.

“Of me?”

She didn’t reply.

“I’m scared, too.”

She nodded. She knew. Now, she knew.

“It’s just been a few phone calls”, she said.

“It’s ridiculous”, he confirmed.

Brienne nodded, sniveling, hating herself for doing it.

“I want to keep talking”, he stated tonelessly after a moment. “I want to know you.”

“Why?”

She honestly had no clue.

“You fascinate me.”

She snorted loudly. It made him laugh.

“Don’t mock me, wench.”

“Sorry. It just makes no sense. I’m really boring.”

“You built a company. Made it from the garage on Tarth to the Red Keep Towers in King’s Landing within 7 years. You have over a hundred clients and manage them with less than 50 employees. It’s impressive.”

“Did you memorize facts about Tarth Digital, Lannister?”

Instead of the expected chuckle, his voice was soft as he spoke: “I read everything I could in the past weeks. Probably would have bought stocks if you were on the market. Just to have a tiny piece of you.”

Brienne’s foolish heart swelled to trice its size, filled itself with longing and hope, foolish hope.

“Please stop saying these things, Jaime.”

“I will stop the flirting. But I will speak of what I feel. And I want you to do the same. No one cares what I feel, except Tyrion maybe, but he has his own Lannister traumas to deal with. His are far worse than mine, so I don’t want to put my crap on top of his. I just want someone who listens…who cares.”

 

Fuck.

She did.

So much.

From a couple of phone calls.

 

She felt so raw with emotions, all sorts of confusing, too intense feelings linked to this beautiful man.

“I already said I take the job”, she tried to joke, fighting the urge to jump up and cross that damned street to throw herself in his arms and hug him until all the pain was gone.

“Good. It pays in baked goods and lemon ice teas. There’s a nice café across the street-“

“No.”

He exhaled. “Brienne. Come on. It’s just a lunch.”

She squirmed in her seat. Tell him what she feels, he had said.

“Jaime, I…I just can’t. I don’t trust easily. Especially men who are too handsome for their own good. You’ve seen me. I have my own traumas.”

Jaime took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“I could try to convince you that I won’t make another pass at you, but…I think that would be a lie.”

“Jaime-“

“I know. No flirting. I will stop. I just want you to know…from what I’ve seen online and through the window…I still would have wanted to. That night. I don’t understand why, really, but I am attracted to you…That night I wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before.”

The urgency, the rawness in his tone almost made her drop the phone. She gulped and ignored her stiffening nipples.

“I don’t know what to respond”, she murmured.

“Did you want me, too?” he asked, his voice so close to her ear that she imagined him whisper it directly into it, lips brushing her ear shell.

“Yes”, she admitted in a whisper.

“Really?”  


_Self-doubt? Jaime Lannister doubting his attractiveness? Really?!  
_

“You know I did.”

“Fuck, Brienne…”, he sighed, the frustration audible in his voice.

She gulped, squeezed her legs together.

They breathed into their speakers.

“I haven’t had sex in two years.”

Brienne squeezed her eyes shut. And her lips. Because her mouth wanted to offer herself.

“I only had sex once. Because of a bet some boys made. The prize for my defloration was a six-pack.”

A pause.

Brienne stiffened. Had she just said that out loud?! To an almost stranger?!

“Give me his name and I’ll kill him for you.”

The laughter burst out of her. From all the things he could have said, she hadn’t expected this.

“I broke his nose. With the six pack.”

“Good girl.”

They shared a laugh.

“Boy, you sure know how to kill an erection, wench.”

“What?!”

 

_WHAT?_

 

Jaime chuckled.

“If you had been at the window, you would have seen it. It was glorious. A monstrous bulge in my pants.”

“Shut up”, she rolled her eyes, but blushed…and fought the urge to jump up and run to the window.

But it was too late now, anyway. Even if he had told the truth.

“Come to the window, Brienne. Let me see you. I miss you.”

 

How could he miss her?  
How could she miss him?

  
“Not tonight, Jaime.”

He exhaled again.

Brienne gnawed on her bottom lip.

 _Don’t say it_ , her inner voice warned.

“I miss you, too.”

 

Her inner voice threw up her hands, gave her the finger and ran off.

 

Another pause, in which Brienne leaned against the speaker, wanting nothing more than to feel his cheek against hers.

“So, just phone calls then?”

“Yes.”

“How about vid calls?”

Brienne couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Jaime Lannister, did you learn a new word?”  
“Yes, and I’m fucking proud of it.”

She laughed.

“We really were behind on the digitalization. But your minions have taken matters into their own hands. Soon, I’ll know how to access my private bank account online and what can stop me then?”

She laughed again.

“Nothing, I’m sure. You can buy all the chocolate fudge cakes and lemon ice teas online and never have to cross the street again.”

“What? Hot Pie has an online store?”

“Yup. With daily pics of their goods. And guess what: They deliver, too!”

Jaime gasped. She heard him hacking into his keyboard.

“Fuck the seven hells”, he exclaimed.

It made her laugh again. “You’re an idiot.”

“Shhh! I’m shopping cake. Don’t disturb a man on his hunt for chocolate, wench.”

“Alright. I have to go home, anyway. Happy browsing.”

“Wait! How do you know chocolate fudge cake is my favourite?”

“Goodbye, Jaime.”

“Is your company full of witches?”

She hung up, smiling and shaking her head.

 

Stupid Lannister.

 


	6. Ask me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a rollercoaster, not gonna lie. Still, I like it.

Now that Jaime knew _Hot Pie_ had an online store, her office was receiving freshly baked goods almost daily.

 

For Brienne he had ordered a chocolate fudge cake the very next morning, making her laugh. Of course she shared it with her colleagues, grabbed a piece for herself and went to the window, pulling up the blind.

The golden lion was there, with his back to her, just pulling a folder out of the shelf next to the bathroom door, flipping it open and browsing through it. When she spotted a headset on top of his ear, she laughed. Quickly, she hurried to her own desk, put on hers and speed dialed him.

It looked absolutely natural and cool how he tapped the headset to take her call.

“Lannister”, he greeted absentmindedly, turning another page.

“My, my, my, Lannister. Online shopping _and_ a new headset?! What are we doing to you?! Can your aging mind keep up?”

His head had snapped up as soon as he had recognized her voice. Now they were smiling at each other.

“Good morning”, he greeted her with a smile so handsome it made her heart ache.

“Good morning.”  
“Did you sleep well?”

Why did she find this question so cute? It was that damned soft tone in his voice.

“Quite well, thank you. And thanks for the cake. It’s really good.”

“Tell me how you know.”

Brienne smirked.

“Tonight. Got our weekly team meeting in five.”  
“Where? In your office?”

“No.”

“Shame. I would have offered bare-chested sit-ups.”  
“Hells no. I’m glad the _LLBLS_ got canceled forever. May she rest in peace.”

“ _LLBLS_?”

“Try to figure it out. You’ve got eight hours.”

She hung up and pushed a piece of chocolate fudge cake in her mouth, chewing happily and looking down at him. He bit his bottom lip and scrunched his nose. It made her giggle like a teenager, so she hurried to step away from the window.

 

Her day flew by on gilded wings. All day she had looked forward to calling him. She picked up her headset and dialed his number, walking up to the window. He was sitting at his desk, sucking on the straw of a lemon ice tea. There were three large empty plastic cups on his desk.

He looked up at her, smiled with straw in mouth, waved and tapped his headset.

“Look how cool I am!”

“Poor Piet. I hope you didn’t make him come up all these floors three times.”

“Of course not! I’m not that cruel. Ordered five, keep them in my mini bar.”

“You have a minibar?”

He swiveled around in his chair and opened the first closet behind him with the same mahogany front as the rest of the office.

“Seven hells! I want one.”

“I can order one for you. Online. I’m young and hip, you know.”

Brienne laughed.  
“No one says _hip_ anymore, Jaime.”

“I’ll bring it back. Just watch me.”

“I will.”

 

_(He did bring it back. In his next interview, he let it drop four times. It spread like wildfire. Bloody Lannisters.)_

 

“Now, you promised to tell me how you know my preference in cake.”

“Have you figured out what _LLBLS_ means?”

He shoved his folder to the side and picked up a sheet of paper.

“I made a few guesses.”

Even from here she could see the entire page was full of his scribble.

“Didn’t you work at all today?” she teased.

“Hey! I have a right to a lunch break just like everyone else. And since I don’t have to run down to _Hot Pie_ anymore, I have a lot of spare time on my hands.”

“I find it very sweet that you don’t make your secretary go down there every day. Very emancipated, Lannister.”

“Ha, if I asked Pia to do it she would emasculate me.”

Brienne laughed. Jaime smiled up at her.

“Take a seat, wench. It may take a while to get through my list.”

“Fire away, I’m getting another piece of that cake.”

“It’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

She made her way down the hallway, past the dark offices into the kitchen. She sliced herself one, then another piece, biting her lip, trying not to think what the dark chocolate would taste like if she licked it off Jaime’s chest.

“Ready?”

“Yes, sure, go ahead.” She grabbed herself a soft drink, too, then headed back to the office.

“So, I’m pretty sure the ‘S’ stands for ‘Show’, since you said it got canceled.”

“An analytic approach. I’m surprised”, Brienne teased as she entered her office and kicked the door shut with her heel.

“I’m a clever boy.”

“Yes. You hired me”, she countered easily.

He chuckled.

“And at least one ‘L’ must stand for ‘Lannister’.”

“Only you would assume it could be more than one. _‘Lannister-Lannister-B-something-Lannister-Show’_?”

“You’re so smitten with me that I didn’t want to rule it out”, he purred.

“Stop.”

“Sorry.”

Brienne busied herself with dragging the round table that stood in the corner of her office for small meetings to the window where she could see him.

“I haven’t heard any suggestions, yet.”

“Sorry. Got distracted by your ass.” He cleared his throat. “ _’Lannister’s lusciously bewitching lunch Show’_?”

“No.”

“’ _Lannister’s ludicrously big dick Show’_?”

“Ew. Don’t put me off my cake, Lannister. And there isn’t a ‘D’.”

Jaime chuckled as she pushed her comfortable gaming chair to the table. He watched her settle down, pull up her leg to rest her ankle on top of her knee and reach for her cake.

Brienne pushed a piece of cake into her mouth and nodded at him to continue.

“’ _Lannister’s livid beautiful legs show’_?”

“Please don’t tell me you did your work-out in just your underwear before I came back.”

He chuckled. “No. I didn’t want a mob of women and men storm the tower to get a piece of me.”

Brienne rolled her eyes and ate another bite of cake. The first piece was halfway gone already.

“Does one letter stand for a body part? Legs? Breasts? Biceps? Limbs? Balls?”

“What did I tell you about not putting me off my food?!”

He grinned up at her.

“Do women really hate balls? I always wondered.”

“I know one woman – and no, I’m not telling you her name so don’t bother asking – who likes them. But more the fact that they’re so vulnerable and the power it gives her when she…you know..”

“Are you talking about yourself, wench?” he purred.

“Gods, no.”

She visible shuddered.

“So you don’t like them”, he deduced from her reaction.

“Well, I don’t have firsthand experience – don’t laugh! You’re a child! – but I don’t find them attractive, no.”

Jaime swiveled in his chair. “Brienne Tarth watches porn. Interesting.”

  
_Fuck._

 

Her face went up in flames.

“Oh, and you don’t, do you?” she snapped.

“Two years, wench. Of course I do.”

“Why 'wench'? Of all the insulting pet names you could have given me, why an medieval one?”

Jaime shrugged. “Don’t know. I saw you and it just popped up in my head.”

“Your mind works in odd ways.”

“Don’t I know it”, he chuckled.

The first piece of cake was gone now. She pushed her fork into the second.

“Can it work out the mystery behind _LLBLS_ , though?”

“Hmm…so no body parts in there?”

“Nope.”

She saw him chew on his bottom lip, staring at his sheet of paper.

“Why don’t you just read them out to me?”

“Nah. I don’t think I got it, yet. You inspire me to continue on the analytical path.”

“Which means there are only versions with synonyms for your genitals in it.”

He smirked up at her.

“How well you already know me, wench.”

Brienne shook her head but smiled and continued to feast on her cake, enjoyed the soft, moist texture and the chocolate melting on her tongue. In the meantime, he was thinking.

“Is one ‘L’ for ‘Lunch’?”

“Very well combined, sir.”

“Lannister’s Lunch Break…something Show…”

“Ooooh, the contestant is close. One last letter to deduce. The audience his holding their breaths. Now, absolute silence! Let’s watch the mastermind work in awe.”

Since Jaime didn’t shoot back, Brienne realized he was fully in it now. He wanted to get the last letter. Was focused on only that. It was kind of cute.

 

It took him over a minute, then he shot out of his chair.

“LIVE!”

Brienne laughed.

“ _Lannister’s Lunch Break Live Show_!”

“Yes”, she giggled.

That giggle turned into a laugh when he crumbled the sheet of paper and slammed it into his wastebasket.

“Damn, that took long!” he exclaimed, but proudly showed her his white lion teeth.

“Never been good with words. Dyslexia.”

“Really?”

He nodded and sat back down again, swiveling around to grab another lemon ice tea from the minibar; and a muffin.

“Chocolate?”

“Naturally”, he answered and put it on his desk to let it warm to room temperature. He closed his lips around the straw of his lemon ice tea. She heard him suck through the phone.

“You really like that stuff, don’t you?”

He nodded, still drinking.

“It’s refreshing. Piet makes it fresh every day, with real lemons from Highgarden. But of course you know that already.”

“Actually, I didn’t.”

After another sip, the straw slipped out of his mouth and he looked up at her.

“Now tell me how you know my favorite cake and drink. It’s been driving me mad the entire day.”

“What did you come up with?”

Jaime shook his head.

“No, wench. No more guessing games. Tell me.”

Brienne looked down, using her fork to play with a few crumbs on her plate.

“I was there. _Hot Pie_. You walked in.”

With a gasp, he bolted out of his chair. It made her look up.

He stood so close to the window. His chest was heaving. His stare intense.

“When?” he asked in a tone that made her body fill with heat.

“A few weeks ago.”

“Before our fight?”

“Yes.”

His jaw clenched.

“When?” he asked again, his voice raw.

“Some days after our first call. After _LLBLS_ was canceled.”

He frowned.

“Where were you?”

“No-“

“Tell me”, he insisted, his stare pulling her to him, made her skin shiver, her nipples rise.

“The small table behind the coat rack.”

“Brienne”, he rasped and took another step in her direction. He took deep, audible breaths.

She couldn’t look anywhere else but him, heat in her cheeks and in her eyes, longing for him so much it hurt. She wanted to press herself against this heaving chest, push her fingers into his hair and press her mouth against his parted lips, wanted to beg him to teach her, to hold her, to make her his.

“Tell me”, he whispered, “tell me to come and I will. Right now. I want you, Brienne. I don’t care what you look like. I want you. Now. Say it. Say the words.”  
Her mouth went dry and she gulped.

She wanted to. Of course she did. For a few minutes in her life she wanted to feel desired, needed, loved. By him, by this beautiful, intelligent man.

“And what then? When it’s done, what will happen?” she whispered back.

He put his free hand against the glass, as if he was reaching out to her. His mouth opened to speak when all of a sudden, his door burst opened.

 

The cleaners.

 

Jaime's head jerked around, a second as dumbstruck as the cleaner. In the distance she heard the man apologize for not knocking.

“No worries”, Jaime tried a smile and slid back into his chair, pulling his legs underneath the desk, “go ahead.”

While the cleaner quickly went through his routine, Jaime kept staring at his computer.

Brienne couldn’t look anywhere else but him, watched his stiffening shoulders as the man moved around him and the flexing muscles in his jaw.

She couldn’t breathe until the door fell close and they were alone again.

Both of them let out a long breath.

Jaime put his head in his hand and raked his fingers through his hair.

“You’re driving me insane, woman”, he sighed.

“I’m not trying to.”

“I know. But I’m not sure whether that makes it better or worse.”

“Sorry.”

He snorted and shook his head.

“I wish you would have come up to me”, he then said.

“We didn’t like each other, Jaime.”

“I liked you.”

“So you would have greeted me friendly? You were having a bad day.”

With a sigh, he lifted his head and brushed through his hair again, turning towards her, leaning back in his chair.

“You would have made it better.”  
There was a sadness in his smile that she felt deep inside her heart.

“We were in the same room”, he went on.

“Yes”, she confirmed, not knowing what else to say.

He looked at her for a long moment.

“Will we ever be again? Willingly? Knowingly?”

“I don’t know.”

She didn’t. This thing with Jaime was so fucking intense. The sudden changes in mood and temper so confusing and frightening.

“Trust”, he said, answering a silent question between them.

“Trust”, she repeated with a nod.

“We’ll work on that”, he offered with a lazy smile.

She nodded again.

A moment longer they looked at each other, trying to understand why in the seven hells they felt so drawn to the other. Then Jaime heaved a sigh.

“Can I ask you about your accounting system?”

A change in topic.

Brienne smiled gratefully. “Of course.”

 

For a while, they discussed a possible module for the HR department to add to their system. It helped both of them to calm down, to clear their heads. They gently stirred to the topic of her Frivolous Four and Podrick.

“You’ve got good people working for you.”

“I know.”

“They love you.”

Brienne blushed and shrugged.

“You love them, too.”

“Yes. They’re with me since college. Well, everyone except Sansa. My father is friends with Ned Stark and we met one night at dinner.”

“Ugh, Ned Stark.”

“You know him?”

Jaime snorted. “Self-righteous bastard.”

“He is a good man.”

“Yes, he’s the best and everyone else is not worth his time.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Aerys Targaryen.”

“Oh.”

Of course she knew the story. Everyone knew.

“He judged my case, tried everything to get me imprisoned.”

“As far as I remember, the evidence was pretty clear.”

“I never said I didn’t do it”, Jaime said with a strong, even voice, looking up at her, “but he didn’t want to hear my side of the story. Aerys fucking Targaryen. Everyone hated him. He burned people alive, for gods’ sake. But once he was dead, suddenly everyone was defending the mogul and cursing me.”

Brienne waited for more, but he remained silent.

“Do you want to tell me?” she gently asked.

“Will you listen?”

“Of course.”

“Will you believe me?”

“I can’t promise that. I must hear it first.”

“Do you want to believe me?”

They gazed at each other through their windows.

“Yes”, she finally said.

Jaime closed his eyes. “I have this overwhelming need to nuzzle my face against your throat now.”

“Like the needy kitten you are.”

Jaime chuckled. “Yeah.”

 

They smiled. Then Jaime told her something he had never told anyone before. How proud he had been to get hired by that monster at the age of 17, to be made his PA so he could learn from him. How eager he had been in the beginning and how crushing it had been to learn the truth. That the man he had idolized was a mobber, a madman who was cruel to every single employee, who harassed the women, made them sleep with him, made them suck his cock underneath the desk while Jaime was in the room pretending not to see, to hear, while Aerys just smiled at him.   
On the business trip to Qarth, which would change Jaime’s life forever, Aerys had harassed the only woman in his entourage and at night, he had raped her. Jaime had been stinking drunk and half asleep in the next room. It had taken him too long to realize he wasn’t dreaming.  
  
“She was already burning when I stumbled in”, Brienne heard him say, his voice a haunted whisper. “I took a bottle of whiskey and hit him over the head with it. It didn’t shatter like it does in the movies. I still hear the noise it made sometimes. I hit his temple so hard he was dead instantly, the mad laughter gone…only her screams remaining…”

Brienne got out of her chair and pressed her hands against the glass, wanted to teleport herself over to him. He looked so fragile in his chair, so small. Like his 17 year-old self.

 

_Jaime..._

 

“I tried to extinguish her, wrapped a sheet around her…” he shook his head. “She was dead before the ambulance arrived.”

Jaime took a deep breath, letting the images pass behind his eyes.

“He was a murderer, a rapist and a lunatic, yet it was all forgotten for a chance to get the Lannister heir behind bars. Suddenly he was a visionary who had built an empire which I had destroyed with one single hit of a bottle.”

He snorted, all the frustration and pain coming out with that.

“I was 17, Brienne. Yet, Judge Stark knew no mercy. Tried to prove I was in it, that I helped Aerys doing it. That I killed him because I was mad that I didn't get the chance to rape and burn the poor woman alive. I was fucking 17!”

Brienne rested her head against the cool window and closed her eyes.

 

“Jaime”, she whispered, trying to tell him with this one word how sorry she was, how she wished things had gone differently, that she believed him.

“I would never do something like this to another person. Never.”

“I know. I know, Jaime.”

Her hands brushed over the glass. They wanted to brush over his cheeks, dry the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. She wanted to hold him and kiss him until he forgot it all.

“Ask me”, she whispered before she could think about it. “Ask me and I will.”

Jaime looked up at her, face red, cheeks wet.

“I want to hold you”, Brienne whispered, “Jaime. Ask me.”

Again, they were breathing heavily.

“No, Brienne. Not like this. Not for pity.”

Her own tears started brimming in her eyes.  
“You know that’s not why.”

Jaime stood and pressed his hands against the window, as well. It was only a street, but it felt like an entire ocean was between them.

“You will hate me in the morning, when the pity is gone. I don’t want it like this.”

Her skin was tingling. She was looking into his teary green eyes and it hurt so fucking much to see him in pain. She squirmed, squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get this need for him under control.

“I want you”, he whispered, “so fucking much. But not like this. Do you understand?”

She shook her head and bumped her head against the glass, letting out a shaky breath.

 

_Jaime_

_Jaime_

_Jaime_

 

“Yes, you do. We will hold each other, Brienne. I know we will. I will not stop bothering you until you are madly in love with me.”

Her eyes snapped open and she froze.

 

_Love_

 

_Love_

 

“And then not all of the Seven will keep me away from you. I’ll wait. I’ll earn your trust. Your friendship. Your love.”

“Love”, she echoed and he nodded, his jaw set.

“Love”, he repeated.

“I don’t want to love”, she whispered.

“You will. You will want to love me.”

That made her step back. Fear rose its ugly head.

 

Gods, she could fall in love with him.

 

It was so clear now. Maybe she was halfway falling for him already.

“You said friends”, she exclaimed, choking on her tears.

“For now, yes. But there is more than friendship, Brienne. Between us. So much more is possible between us.”

Yes. Yes, it was. She felt it in her heart and every inch of her skin.

“I don’t want to love someone as beautiful as you.” She had intended angry, but her voice sounded like a plea.

“Not even when he loves you back?”

For a second, hope. Bittersweet hope. Her worst enemy. Her aching heart burst into flames.

She shook her head, battling her stupid tears.

“It’s not possible”, she protested. “Never.”  
She pushed away from the window.

“Don’t hang up on me, Brienne. Not now! Not tonight!”  
Her finger was hovering over the button that would end the call. Her back was turned to him. There was that inner voice again, full of warnings and memories of heartbreak and betrayal, reminding her that she wouldn’t survive it a second time, that she had to protect herself.

 

“Please, Brienne. Not tonight…”

She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together, held her breath until she had to let go. It came out as a long, exhausted sigh.

“I believe you”, she said in the end, the silence between them unbearable.

“Thank you. You…you don’t know what that means to me. I’ve never told anyone.”

“You should have. You’ve been just a boy, traumatized and scared.”

“I know. It’s too late now.”

She nodded.

“I want to go home, Jaime.”

“Alright. Will…will you call me tomorrow?”

Her chin wobbled. His voice sounded frightened and pleading.

“I’ll try.”

Jaime exhaled. She heard a thump through the line; probably Jaime’s head against the glass.

“I want to”, she admitted.

“Goodnight, Brienne”, he whispered, his voice sounding as exhausted as she felt.

“Goodnight, Jaime.”

A tap of her finger ended the call.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaime's chocoholism is taken from an interview I watched with Nikolaj and his answer to the question What luxury he couldn't live without. :)


	7. Morning light

Brienne had nightmares that night. Of mad laughter, of violence and fire; of a shaking boy sitting at the foot of a bed with a burnt corpse on it, traumatized for the rest of his life.

With dark circles under her eyes she arrived at the office, later than usual, her custom made travel mug with her company logo in hand.

“You look like shit”, came Arya's motivating comment as she handed her her mail. Brienne didn't reply, for she knew it to be true.

A few more worried glances followed her down the hall. Thankfully, Pod was on the phone so she didn't have to deal with his big, dark puppy-eyes. Once her office door was closed, she took a deep breath. For a moment she was glued to the spot, all her senses focusing on her full-length windows, of what lay beyond.

 

_Jaime..._

 

As silently as possible she walked to her desk, not even realizing how ridiculous it was. She put her leather bag and her mug on it, her eyes instantly falling to her headset. Biting her bottom lip, her long fingers reached out, curled around it. As an instant reaction, her heart increased its beat.

 

There was a pinch there, too. The lingering hurt of rejection.

 

Of course she knew Jaime had been right to reject her last night. She _would_ have regretted it in the morning... wouldn't she?

 

_Jaime..._

 

She picked up her headset and walked to the windows.

  
He was there, sitting at his desk, flipping through a folder, signing things, the light of this sunny morning reflected in his golden hair. So beautiful, that man. How she wished he wasn't. If he wouldn't be so beautiful, maybe it would be easier to believe that he wanted her.  
  


She sighed.  
  


Jaime chose exactly this moment to look up at her. Brienne gasped and froze.

Slowly he leaned back in his chair, turned a bit to her. The back of his head against the backrest, the sunlight was caressing his face like she wished she could; tenderly, lovingly.

 

_Love..._

 

Jaime tried a smile, so soft and careful that it made her heart clench. She looked down at the headset in her hand, fumbled with the little thing. She was waiting...hoping he would call.

But he didn't. Waiting for her. Giving her space. Making it her decision.

For a moment she closed her eyes, gathering her bravery, her calm. With a deep breath she put the headset in her ear. Instantly, her phone rang, making her jump.

“Sorry”, was the first thing he said to her after she picked up. Brienne blushed and shrugged her shoulders.

“Did you sleep well?” Jaime asked softly. Brienne was still staring at her hands.

“No.”

“Me neither.”

“...Aerys?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too.” After she realized how stupid that sounded, Brienne hurried to add: “I-I mean, I wasn't there of course, but-”

“I understand.”

Finally, she lifted her gaze.

His green eyes gleamed in the sunlight. He wore such a soft expression it made her heart ache.

“Are you mad with me?”

Brienne shook her head. “No. You were right...Not like this.”

Jaime nodded. “No matter how much I would have loved to have you in my bed last night. I'm sure I would have slept much better with you in my arms.”

A shiver down her back.

“Unless you snore”, he joked.

Brienne huffed out a laugh and looked up. The way he smirked at her made her feel so warm...

“Maybe one day you'll find out”, she blurted out, her voice as close to a seductive purr as it had ever been. Brienne put all the blame on that damned adorable smirk.

Jaime's eyes widened before he squeezed them shut. “So you're allowed to flirt and I'm not?”

“So it seems.”

“Unfair, wench”, he complained, only to gaze up at her with a heart-stopping smile, “do it more.”

Brienne chortled.

Jaime started swiveling in his chair. “Tell me I'm pretty.”

She laughed again. “I won't feed your blown-up ego, Lannister.”

“Tell me you want me.”

“Goodbye, Jaime.”

He chuckled.

“Have a good day, Brienne. Call me tonight?”

She hung up, smirked at him and left the windows to start her day.

Her heart was feeling much lighter.

 

Somehow, she thought as she booted her laptop, they always found their way back to each other so easily.

 

 


	8. Tell me something I don't know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the last chapter was unacceptably short, please accept this one as compensation. *bows*

“So”, Jaime said as he reached into the mini-bar a few weeks later, pulling out a plate of chocolate brownies Brienne had sent over this morning, “I thought of a game we could play.”

They did that now, sending each other food from _Hot Pie, trying_ to out-spoil each other with Piet's baked goods and fresh made drinks.

“Oh?” Brienne asked, already settled at the small table by the window, drinking her iced tea. She preferred peach to lemon and fruit tarts to heavy chocolatey things. For Jaime, there was no hope. He truly was a chocoholic, especially after a day full of meetings and/or interviews.

Before he continued, he swallowed an entire brownie and drank half of the large ice tea.

“Your day must have been awful”, Brienne observed as she picked up a strawberry from the tart and ate it.

“Meeting with the Dark Lord.”

Brienne almost choked on the fruit in her mouth.

“How the heck do you know about that name?”

Jaime chuckled.

“Pod, who else? Blurted it out as my father passed us in the hallway with his entourage of ass-lickers and PAs. He has three. He really is quite a puppy, isn't he?”

“Who, your father?”

“Pod”, Jaime laughed and placed a napkin in his lap. Then he looked up. “He adores you, though. I think he has a crush on you.”

At that, Brienne laughed. “Jaime Lannister, you are an idiot. Pod is dating Pia.”

“WHAT?!”

“It's been a month, Jaime.” She shook her head. “Lannisters. So self-absorbed.”

Jaime stared at his door, blinking. “Damn that woman. She never tells me anything.”

“Did you ask her?”

“It didn't even occur to me that a shy guy like Podrick Payne would be someone she'd be interested in. She's a headstrong girl, too smart for her own good.”

“Just the right person to keep you in check.”

He chuckled and looked up at her. “Yeah. I would have gone under the first month I've been here. Never tell her that, though, or I'll never hear the end of it. Her smug, 'I'm-cleverer-than-you-smile' haunts my nightmares.”

They share a laugh, then he sighs. “I dread the day she leaves me. But she's too smart to be an assistant. It would be negligent to leave her potential unused, as Father would say.”

“You'll muddle through. You're a clever boy.”

He smirked. “I like it when you compliment me, wench.”

“Don't get used to it.”

He smirked that handsome grin some more, she fake-scowled at him. They took a few more bites of their sweets.

“You were talking about a game”, Brienne reminded him, “and if you suggest anything that involves stripping, I'm hanging up.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, wench. Gods.”

Now she truly scowled. He grinned that boyish grin and scrunched his nose at her.

“Anyway”, he went back on topic. “in the spirit of getting to know each other better – and build that trust so we can finally meet and jump each other's bones – I thought that every day we tell each other one thing the other doesn't know.”

“Personal stuff?”

Jaime snorted. “Yes, wench. That's what getting to know each other means.”

“H-How personal?”

“However personal you feel comfortable with. It doesn't have to be as big as Aerys. It can be small things, like for example how you drink your coffee.”

“Cream, no sugar.”

“Duly noted”, he smiled. “But that wasn't part of the game.”

“Fine. Then tell me how you take yours.”

“Cream, two sugars.”

“You're a sweet guy.”

Jaime hummed and bit his lip. “I am. You should taste me...Sorry. It's compulsory.”

He really got better at the not-flirting and Brienne didn't mind that he slipped now and then. It gave her the bravery to flirt back...sometimes.

“So, are we alternating every day or do both of us get a turn?”

“Either is fine for me. You decide.”

She watched him inhale his third brownie and drink the rest of his ice tea.

“What did your father do to you? Is he still pre-approving your decisions?”

“If you don't mind, I'd rather not waste our time with discussing my father.”

“Maybe I can help.”

“Brienne.”

“I can listen.”

He sighed and let his head fall onto the backrest of his leather chair.

“I even let you use swearwords.”

An involuntary chuckle burst out of him and he turned his face to look at her.

“He wants me to restructure Controlling.”

Brienne blinked, waiting for more input.

“He wants me to fire the entire department. 22 people, Brie.”

Her heart skipped a beat at the pet name.

“Wow.”

“Yeah. People just started to accept me as their boss. The IT guys even do talk to me.” He sighed. “Just when I built some ground, the Dark Lord wants me to destroy it again.”

“Why doesn't he do it? Or the head of HR, for that matter. Isn't that more his or her job?”

“Tyrion already declined. He's half the size of me, but a much bigger man when it comes to standing up to our father.”

Jaime had spoken of his brother a few times. Not much, but just from the way he spoke of him Brienne knew he loved and adored him. However, he hadn't told her he was head of HR.

“Does your entire family work at LBS?”

“Pretty much, yes.”

“Sounds...cozy.”

Jaime chuckled.

“So, Brienne Tarth, CEO of Tarth Digital, what is your advice?”

Brienne took a moment contemplate.

“Do you think Controlling has to be restructured?”

“No. It's just Father's way to deal with the entire Stannis situation. He's still blowing off steam and thinks if he restructures the entire firm, none of that can happen again.”

“That...sounds pretty stupid. Strategically speaking. Even though you improved your reputation by re-building your IT-structure and giving all these charming interviews,” Jaime smirked at her, “it's still shaken. Your priority has to be to rebuild the trust of your stockholders. I don't think randomly firing and hiring people is going to do the trick. Reporters are still circling your tower like vultures. Even though neither of you are probably aware, the Lannisters are not very popular in KL...or the rest of Westeros. Your father is a frightening man and what he built is impressive, but people still remember how he did it.”

 

She didn't need to elaborate. A finance magazine had actually composed a poem about how Tywin Lannister had destroyed his competitor Robert Reyne in the most vicious take-over in the history of Westeros, which had been re-printed often lately. The Dark Lord had been ruthless, had not stopped until even the private fortune of House Reyne had been his. It had all ended with the suicide of Robert Reyne. A tragedy.

 

“So the media – and probably every business in KL - is just waiting for an opportunity to see the proud old lion go down and they will pay good money to interview anyone you fire. And I don't think the reports of randomly fired employees will be in your favor. You're the face of LBS now, Jaime. You made people like you. They see the pride that all Lannisters share, but they also see hope when they look at the young lion. You are more self-aware than your father. You admitted bad decisions, you took actions and you protected your employees when the Dark Lord wanted to bite their heads off.”

 

Jaime sat frozen to the spot, staring up at her with parted lips.

 

“You have to be strong now, Jaime. Keep going. You're on the right path. Protect the people in your employ. They need you to be their shield. This is your chance to build trust and loyalty. _That's_ what LBS needs right now. You have to stand together. If LBS is one unified stronghold, the media will have a hard time trying to burn it to the ground.”

 

Brienne let out a breath.

 

“At least that's what I would do”, she finished, getting more uncomfortable the longer Jaime was staring at her with that odd expression.

“That was one hell of a speech, wench.”

“Sorry.”

“Are you kidding?!” He rose. “Brienne...that was awesome. Simply awesome.” He shook his head, giving her a look that made her skin tingle.

“Gods, I want to kiss you so bad right now.”

The tone of his voice set her cheeks aflame.

“Thank you, Brienne. Really. Thank you.”

“Stop it.”

“Where did you learn all that?”

“My father. He's the wisest man I know.”

“Maybe I should hire him as my adviser.”

“He's retired.”

“For enough money -”

“Not everyone cares about money.”

“Everyone can be bought.”

Brienne frowned. “Do you really believe that?”

“Yes.”

She looked at him. “Don't you know one upright person, Lannister?”

He smiled then, for a long moment just looking at her. “Just the one.”

It took her a second. Then she blushed even more and lowered her gaze.

“You're awesome.”

“Please stop, Jaime.”

“Sorry. I'm trying.”

“I'll hang up.”

“You're one hard woman to please, Brienne Tarth.”

She shifted in her seat, feeling his eyes on her. Quick, she thought, change the topic. He did it first, though.

“Tell me something about you I don't know.”

Her eyes flew up. A second later, she smiled at him gratefully.

She gnawed on her lip, trying to think of something. At first there was nothing, then her brain was full of things he didn't know.

“I won the Tarth swimming championship ten years in a row.”

“What?!”  
She straightened in her chair.

“I hold the record of the most won competitions on the island since recording.”

“Sexy.”

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes.

“It is! How could it not be?”

“It's just a small island. It's nothing special.”

Jaime frowned at that and sat back down in his chair.   
“You really have to stop doing that, Brienne.”  
“What?”  
“Talking yourself down. Diminishing your accomplishments. You're proud of holding this record and you damn well should. It is impressive. You're clever, you built a company, you're a legend on Tarth. These are good things. Things that should make you hold your head up high, not shrink into yourself.”

“You're sounding like Oberyn.”

 

That made Jaime pause.

 

“Martell?”

“Yes.”

“The prince of fucking Dorne Martell?”

Brienne chuckled. “He mentioned you don't get along.”

“How do you even know that viper?”

“I told you I sold our products to Dornish companies. During your first three months here I toured the kingdom with him. You know every business from outside of Dorne has to be approved by the royal family.”

“Yeah, I just didn't think Martell would do it himself.”

“Well, he did in my case.”

Jaime grabbed the last brownie and shoved it into his mouth. Since he was chewing with cheeks blown up like a hamster, Brienne seized the opportunity.

“Since we're talking about him, I wanted to ask you something: He wants to buy 49% of Tarth Digital. The offer he made is more than fantastic, I'd be a fool not to take it. But I've never had a partner before and while I liked working with him in Dorne, I'm hesitating to accept. I know he believes in me, in the company, and I learned a lot from him in those three months, but I'm afraid he'll try to change things around here. So I was wondering if you've ever worked with him before. I saw that Dorne has shares in some subsidiaries of _LBS_ and thought you might be able to give me some insights.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the line, even after Jaime had swallowed. Instead of looking at her he was staring at his screen.

“Jaime?”

Nothing.

“Did you have a stroke, old man? Do I have to call emergency?”

He lowered his gaze.

“You know he is a womanizer, don't you?”

“What?! Oberyn Martell, Prince of Dorne, a womanizer?! I had no idea!”

A snort echoed through the line. But he didn't say anything.

“I will include a clause in the contract that forbids him to sleep with any employee”, she joked, tried to make him smile. His lips didn't even twitch from what she could see. His hands were fumbling with the plastic cup.

“He's a good guy, Jaime.”

He snorted again. “He's a cunning, arrogant bastard who puts his own interests before everything else.”

“Hm...sounds like someone I know.”

“I'm nothing like Martell.”

The seriousness in his tone made her pause.

“I was kidding.”

He sighed and drank. She heard the slurping noise when he had reached the bottom.

“What's wrong?”

When he still wouldn't answer her, it was her who was sighing.

“Never mind, then. I've already talked to Olenna Tyrell and she gave a positive report about the Martells...Tell me something about you I don't know.”

Topic change. Obviously, that was for the best right now.

She watched him frozen in his chair.

“I'm jealous”, he stated then. It made her heart do a little flip.

“What, of Oberyn?”

“Yes,” he sighed, “I know I have no right to be, but damn it, I don't want him sniffing around you like the lecherous dog he is. I don't want him to be in the same room with you...whilst I'm not allowed to be.”

He brushed a hand through his full hair. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I don't want to ruin yet another phone call. Forget I said anything.”

Brienne blinked. Her mouth was dry. Now Jaime did look up.

“Don't be mad. I know I'm out of line here. We're not a couple. I'm aware of that, believe me. We're not even...exclusive phone buddies, if that's a thing.” He tried a smile and a chuckle. “If you want to, with Martell, of course you can. You're a single woman, so you should if you want to. Not that you need my permission...sorry, I'm an asshole.”

He sighed again, shaking his head at himself.

 

She bit her lip. Right now, she was feeling all warm inside. Jaime was jealous. A man as sweet and sexy as him was feeling insecure, was afraid that another man would take her away from him.

It was oddly charming and deep down, she was insanely happy he was jealous, which was ridiculous and all kinds of anti-feminist, probably, but it was how it was.

“I have been with Oberyn for three months and nothing happened, Jaime.”

“Not for the lack of him trying, I'm sure.”

That he thought Oberyn would be attracted to her was flattering.

“He's the prince of fucking Dorne”, she repeated, “he can have anyone. What would he do with me?”

“Don't even start, Brienne”, Jaime growled.

“I'm serious.”

“So am I. Martell is always on the hunt for beauty, but he's also on the hunt for uniqueness. And I can't think of anyone more unique than you. He must be blind and deaf not to want you.”

Brienne blinked. “I don't know whether to feel offended or flattered.”

He snorted, ran his fingers through his hair and sighed again.

“Professionally speaking, as far as I know there have been no problems with the Martells. They are favorable and reasonable business partners.”

“That was very grown up of you to say”, she couldn't help but smile.

“I want to throw up”, Jaime joked back, smiling up at her.

Maiden, he was so sweet sometimes. And always handsome.

“Gods, I want to kiss you so bad right now”, she whispered, her heart drumming in her throat and her blood rushing in her ears. It had taken her some bravery to say this, but the look on his face was so worth it. She giggled like a teenage girl.

“One of these days you _will_ drive me mad, wench”, Jaime complained.

Not knowing what to reply, she chose to reassure him.

“I'm not interested in Oberyn.” She bit her lip, her heart skipped a beat. “I'm interested in someone else.”

“Really?”

The hope in his voice made her smile.

“Even someone as thick as you should have realized that by now, old man.”

“Careful, wench. That's no way to talk to the elderly.”

She laughed. He beamed at her.

“Tell me I'm pretty”, he said sweetly, tilting his head to the side.

Brienne rolled her eyes. “You _are_ pretty. You know that. All of Westeros knows it.”

“I don't care about Westeros. I care about you.”

It felt like her heart was short from jumping out of her chest.

“Really?” she whispered.

He nodded. “Very much.”

Boy, his voice would make her melt into a puddle of feelings one of these days.

“I care about you, too”, she admitted. Of course her voice wasn't spoken silk, but he smiled at her, anyway.

  
They kept looking at each other like a couple of fools.

 

Brienne bit her lip. “Jaime…what exactly are exclusive phone buddies?”

Her cheeks warmed and her skin tingled from the way he was looking at her now; hungrily, longingly.

“Well,” he cleared his throat, “it’s two people who have never met in person, separated by oceans, country borders, war zones…or are trapped in two different towers. But they call each other on a regular basis. Eventually, these two people feel comfortable with each other, they look forward to hearing their voices. For some it’s not a good day if they haven’t spoken to their phone buddy.”

Brienne couldn’t help the little giggle. The term was ridiculous.

“As time passes, they grow very fond of each other. And one or both will want some…reassurance that the other’s affections are not given elsewhere, so they might propose to keep their phone relationship…monogamous.”

“So they only can call each other? Sounds very impractical”, Brienne countered with a serious expression.

Jaime tilted his head at her, giving her a scolding look. “Of course they can use the phone to call other people, wench...But not in the same way.”

“In what way?” she challenged, being sure he’d chicken out.

He surprised her when he looked at her with a dead serious expression: “In the romantic way.”

 

_Love_

 

Brienne took a deep breath. Her skin tingled, on her cheek, her throat, her hands, missing his touch as if it knew it.

“Would this only be limited to phone calls or…would they still spend time with other people…romantically?”

Gods, she was babbling like a five-year-old. Her throat felt dry. The stacks were rising, she knew that, knew it wasn’t wise to keep going on this strange path of phone calls, confessions and sweet nothings, but -

“Well, I think each pair of phone buddies set their own rules, but if it was me...hypothetically…no. No dating other people. Just the two of us-I mean them. Them.”

  
There it was again: Hope, fluttering around in her belly. And wonder that a man like him would even consider this form of a relationship.

 

Gods, a relationship! It would be one, wouldn’t it? She would enter a relationship with a man she had never touched, never kissed. Foolish! Insane!

 

…On the other hand, so would he…

 

“But wouldn’t you want…Jaime, I still need time. I…this is so new, it feels so overwhelming sometimes -“

“I don’t mind”, he interrupted her, standing right in front of the full-length window, the tips of his fingers touching the glass and she wished they would touch her face, “I don’t mind to wait. As long as we talk, I will wait as long as you need.”

  
Sudden tears sprung to her eyes.

  
“Gods, Jaime. That’s exactly what I mean. This…you can’t say something so wonderful as if it means nothing! It scares the seven hells out of me!”  
“Why?!”

“Because it can’t be real. No one waits anymore, especially in this case. It’s ‘fuck me now or fuck off’. You’re gorgeous, you could have anyone you want! Why are you wasting your time with me?! It’s just some stupid phone calls!”

Exhaling loudly, Brienne bent over and buried her hands in her hair, squeezing her eyes shut. It was just too much. It couldn't be more than a dream. Men like Jaime Lannister would never in their right minds want an ugly woman like her. It was the simple truth! So it wasn't fair that he said all these things, that he made her want to be proven wrong, that she dared to hope that maybe Jaime was the exception to the rule, that he could be attracted to her, that he might fall in love with her.

 

Jaime called her name, once, twice, but she didn't dare to look up. One more look at his face, however far away it was, and she would cry for all these foolish romantic dreams she was still trying to fight.

 

“I understand that you're scared”, he said when she still wouldn't look at him. “If it's too soon for you, if you don't want anything serious between us, that's fine. If you have doubts, then _I_ don't want to go further. _If_ we do this, I want you to go all in. No holding back. Hearts open and bare. You need trust for that, and if you don't trust me, then we should keep things casual.”

“I want to trust you. I'm trying”, she whispered.

“Have I done anything that makes you doubt my sincerity?”

She took a deep breath. “No. It's not you personally, Jaime. It's your looks and mine. You're so far out of my league we're not even playing the same sport. I just don't see how this can work. I'd be insanely insecure and jealous all the time. I'd constantly be afraid to lose you. It would make me miserable.”

“I'm not a cheater, Brienne. I'd never do that to you.”

“You say that now, but once you've seen me, you'll change your mind.”

“I _am_ seeing you”, he replied, his voice dead serious now. “I've seen pics online. You're not beautiful. I don't give a damn. I had beautiful, and she tore me apart. Beauty is irrelevant. As cheesy as it sounds, the inside is what matters. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in my life. And in this regard, you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen.”

  
Brienne's chin wobbled. The tears were really trying to get out now. She pressed her palms against her eyes.

  
“If you knew what I've been through, you wouldn't find it so surprising that I want you. You're the first person who's been genuinely kind to me without trying to get something in return. You're clever and headstrong. Even if the latter is a pain in my ass right now, I like that, too. It just reassures me that once you do choose me, you'll be as faithful and devoted as me.”

 

_Choose him..._

_Faithful and devoted..._

 

Gods, how wonderful it would be to be loved by him. To have him call her sweetling and love, to wake up and fall asleep with him, to build a life together, a family...

“Jaime...” she sighed, lost in dreams which had seemed out of her reach her entire life.

“I've only ever been with one woman”, he told her gently, “loved her from a very young age for a very long time...until a few years ago, actually. I'm a one woman man, Brienne. And...and I want to be yours.”  
  


A violent shudder burst in her chest.   
  
His voice was inside her, whispering to every ugly cell in her body, making it feel wanted and if not beautiful, it made her feel pretty.

“It's just been some stupid phone calls”, she whispered helplessly.

  
It was wrong how good it felt to speak to him, how addictive it was to hear his voice, how much her thoughts already evolved around him.

  
“Brienne, I know you're frightened, but stop saying that. These 'stupid' phone calls are the highlights of my day. You are the best thing in my life at the moment. It might mean nothing to you, but it does mean everything to me.”

  
The way he spoke, sounding so hurt, finally made her look up.

  
“It means something. Of course it does. This is was scares me so. Don't you feel that's it's too intense too soon? We're just talking, Jaime. We haven't been on dates or anything...more serious.”

“I've told you things I've never told anyone. You helped me through a crisis. You practically saved my job. You make me happy. What's not serious about that? We had dinner together many times. Sure, it's unusual to sit in separate offices on different sides of the street, but who the heck cares? Isn't that one of the perks of the digital age? People fall in love online every day without having met at all. So don't state this as your reason to keep your distance. What scares you are your own insecurities.”

“I don't deny it. No one's ever been interested in me before. Ever! And now you, the most gorgeous man in Westeros...it just doesn't make any sense!”

“What do you want me to do? Take the letter opener and slash up my face? Would that make you believe my intentions?”  
“Don't be stupid.”

“Then just admit to yourself that you want me, you foolish woman.”

“I want you!” she shouted. “Of course I want you, Jaime! I want you so much! I think of you almost constantly! I wonder how your day is going, what I should order from _Hot Pie_ to cheer you up, if you think about me, too. I wonder what it would feel like...to be with you, in your arms, in your bed. Of course I think about that. I hate and love it. It scares me because it feels so good, too good. It won't last. My life's just not like that. I've felt like that once and when I realized it wasn't real-” the memories stole her breath. After all these years the mere echo of the pain she had felt was still horrible, “it hurt so much, Jaime. I don't want to feel that ever again.”

“I'm not like those assholes, Brienne. I'm not like any of them. I care about you, I want you. I feel exactly like you. You are my first thought when I wake up and the last before I fall asleep. I dream of you almost every night. Nowadays I like coming into the office because you are there across the street. All day I endure tiresome meetings so I can speak to you in the evening, to share these lovely moments, to have dinner with you. It's the best part of my entire day and I love it.”  
  


With tears brimming in her eyes she looked at him, yearning to be in his arms, to smell him, to feel his lips gently press against hers.

  
“Are you saying you're falling in love with me?” she whispered, hoping against hope, hoping even though she knew better than to trust sweet spoken words.

There was something in his voice that called out to her very soul, begging her to trust him, to give him a chance. And even though her heart was bruised and battered, it wanted to believe so bad.

 

A heart has no sense of self-preservation. It just wants to love and be loved in return.

 

Could Jaime see past her ugly exterior? Could he actually love her for who she was rather than what she looked like?  
  


“Yes.”

 

Her heartbeat stuttered.

 

“I'm falling in love with you, Brienne.”

She heard him swallow, saw his wide eyes, his flexing jaw. But he didn't look away, let her see his longing as well as his fear...

  
Fear?

 

Brienne frowned. Yes, that's what she saw in his face, had heard in his shaking voice and it made her realize that he was scared to have his heart broken, as well.

Somehow, this revelation was...calming. It even mad her smile.

 

“Jaime?” Her voice was soft, her heart beating fast.

“Yes?”  
  


A leap of faith. Just one more try to have something real. He was worth risking whatever remained of her heart.

  
“Would you be my exclusive phone buddy?”

Jaime's eyes widened. He swallowed, frowned, smiled, only to smooth out his facial expression again. His hands clenched and relaxed.

“All in?” he asked, trying to keep his voice even and failing.

Her heart skipped a beat. Warmth spread in her chest.

“All in”, she nodded.

Now a smile bloomed on his face. It was blinding.

“Exclusive phone buddies it is, then.”

A silent moment of inner jubilation, of a burst of pure happiness tinged with fear, then laughter burst out of Brienne.

“Gods, we're sounding like a couple of teenagers. The term is ridiculous.”

“Hey, don't mock my creativity, wench! I think the EPB is excellent.”

She laughed some more. “If we would be still at school I'd probably would have slipped you a piece of paper with a multiple choice.”

“Oh, you mean one of those 'do you want to be my boyfriend choose yes, no, or maybe' notes?”

“Yep.”

“Do kids still do that these days?”

“Probably not.”

Jaime nodded in agreement, biting his bottom lip, grinning in a way that made her wonder how he had looked as a teen.

She asked him that.

“I'll send you a picture if you give me your cell phone number.”

“Well, as my EBP”, this sounded much better than 'exclusive phone buddy', “I think you must have it. Isn't that one of the rules?”

“There are no rules in love, sweetling.”

Brienne's heart did a little flip in her chest and she blushed. Needing to look away from him so her heart wouldn't melt she reached for her laptop and sent him a quick e-mail with her cell.

She could hear the ding that signaled the reception on the other end of the line.

Jaime beamed up at her before he sat down at his desk to open her e-mail. Brienne watched him pull out his smart phone. A golden Varys, the newest model. Just as she wanted to be impressed, she watched him tap the screen here and there, obviously struggling. She burst out into another laugh.

“You have no idea how to put a contact in, do you?”

Jaime let out a frustrated growl.

“I told Pia not to order anything too complicated. Obviously, she ignored me and did it, anyway.”

“Have you ever used it?”

“Of course”, he snapped, tapping so hard on the high-end device she could hear it, “I get calls all the time.”

“Did _you_ ever call someone on it?”

“...Shut up”, he growled. It made her laugh.

“Send me your number”, she chuckled, shaking her head.

“I'm not old”, he snarled as he punched his number into an e-mail and sent it to her.

“I didn't say anything!”

“I know what you're thinking, wench.”

She chortled and stood up to get her own mobile out of her leather bag, standing as she read the number off the screen of her laptop and putting it into her phone.

“The one time I want to go easy on you, old man”, she joked and called him, letting it ring only once before she hung up again. Then she had great fun explaining how to save the number on his screen into his contacts _very_ slowly.

“See, it's not that difficult. Technology is not that scary, sir.”

Without looking at her, he gave her the finger whilst tapping on his phone.

“For that I'll simply save your contact as 'Wench', for I know how much you like the pet name.”

“Fine, then I'll save you as 'Old Man'.”

Jaime glared, Brienne laughed.

“When the day comes and I'll finally have you under me, wench, I'll prove to you over and over that I'm still young enough to wear you out.”

A pleasant tremble ran down her spine.

“Will that be before or after your afternoon nap?”

Once again, she was met with the sight of his middle finger. She laughed, enjoying to tease him way too much.

“Jaime?”

“No.”

She laughed again.

“Sweetling?”

Whether it was the term of endearment or the tone of her voice, she didn't know, but he was looking up at her now.

“I can't wait...for you to prove it...”

Her cheeks were burning, but once again the look on his face made her attempt at flirting totally worth it.

“Neither can I, my love.”

A shiver exploded in her chest and ran down her front, hardening her nipples within a second.   
  
How the heck did he always manage to do that?!

  
They gazed at each other for a long moment and once again Brienne felt the ghost of his fingers and lips on her mouth, her throat, her nipples, her spine, her belly button, even the hollows of her knees and it made her tremble with desire.

 

Boy, did she want to cuddle him right now. Sometimes she felt such a need to be in his arms. In these moments she _knew_ what it felt like, for a fleeting second she knew exactly what it would feel like to be in his arms.

 

Brienne sighed, commanding her stupid heart to give it a rest.

“What?” Jaime inquired.

Brienne shook her head and smiled. “I think it's time to go home.”

“Already?” He sounded sad.

“Aren't you tired?”

“No.”

“I'm exhausted”, Brienne admitted, “I don't like talking about feelings.”

“You don't say.”

“Goodnight, Jaime.”

“Goodnight, sweetling.”

She paused, blushed and smiled at him.

“Night”, she whispered shyly, at which he bit his lip and smirked at her.

 

Gah, why did he have to be so effing handsome?!

 

They hung up and gathered their things. With her leather bag on her shoulder and her light jacket draped over her arm, she went to the window. Jaime was waiting by the door, briefcase in hand, and looked up at her with a smile.

 

Brienne waved. He blew her a kiss. Even that looked cool on him.

Suppressing a girlish sigh she turned around with a parting smile, going home.  


 

Four hours later, just as she was falling asleep, she received a message. Living up to his promise Jaime had sent her a picture of himself in his teenage years, wearing bluejeans, a _Lannisport Rangers_ shirt and the coolest smirk anyone ever managed. His golden mane was falling down to his shoulders and he stood in front of a motorbike. It was so cliché, but dear Maiden, she just knew teenage Brienne would have obsessed with the handsome young lion. Of course she would never tell him that!

Below the pic was a message from him.

 

_Took me about half an hour to send you this. I hate this phone. I'M NOT OLD!!!_

 

Brienne chortled and started typing.

 

**Yes, you are. But I don't mind your age as much as I mind this pic. Could it be more _Rich White Boy_?!**

 

_Well, I was a rich white boy, so what's your point?_

 

Brienne chortled.

 

**The bike's cool, though.**

 

_I still have it. I restored old bikes as a hobby as a RWB. I even restored an_ Oathkeeper _._

 

**WHAT?! Alright, THAT is cool! They only built like 1,500 before the war!**

 

_You know bikes?! Wench! Just when I thought I couldn't fall any harder for you!_

 

**I didn't restore any, but my Dad loves them. He had an old Arakh and about a gazillion subscriptions for bike magazines, which I read on occasion. I have a** _**Dark Sister** _ **at home on Tarth.**

 

_That settles it. You're perfect for me._

 

**Goodnight, Jaime.**

 

_STILL not allowed to flirt? Come on!_

 

Brienne didn't reply. She might have kissed the screen of her mobile, though. Here, alone in her bed, in the dark, she allowed herself this silliness.

 


	9. Scars mermaids wear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The humiliation of a teenage girl aka what happened with Hyle

Exchanging phone numbers opened up a new dimension of intimacy for Brienne and Jaime. Every day now she woke up to a text from him. They started texting during the day when either of them was bored or had some free time on their hands. Sometimes it were just emojis...

  
_See how much better I get at technology, wench?_

  
**Congrats, old man, you found the emojis. I'm proud of you.**

  
_I think I like texting more than calling you. In text, I can ignore the irony of your words so much better! ...No, that's not true. I prefer calling. I love your voice, even those snarky, ironic tones. Can't wait to hear you tonight, sweetling._  
  
...sometimes some short conversations about what they were doing and what they should eat for dinner.

  
Brienne had never been paid so much attention before. At first, it was a bit overwhelming. But Jaime was so sweet that she got used to it very quickly – and addicted even quicker. Soon she needed regular Jaime-fixes to get through the day. Her thoughts evolved mostly around him by now. During meetings she lost herself in daydreams of him, of them making love. In her mind he always took her slowly, gently, his skin hot against hers, his chest hair scratching her nipples as he pushed inside her again and again, so deep, stretching her so far, all the while kissing her, always kissing her.

 

Gods, she dreamed of his kiss, effing longed for it. His mouth, oh she loved his mouth. At night, in her bed, after they texted goodnight, she stared at pictures of him and zoomed in on his mouth, those thin lips looking so very soft and kissable. And when she was stroking herself, imagining that mouth all over her body, she zoomed in on his eyes, staring at them as her climax approached and finally hit. Always, always did she moan and pant his name, because there was only him on her mind and in her heart.

 

  
Brienne was happy. She felt cherished, wanted and dare she say it, loved. Wonderful weeks passed in which it did feel like she was a girlfriend. Admittedly, the _EPB-thing_ was a silly situation, but it gave her so much confidence.

The scarred girl inside her warned her, knowing the danger of sweet spoken words all too well, but Jaime wasn't like that. There was no bet, she reminded herself. There was nothing for him to gain from manipulating her. When he flirted, when he wrote of his longing and desire...

 

_Sometimes, like right now, I miss you in my bed. I turn around and am about to reach out for you, as if you've ever been in here with me, before I remember that you haven't. Maybe because I dream it so often. Maybe because I want it so much. Do you like to cuddle? I'm a cuddler. Especially after climax. Just a warning :)_

 

...she knew in her heart that he meant it.

 

Jaime was special. Unbelievably kind and patient with her, clever and funny. She could actually talk to him, really talk, about anything. During these weeks they found many more similarities and Jaime enthusiastically began making dating plans.

One evening after work, as they were finishing off they Hot Pie treats, Jaime suggested an exhibit.

 

“Remember the discussion about the era before the Last Night a few days ago?”

Brienne narrowed her eyes.

“No, I remember a vicious argument whether or not the last Azor Ahai was male or female.”

Jaime smirked up at her. “Vicious is a tad harsh, wouldn't you say?”

“No.”

He laughed. “You're a sore loser, wench.”

When Brienne sucked in a breath of air, Jaime laughed again.

“I apologize, I apologize”, came his hasty chuckle before the argument could re-start.”Anyway, what I wanted to say was, there is an exhibit coming to KL and Dr. Tarly will hold several panels with discussions and apparently, will reveal new discoveries about the Eve of the Last Night. It all sounds very dramatic and right up our ally.”

“I don't really like large crowds.”

“Neither do I. Lucky for you, though, you wouldn't need to swim with the common fish. One of the perks of being Jaime Lannister's _Exclusive Phone Buddy_ is that you get a taste of a rich white boy's life. _LBS_ got offered a few VIP tickets. No crowds, no waiting. _And_ a Q&A with Dr. Tarly.”

“I have to say, I'm surprised that _anyone_ still offers you anything after the scandal. Is that your influence?”

“No. Our family funds the research. For generations, I believe.”

“Why?”

“To prove that Azor Ahai was a Lannister, of course. Our house is that old, in case you didn't know.”

“Don't start again, Lannister, or I'll come over there and kick your ass back to that era so you can see for yourself that the last Azor Ahai was a Targaryen!”

Brienne wasn't even aware of what she had said. It needed Jaime's heated gaze to make her realize.

“I've never been this tempted to anger you, wench.”

She smiled and blushed and longed. “I've never been this tempted to let you, old man.”

Jaime sighed into the speaker and closed his eyes. Hers drifted shut, as well, and for a moment they were in each other's arms, holding, kissing, feeling.

Another sigh and they returned to reality.

“So, what do you say, wench? Shall I get those tickets?”

“What's the date?”

That's when Jaime paused, just a moment. His eyes drifted to the screen before he told her.

Brienne's heart skipped a beat. “That's...That's over a year from now”, she said meekly.

Jaime's eyes returned to her.

“Yes, wench, it is.”

They looked at each other for a long moment. Warmth bloomed in Brienne's chest, that stupid hope and those stupider dreams of being his lover, his wife, his family, raising their ugly heads.

“Does that scare you?” he challenged her.

 

Hells yes, it did.

 

It scared her that he had that much faith in this mental form of a relationship. It scared her that his faith made her so fucking happy, so hopeful. She had trained herself to fear nothing more than hope.

Just as her training wanted to kick in and make her decline, Jaime's sigh went from her ears straight into her heart. Her summer sky eyes looked up and saw him watching his fingers twirling a pen around.

“It's fine, wench.” There was a sad, oh so sad smile on his lips. It pierced her soul.

“No!” she hastened to interrupt him. “No, I...yes. Get the tickets. We'll go. I'll be happy to go with you...th-thank you for asking.”

Crone have mercy, she really was a babbling idiot sometimes.

But it made him look at her with his soft eyes and that's all that mattered.

“Are you sure, Brienne?”

She nodded and smiled. “I am.”

Her heart was drumming in her chest, but she refused to panic or worry. She would not let this future date drive her crazy. It wasn't that big a deal. If anything, it was one more proof that Jaime wanted this relationship...that he wanted her.

“Tell me something about you I don't know”, she asked softly, wishing to be sitting in his lap with his arms around her.

For a moment Jaime looked at her with that warm little smile on his face, then he took a breath.

 

“I love to cook.”

Brienne burst into a laugh. “What?!”

“What?! I love cooking.”

She laughed again.

“What the seven hells is so funny about that, wench?!”  
She shook her head and waved. “Dunno.” She was still laughing.

“Stop it!”

She tried and failed. Jaime growled his Lannister lion growl at her.

“I'm sorry...give me a second...”

He did. After she'd finally calmed down, Jaime glared at up at her.

“Now will you explain to me why my revelation made you laugh so hard you almost peed yourself?”

“I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. It's just...not in a million years would I have pictured you standing at the stove. As you said it, a picture of you wearing one of those 'kiss the chef' aprons over your thousand dragon suit popped up in my head and well...it was too much.”

“I don't cook in my suit, wench.” Great. Now Brienne imagined him in _only_ the apron. “I have other clothes. And I don't wear a sodding apron.”

“I can't control my imagination, old man. I didn't mean to insult you.”

Jaime leaned back and tilted his head. “If you think about me at home – and don't pretend you're not doing it – do you really imagine me wearing a suit all the time?”  
“No”, Brienne scowled and crossed her arms in front of her chest, “you're not wearing the jacket, of course. Only the shirt and pants.”

“Oh well, that's much better then.”

“Shut up, Jaime.”

“Your lack of imagination is schocking, wench.”

She was this close to tell him about the image of him in just the apron.

“Yeah, well, what do you think I wear at home?”

Just as the words were out of her mouth she realized the massive opening she had given him. As expected, a very, very naughty smirk grew on his face.

“Well-”

“Oh, shut up. You're lecherous.”

“You bring it out in me, sweetling.”

“Don't sweetling me, old man.”

He opened his mouth to protest when suddenly, he paused.

“Oh, you clever wench. You did it again.”

“Did what?”

He straightened in his seat.

“You turned it around it. Every time you say something that upsets me, you turn it around so by the end of it, you're the one upset and I apologize to you!”

“What?! I don't do that!”

“Yes, you do! You wicked wench!”

“Jaime!”

“You're still doing it! You laughed at me and instead of apologizing now you're mad with me!”

Brienne wanted to protest, but their conversations rushed through her mind, first this one, then many others.

“Seven hells”, she exclaimed as she saw the truth in his words. “You're right. I really do that.”

Brienne slumbed down in her chair, analyzing every argument she ever had with anybody.

After a minute or two, Jaime's voice in her ear interrupted her train of thought.

“Brie?”

She looked up, blinking tears of shame away.

“Jaime...”, she whispered, confused and sick of herself, “I...I just do it with you.”

She shot out of her chair, pacing the floor, rubbing her stomach. She felt like throwing up.

“Brienne, calm down. It's not that big a deal.”

“It is! What if I'm one of those women who try to manipulate their boyfriends all the time?! What if I'll do this every time we fight? Gods!”

She brushed her hands through her hair. “I don't want to be this sort of woman! I don't want to make my man miserable so I can win the argument! That's disgusting! I told you! I told you I can't do this! I can't do relationships! I don't know what the hell I'm doing!”

“Brienne.”

Through the fog of panic and self-loathing, Jaime's calm voice reached her mind and heart. She stopped pacing and looked at him, her hands still pressed on her belly.

“I want you to take a deep breath, sit down in your chair and calm the fuck down.”

There was something so soothing in his low, authoritative tone. Before she knew she was following his instructions.

“Are you calm?”

“No. Jaime, I don't want to hurt you.”

Tears filled her eyes and she heard him swallow at the other end of the line. She couldn't be sure from here, but his eyes seemed to shine with unshed tears, as well.

“Then don't”, he said softly, just the slightest shake in his voice.

She wanted to hug and kiss him, smell and feel him on her bare skin until all of their fears were forgotten.

 

Never, never would she consciously hurt this wonderful man. After all these weeks of getting to know each other, of getting so close, she knew that the heart beneath his handsome, arrogant shell was just as tender as her own.

“I'm so sorry, Jaime. I swear I don't do it intentionally.”

“I know, sweetling. I know you don't. I'm not mad.”

Brienne let out a breath. Her shoulders relaxed.

“I don't know why I do it”, she admitted, shaking her head at herself.

“Sometimes sorry is the hardest word.”

“Isn't that a song?”

Jaime chuckled. “Something like that, yeah.”

Brienne shook her head again. “It worries me. That I do this. For the smallest things. I am sorry that I laughed at you, I really am. See? It's not that difficult. Usually I don't have a problem being in the wrong. I admit mistakes, I apologize for them. You can ask anyone. I'm not vicious, Jaime. I don't manipulate people to get what I want.”

“Brienne, I know. I know. I've been with such a woman. Now I can smell them a mile off. Believe me when I tell you that you're not one of them. Not at all.”

“But...I did it.”

Jaime shook his head. “It's not the same. I think it's just self-defence in your case. You're scared to appear weak in front of me.”

They held their gazes for a few heartbeats. Despite what he had said, Brienne was still afraid that he thought her to be such a woman. So, gathering her inner strength, she opened her heart to him even more.

“I _am_ weak when it comes to you”, she confessed, her cheeks filling with warmth when his lips parted. “I try so hard to keep a cool head, to be reasonable, to take it slow, to give you time to come to your senses,” she half-smiled, “but all I really want is for you to take me into your arms and never let me go.”

She could hear his breathing through the line, saw his chin wobble.

“I won't”, he whispered then, his voice making her shiver all over, “Once you're in my arms I will never let you go, Brienne. I will hold you. Kiss you everywhere. Every inch of your body, every freckle on your skin I will kiss, sweetling, until all your fears are forgotten, all those bad memories chased away. I'll show you what it's like to be loved. I will love you so good, Brienne. No one will ever love you like I will.”

 

“Come over.”

 

It had burst out of her, straight from her heart. His words were still ringing in her ears, those heavenly words. Right now she felt the full force of the truth of them. No one. No one would ever love her like he would. She didn't want anyone else but him. They belonged to each other. Why weren't they together already? Why wasn't he here? She wanted to touch him, to finally kiss this beautiful mouth that was hers.

 

Brienne squirmed in her seat.

 

Why was he still standing by the window? Why wasn't he running to her, into her arms, where he belonged?

 

“Brienne.”

“Jaime.”

He rose from his chair, pressed his fingers against the glass, his forehead next, closing his eyes as if in pain.

“I want nothing more. Nothing more. My heart, my love.”

He looked up at her, his eyes like wildfire.

“Ask me again and I will. If you're sure, if you're ready, ask me again.”

 

Ready.

 

Ready...

 

Hyle had asked her the same. 'Are you ready, Bri?' he had whispered, lying on top of her in a stranger's bed, loud music playing right outside the door, jeans shoved down his ass, hers dangling from her ankle, holding his condom-clad cock in hand. He had smiled so sweetly, his lips swollen from kissing her. And she had nodded, feeling so happy that finally, finally someone loved her, that someone wanted her, that she wasn't the ugly beast she had always felt like...

 

Brienne felt sick as the memories came rushing back, the shame of letting that pig fuck her, the humiliation that followed after it was done and he opened the door, countless faces laughing at her...

 

She pressed a hand over her mouth, trying so hard to see Jaime, just Jaime, this wonderful, sweet man. But all she could see was Hyle and all those other guys staring and laughing.

 

_Don't trust men. Never trust a man. Never lose your heart to sweet spoken words. They're pigs, all of them. All of them!_

 

The longing in her heart was replaced with this year-old anger and pain and she simply couldn't. She couldn't take this last step. If Jaime turned out to be one of them, if she had fallen for sweet words again, if he would come, take one look at her and change his mind...

 

She wouldn't survive it a second time.

 

So she remained silent and the warm air around her dissolved into cold fear and disappointment. Brienne had her arms wrapped around herself, was staring at the carpet, remembering the tears of her teenage running down her cheeks.

 

“What has been done to you?” Jaime whispered, pulling her half out of her dark memories, his voice shaking. “What did that asshole do to you, Brienne?”

When she remained silent, she heard him gulp.

“Did he rape you?”

 

Brienne saw Hyle behind her eyes, saw him smiling and heard him moaning on top of her, felt his cock push inside her again and again. It had felt so good. Not the defloration, but after that it had felt so good. She had been so happy, so wanton. She had kissed him, had given him all of her, her body, her heart, her soul.

 

“No”, she answered, not looking up, “sometimes I think it would have been easier to bear if he had raped me. But I wanted it. I wanted _him_. More than anything. I was happy, so happy. For those few minutes I felt like a girl, a woman. I felt beautiful. I was grateful.” She snorted at her own silliness.

“We did it at a party. On a bed full of coats, music and people right outside the door. We didn't even undress properly. We were too impatient...I was...I wanted him so bad...he made me feel so good...”

Brienne pressed her lips together to not burst into tears. She had cried enough over what happened.

“But after he finished he jumped off of me immediately. I had barely pulled my jeans up when he opened a door to a group of boys. They had been listening the entire time. 'I did it', he said, 'I fucked the beast. Now pay up'. They looked at me, laughed, sneered, then they just left. He just left with them, laughing. I climbed out the window. I couldn't bear to look at any of them.”

 

Brienne could still hear Hyle laughing as if it had just happened.

 

“But when I stood outside the house, I looked back. A fury grabbed me I never felt before. I stormed back inside, pushed my way through the crowd. He was standing in the living room, holding up the sixpack he had won like a trophy. Our eyes met, he made a joke, people stared at me, laughed. I snapped then.” Brienne shuddered. “I beat him half to death with the sixpack. He needed plastic surgery. When the others finally managed to pull me off of him, I saw the blood and his smashed in face and ran. I ran home carrying the sixpack. My father was still up, saw the bloody cans...” She shook her head, her father's shocked face in front of her. “Hyle's parents wanted to sue me. Dad wanted to sue him for raping me, even though I told him he hadn't. It was Hyle who put an end to it, I think. He must have told his parents what he had done. We never heard from them again. I left Tarth and finished my education here in King's Landing.”

 

Brienne closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“I've never trusted a man since then. I've never dated, never slept with anyone else. Maybe I won't be able to...I'm afraid that you'll run once you're standing in front of me. I'm afraid you'll find me ugly. I'm afraid you only want to sleep with me _because_ I am so ugly. I'm afraid that even if this is real, even if you really do want me despite it all, that I will only see him when you are on top of me. I'm afraid I'll hurt you if you try to get inside of me...get inside 'big Brienne'...”

 

It was silent for what felt like forever, Brienne left alone with her memories and all her fears. Then she heard sniveling at the other end of the line and when she dared to look up, her heart stopped beating. Jaime was crying. Full on crying. His face was red, tears falling from his eyes, his cheeks streaked with them. It made her cry, too.

 

Together they cried for the teenage girl who had been hurt so badly and for the woman who was wearing her scars.

 

They sobbed into their speakers as they gazed at each other and in a very odd way, it was such a comfort to not cry alone. There suddenly was someone who knew it all and who was just as sad and hurt like she was.

 

When the tears finally dried and they wiped their faces with their hands, something inside Brienne had changed.

 

Some of the pain was gone.

 

Brienne wondered about it, feeling so different in her own skin now, that she only half registered the odd, silent goodbye they said to each other before they left their offices for their respective homes.

Usually she wasn't a fan, but tonight she drew herself a bath and soaked in it for over an hour, staring at the pale blue tiles, feeling nothing. She would have sat there in the wet warmth even longer if she hadn't fallen asleep a couple of times.

Drowning in the bath would probably be the most dramatic end to this day, but she preferred to postpone meeting the Stranger, so she got out of the tub. As she brushed her teeth she looked into the mirror, into her eyes, trying to find the answer to why she felt so different.

 

There was none. Her eyes still looked the same old blue, her freckles were still in the same places they'd always been.

 

So when she left the bathroom, now dressed in gray shorts and her old blue Tarth Swimming Team shirt, she picked up her little white furball of a cat with almost the same blue eyes as her and nuzzled her face in the soft, fluffy hair. Feeling exhausted from all the confessions and crying, Brienne went straight to the bedroom, smiling at the excited squirming of her cat as she saw the bed. She sat her down on it and the little furball walked over it with her tail risen and her head held high, like a queen walking over her land. Brienne left it uncommented and returned to the kitchen for a glass of water. Just as she was rounding the counter, the mobile lying on it lit up.

 

Jaime. She knew it was him even before she picked it up.

 

_Can I call?_

 

Odd, Brienne thought as she walked and typed, how she didn't feel embarrassed after everything.

 

**Always.**

 

Not two seconds passed after he received it did he call. She smiled again, setting down the glass on her bedside table and shooing the cat away from her side so she could climb into bed. There was no hurry in her movements. Somehow she knew Jaime would wait.

 

When she answered the call, she was under the blanket lying on her side, the white furball on top of her, kneading the green and blue plaid blanket to get comfortable.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

A pause that didn't feel as uncomfortable as it could have been.

“Are you in bed already?” he asked softly.

“Yes. I'm exhausted. You?”

“Hm.”

Another pause. Brienne closed her eyes and listened to his breathing.

“Thank you”, he finally spoke, “for telling me. I should have said so at the office, I just...it was too much.”

“I know. I'm sorry I dumped this on you.”

“Don't. Please don't feel sorry. I am grateful. I...I understand now. Why you need this much time. It makes it easier...”, he let out a sigh. “I'm talking nonsense.”

“You're tired. It's fine. I understand.” When he didn't continue, she added: “I don't regret telling you...I trust you, Jaime. More than any other man I know...except my father, perhaps.”

He let out a soft laugh.

“What's he like?”

“My dad?”

“Yes.”

“He's lovely. Is always there for me, always supported me, no matter what I wanted. Whether it was starting an IT company or becoming a mermaid.”

Jaime chortled. “What?”

Brienne smiled. “When I was eight, I was obsessed with mermaids. I prayed every night, I was more in the water than on shore, I tried to grow a fishtail, tied my legs together at night, hoping they would melt together. And then, one morning, I woke up and at the end of the bed lay the most beautiful mermaid tail, blue and pink with countless little golden stars sewn onto it. Dad had it made for me. It was probably the happiest day of my childhood. He came with me to the beach that morning and helped me put it on. He even gave me a seashell tiara and a bracelet he had made himself. I still have them.”

“And the mermaid tail?”

“No...Dad destroyed it after the second time I almost drowned.”

“Brie...”

“I know. I was a silly girl. He was so wonderful and I...my brother drowned, you know? I wanted to become a mermaid so I could dive to the bottom of the sea and pull him up. Dad knew. He knew it was dangerous to give into this silly dream of mine, still he had that tail made for me.”

Jaime's silence was telling.

“He never let me swim with it alone. After the first time I had sneaked out alone and nearly drowned, he kept it locked away. I know he regretted ever buying the tail, but he didn't have the heart to throw it out. He has a soft heart. Too soft. It runs in the family.” Brienne smiled, the love for her father filling her heart. “But when he had to pull me up a second time, he couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't speak to him for a month. Then what would have been Galladon's 14th birthday came round and I found him crying on the porch, holding Galli's old teddybear and I finally realized what I'd done to him. We've never fought again.”

“Never?”

“No.”

“Wow...what's it like to have a loving father?”

“Heaven.”

“I bet it is.”

“Is your father really that bad?”

Jaime sighed. “He's cold. A cold, calculating man who thinks more of his legacy than anything else. He never held or comforted us, not that I can remember, at least. All the love we've gotten came from our mother. After she died...all the warmth was gone. Tywin Lannister isn't a loving man. That little love he had in him was given to my mother. There wasn't anything left for us.”

“I can't even imagine how that must have been for you. When did your mother die?”

“When Tyrion was born. She died in labour. We were 10.”

“That must have been horrible. But at least you have some memories of her. That's something to be grateful for. I can't remember my mother. Only fleeting things, like her long blonde hair or her smile.”

“Sometimes I think it would have been easier not to remember her at all. It was a difficult time after she died. I've never felt so alone in the world.”

“You had your sister, though, and your new brother.”

Jaime gulped, needed a second. “Yes. We...grew very close, Cersei and I. We were our only source of love. And I passed on as much as I could to Tyrion.”

“What's he like?”

“A great pain in the ass, that's what he's like.”

Brienne laughed.

“Jaime”, she chided softly.

“He's great,” he admitted then, “the typical Lannister asshole, but with a bigger heart than the rest of us. He's found the love of his life very early and never gave up on her, no matter what Father tried to separate them. They're married now. Five children, the sixth is on the way. Tyrion has secured Father's legacy, in spite of all the disdain he's shown him all his life. For being disabled, for killing our mother-”

Brienne gasped. “He does not think such bullshit, does he?”

“Oh, he does. Blamed Tyrion for his wife's death. My sister thinks so, too. Mother's death has been hardest on her.”

“That's no excuse. He was an innocent baby! He didn't murder anyone! It's childbirth, for heaven's sake!”

“I know that. Tyrion knows that. For the other two, there is no hope.”

Brienne huffed, shifting angrily on the mattress until there came a complaining meow from on top of her.

“What was that?”

“Azora. My cat.”

Jaime chortled. “You did name your cat _Azora Hai_?”

“So?”

He laughed. “ _Azor Ahai_ was male, wench.”

“I'm not getting into that argument again, old man.”

“Fine”, he chuckled. It made her smile. “Do you have a picture of her?”

“I have more pictures of her on my phone than of any other living thing.”

“Sent me one, then.”

“As if you have the first clue how to open a pic whilst being on the phone.”

“Try me.”

The Lannister arrogance in his tone angered her enough to do it. She chose a close-up of Azora's face with her big, beautiful blue eyes.

“Done”, she announced. She heard tapping and expected the call to end any second.

It didn't.

“She has your eyes. Very pretty.”

Brienne was stunned into silence. Jaime snickered.

“How?” came her buffled question.

“Read the instructions. I know everything about this blasted phone now.”

“Wow.”

“Thank you.”

They chuckled together.

“I'm proud of you, old man.”

“It's your good influence, wench.”

“ _'Tarth Digital – Leading senior citizens into the Digital Now'_. I should use that as our slogan. We could do a picture together where you sit on the desk and I loom over you, pointing at the monitor. You know, like one of those ads that are more offensive to elderly people than anything else.”

“Sweetling, if it gets you into the same room as me, I'm willing to do almost anything.”

Brienne's heart skipped a beat. Only now did she realize that she'd been afraid to never hear this flirty, playful tone in his voice again.

“Even after today?” she asked softly.

“Even more so”, he replied just as softly.

Brienne closed her eyes, leaning into her phone, wishing for his warm cheek instead of cold plastic.

“Brienne, I...I want you to know, that even if things don't work out, even if you can't...”

 _No, no_ , she begged silently, _don't go there. It's been so lovely. Don't remind us._

“Even if you don't want to be with me in a romantic way, I want you to know that I'm here. Always, Brienne. I'll always be here.”

A knot formed in her throat.

“Damn you, Lannister”, she choked out, “haven't we cried enough tonight?”

Jaime half laughed, half choked. “Sorry.”

Brienne gulped a few times, swallowing down the tears. She would _not_ cry again!

“Me too, Jaime”, she whispered, not trusting her voice. “I'll be with you the rest of the way. You're not alone anymore.”

A sob broke out of him.

“Fuck”, he cursed, “ever since I've known you I've cried a river, wench.”

“Then toughen up, old man. I'm not going anywhere.”

He chortled and sobbed. “Swear it. Swear you won't leave me, no matter what happens.”

“I swear”, she vowed before she could help herself.

“I want to kiss you so bad right now”, he whispered and sniveled. “I want to hold you in my arms, here in my bed, all through the night, every night, until we're both old and gray and turn to dust.”

“Well, you're half way there, so...”

Jaime laughed. “You're horrible. Horrible and terribly unromantic, wench.”

“Yep.”

He laughed again. “Just my kind of woman.”

Brienne rolled her eyes.

 

They kept talking halfway through the night until they fell asleep. Neither did hang up. Brienne was woken by his rustling and groan as he stretched. She complained with a groan of her own and reached out to the other side of the bed only to find the sheets cold and empty. As she opened her eyes she was so sure to find him there next to her. But he wasn't. Not in body.

“Brienne?”

“Good morning.”

“Damn, we must have fallen asleep.”

“Clever deduction, old man. You're brilliant in the morning.”

“And you're grumpy, just like you always are.”

She stuck out her tongue, her eyes already closed again.

“Brienne?”

“What?!”

“Woah, calm down. Just wanted to wish you a good morning and say goodbye before I hang up.”

That made her pout and snuggle further into the cushion.

“Just five more minutes, Jaime.”

Rustling on the other side. His voice was low and sexy when he spoke.

“Any chance for morning phone sex?”

Brienne smiled into her white cushion, a pleasant tingle between her legs.

“Do you like morning sex?” she couldn't help but ask.

“I like sex any time, wench. But morning sex has it's own appeal”, he added and Brienne listened with interest, her body humming from his voice and words, “the sheets are warm, our bodies are, too. Mouths are stale, granted, but there are worse things in life than morning breath. We're still a bit sleepy, so it will be slow, a bit lazy, but oh so good. Deep and slow can be fantastic, sweetling...It will be fantastic.”

“Yes”, Brienne whispered, imagining him here with her, on top of her, between her legs, gently pushing into her while he looked into her eyes, making love to her so brilliantly that she'd never want to leave her bed again.

“Touch yourself for me, sweetling”, Jaime suddenly whispered, his voice thick and beautiful. “Let me listen while you think of me.”

A shiver spread in her entire body, her panties dampened. Oh, she wanted nothing more. If she was a braver woman, she would. Would have made him listen as she pleasured herself with no other man in her mind but him.

 

But she wasn't that brave.

 

“I can't, Jaime.”

He sighed. “It's fine.”

He sounded so sad, sweet man. Gods, how much she wanted him.

“I have though, Jaime,” she whispered, heart pounding in her chest, “thought of you. When I...you know...”

“Yeah?”

Brienne squeezed her legs together, biting her bottom lip to suppress a moan.

“Yes. I think of you every time. You're the only one I think of, Jaime. Just you.”

“Gods, Brie. It's just you. You're the only one I get hard for, Brienne, the only one.”

“Jaime!”

Was it possible to come from just talking? Brienne could almost believe it. She was horny enough to test it. Would have tested it, if it weren't for the cat with the worst timing in the gods damned world.

 

Azora pounced her out of nowhere, making her scream.

Jaime cursed at the other end of the line. Brienne cursed her cat and pushed her away, a little too roughly in her shock, perhaps. Azora hissed and jumped off the bed. She wouldn't look at her for two days straight. Brienne only felt a little bad.

 

“Jaime?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry. Azora lunged at me.”

“I don't like that cat anymore.”

Brienne chuckled and smiled.

“I'm sorry, Jaime.”

“It's fine, sweetling. I have to get up, anyway.”

“How late is it?”

“Almost eight.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. See you in a bit.”

“Yes.”

“Alright. Bye, sweetling.”

“Jaime?”

“Hm?”

Brienne bit her lip. She wanted to tell him how wonderful it had been to spent the night like this, tell him how close she felt to him, how she longed for him, how she wished she was braver, how desperately she hoped this would work out and they'd wake up in each other's arms, soon.

“Good morning”, she whispered instead, mentally kicking herself.

“Good morning, love.”

Gods, this man was so sweet and wonderful.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

He hung up. Brienne groaned into her pillow.

 

 

~oOo~

 

 

On the train to work Brienne sent Jaime a few more pictures of Azora, which was ironic because she loathed it when people sent other people hundreds of pictures of their pets...or children. But she couldn't stop herself, needed to connect with him in some way, even if she would see him in fifteen minutes.

 

_I like the one where she sleeps on your beautiful bare legs, wench. I hope you have a lot more of those short shorts. I'll take you to the Summer Isles for winter season if you promise me to only wear those shorts...preferably only those, but with you being such a prude I'll also allow you to wear a bikini top...a veeeery small one._

 

**I'll wear whatever you want, dear heart. I just want to be with you.**

 

Her heart only skipped two beats as she typed this and she sighed after she tapped the send button. Resting her forehead against the cool window she watched the city fly by.

 

_Me too, my love. My heart. My best friend. My Brienne. I miss you. When will you be here? I have a board meeting in half an hour. I have to see you before that. I'll tell Pia to move it._

 

Brienne smiled as she read it.

 

**No need. I'll be there. I miss you, too. It was so wonderful to fall asleep and wake up together. Can we do it again?**

 

_Every night, if you want. I loved it, too. Hurry._

 

She did. And was out of breath when she reached her office. Damn the people cramming up the streets, blocking her way. Jaime was just shrugging on his suit jacket, Pia with him in the room, holding out a folder for him to take. She spotted her and smiled, saying something to Jaime that made his head snap up.

 

A smile bloomed on his face and he took a step towards her.

 

The look on his face, this one small step in her direction...

 

  
She loved him.

 

Gods, how much she loved him.

 

  
To realize it now felt somehow silly, but also perfect.

 

She loved him. She would always love him.

 

“Jaime”, she whispered, her heart full of him, and waved.

 

Jaime waved back and held her gaze with such a loving expression, his eyes so soft, the morning sun making his hair and skin glow. It needed Pia to separate them. She more or less had to pull him away from the window. With a last look and smile, Jaime hurried out of his office. Pia followed, throwing a smile up at her over her shoulder before she closed the door.

 

_You look beautiful today. I love that blue dress._

 

Ten minutes later did he text this. Must be sitting in the meeting. She really shouldn't encourage his rudeness, but...

 

**It's not a dress. It's a long shirt. The price was ridiculous, but I like how it feels on my skin.**

 

_Gods, Brie, don't start sexting now. I can't sit in a board meeting with a boner. Half my family is here!_

 

**What did I say?**

 

_That you don't even know makes me want to sneak under that shirt and lick every inch of your chest. You truly are a wench. I knew it from the first moment our eyes met._

 

**Stop it, Jaime. Pay attention** _._

 

 _Something is_ standing _at half-attention._

 

Brienne let out a scandalized gasp, but he was already typing before she could even process that.

 

_Yeah, I really have to dial it down. Have to give a presentation once my beloved father is done blowing sugar up is own ass. Can't wait to see you. Dinner as usual? Could you order something? Had no time. I overslept. My Exclusive Phone Buddy kept me up all night._

 

**Will do. Be a good lion. I'm proud of you. You're doing good work. Remember that. <3**

 

_Why the heck is 3 bigger than what you said? WHAT?!_

 

Brienne chortled and shook her head.

 

_It's supposed to be a heart, old man. Glad I can still teach you some things. Now stop texting and get back to work. If you can't hear anything, you should probably check your hearing aid._

 

He replied with the middle finger emoji. It made her fall in love with him even more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it got a bit dark and violent here.


	10. Something promised

It was two hours after the board meeting, Jaime had come in only to gather up some files before he dashed out again, not without giving her a wink and a sexy bite down his lip, when a calendar update disturbed her during work.

Pod had made an appointment for next week. Which of course was his job. If it hadn't been for the capital letters in the subject she wouldn't have paid any attention to it. But

 

**MEETING WITH THE DARK LORD!!!**

 

was kind of hard to miss, even in a pop-up window in the bottom corner of her screen.

Brienne's entire system paused for a moment, then she opened up the appointment...and called Pod after she read it.

“He insisted, Ms. Tarth,” Pod answered the phone, voice sounding panicky. “He called himself. I...His voice...He insisted to see you. Said it was long overdue that he met the head of the company that saved them.”

“Calm down, Pod”, she said in a soothing tone, hoping to calm herself, as well. “It's fine. Did he give more details? Anything in particular he wants? Just a meet and greet? Or an update on the progress?”

“He-he didn't say. Sounded busy. Just gave me three available dates and asked me to make the appointment. Then he hung up...He's scary, ma'am. I'm sorry.”

“It's fine, Pod. You did well.”

“I really don't think so.”

“You'll learn to handle such people. Give it time.”

“Y-yes, ma'am.”

“Could you please make some bullet points on the progress of the implementation? Some statistics, percentages, you know, some numbers for him to look at.”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.”

Brienne hung up and took a deep breath.

 

A meeting with the Dark Lord himself.

 

_Shit_

 

~oOo~

 

Telling Jaime about the meeting with the Dark Lord lead to another intense phone call. As soon as Jaime opened the box she had sent him from _Hot Pie_ and saw the entire chocolate fudge cake, he knew something was wrong.

“Is this going to be another emotionally draining phone call?” he assumed correctly, smiling bravely but by now Brienne could tell he was as tense as her.

“I hope not, but I think it has the potential to be.”

“After the life-sucking board meeting I had hoped for a quiet dinner where you tell me how much you fancy me. I could really use some swooning from my _EPB_ tonight.”

“I think we should get it over with. Maybe it's not that bad.”

Jaime let out a long sigh and looked at the cake. Without a word he cut off a piece and put it on one of the plates he kept in the closet next to his mini bar. He ate half the piece and drank half the lemon ice tea before he looked up at her again.

“Alright, shoot.”

Brienne couldn't help the smile.

 

_I love you_

 

“Your father has summoned me for a meeting next Thursday afternoon.”

Brienne wasn't one to sugarcoat things. The cake had been her way of easing him in.

Jaime stared at nothing, his mind racing.

“Fuck”, he said and stabbed the remaining cake on his plate with his fork. Then he fell back in his big black leather chair and stared at it.

“Jaime, it's not that bad.”

Instead of replying, he closed his eyes. She heard him inhale once, twice. Deep breaths. Still, he bolted out of his chair and began pacing the floor.

“Jaime.”

His hands were flexing. He wanted to punch something. Or someone.

“Jaime, talk to me.”

“Fucking Renly!” he shouted then, huffing out a breath.

“What does he have to do with anything?”

Jaime growled and started pacing back and forth in his office, like a caged lion.

“That fucking idiot never passes up an opportunity to make fun of anything, damning any consequences to the seven hells. Loras really has fucked his brains out – whatever little he had.”

“Jaime!” She would let no one talk shit about her friends. Not even him. “Renly and Loras are my friends.”

“Oh yes, and what a friend he is”, Jaime snarled.

“Just tell me what happened, Lannister.”

“Don't Lannister me!”

“Then talk to me and stop insulting my friends!”

Jaime growled again, showing her his teeth. Then he ran a hand through his hair.

“Two weeks ago, at our weekly Saturday dinner, your _friend_ made several what he thought to be clever remarks about you.”

Brienne froze. A knot formed in her throat. He'd done it before, years ago, when they'd still been at college and she had followed him like a dog. She knew he'd intended it to be funny, playful, but it had hurt. That he'd do it again...

“About us, really”, Jaime added, “inquired after you, wanted me to send you his regards for he never sees his boss anymore, etc. Basically told my family that we're having an affair.”

He cursed and ran his hand through his hair again.

“Oh.” It felt like a dagger had been pushed into her heart. “That...That must have been embarrassing for you.”  
  


Of course he hadn't told his family.

Of course he'd be ashamed to tell them about the ugly woman in his life.  
  


“Embarrassing?! I was angry. _Am_ angry. Renly had no right to tell them about us. Had no fucking right to put you in the line of fire. I was so careful! I tried everything to hide you, us, from them. I didn't even tell Tyrion, although I'm pretty sure he suspected...But that fucking fool Renly Baratheon put you into the spotlight, as always not giving a damn about anyone but his own amusement! And now here we are!”

Jaime threw up his hands. Then he kicked the back of one of the chairs in his seating area next to his office door.

Brienne swallowed down the lump in her throat. Just when she thought this could work out. Of course it was nothing but a dream. Her, Jaime Lannister's wife? Standing next to him, being bound to him in front of all the world? They'd look ridiculous. Of course Jaime wouldn't want anyone to know. He might care for her, he might want her, but it would always be in the shadows. She'd never be with him at a family gathering, standing next to him with his arm around her, both of them wearing matching rings.

Gods, even after all the heartbreak she still was a foolish, naive girl...

Blood was rushing in her ears so loudly she hardly heard how Jaime continued.

 

“He will do just as he did with Tysha. He will do everything to take you away from me.” The shaking of his voice made Brienne look up, just in time to see him approach the window. “I won't let him. I will never let you go, Brienne. Never. You're mine. I've found you. I've finally found you. All my life I've been waiting for you. I won't let you go. I'll follow you wherever you run off to. Tyrion fought for his woman and so will I. Whatever they'll do, they will never keep me away from you.”

Brienne's eyes were wide as saucers. Her heart was pounding against her heart, trying to break her rib cage and beat its way over to his...where it belonged.

“It's you, Brienne. If they make me choose between them and you, it will be you. No matter what they say. Don't believe a word my father says to you. You know me. You know what I feel for you. You know, Brienne.”

 

Yes. Gods, yes, she did. Jaime. Her Jaime...

 

Unable to speak, Brienne nodded, knowing from his intense gaze that he needed a reaction. Jaime let out a breath and rested his forehead against the glass. She wanted nothing more than to take him into her arms, stroke his hair and kiss his cheek and reassure him that she wouldn't go anywhere.

“Don't listen to him. He doesn't know me. You know me. You know me better than anyone.”

Tears filled her eyes, not for the first time in the last minutes. Jaime looked so lonely, sounded so afraid to be alone again.

“I won't leave, Jaime. I promise.”

Jaime's lips trembled.

What on Earth had his father done to his brother's girlfriend that he was so frightened now?

“It's you”, he half-whispered. “It will always be you, Brienne.”

“I know.”

This made him look up. “Do you?”

 

Did she?!

 

She looked into his eyes, him being across the street in another building. She had never touched him, never kissed him, never held him. But something deep inside her scarred heart simply knew. It had known from the very first moment.

 

_This is what it feels like to be wanted by such a man._

 

A smile spread on her face. Peace settled over her. Peace and reassurance that yes, he was hers, in spite of what she looked like. They understood each other on a level she hardly understood herself.

“I do”, she said confidently and, after a short pause added with a jubilating heart: “You're mine.”

As Brienne started grinning like a madwoman, Jaime's lips parted and his eyes widened. Something had been clarified. Something had been promised.

“And you're mine”, he whispered, sounding so in awe that she blushed.

“I am.”

 

She was.

 

Forever.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some Braime fluff <3

Brienne and Jaime fell asleep and woke up together every day now. After Brienne had insisted to split the costs of what must be a horrendous phone bill, Jaime simply changed the contract with his phone company and made her his “VIP”, that one number he could call without having to pay. The Lannister bonus made the change immediate and he took full advantage of it, calling her several times during the weekend.

…Well, actually, it was only one long phone call (with the exception of four long hours on Saturday night due to the family dinner). Brienne wondered if anyone had ever been on the phone with another person for two days straight.

 

Well, probably.

 

But probably not two idiots who lived in the same city with one of them simply being a big ninny.

Honestly, Brienne didn't know what was still preventing her to take this one last step. She knew Jaime's heart was true. She knew he wanted her. She trusted him.

She just didn't trust herself. The self-doubt inside her had nothing to do with him. He could have proposed marriage or offered his soul, she would still fear he'd run away once he stood before her. This fear was a part of her, thanks to Hyle, thanks to all those years of humiliation from people she knew and didn't know, whether it had been cruel words or disgusted looks.   
Before she met with Jaime, she had to find a way to silence this fear. She wanted this first date they were planning to be perfect and not ruined by her anxieties.

 

“On our first date”, Jaime whispered Sunday night, both of them lying in their beds, longing for the other's arms around them, “I will cook for you. We'll have a romantic dinner on the balcony and afterwards we'll lie on the lounging chair and watch the sunset over the sea. I will hold you in my arms while we watch the stars come out. And then we'll go to bed, finally you'll be here with me and I can fall asleep with your warmth and scent all around me, wench.”

“It sounds...”, Brienne bit her lip cheekily, “very tame.”

Jaime chuckled. “For modesty reasons I skipped the part where I'll ravish you until you're sore and overflowing.”

“Over-? Oh...oh!” Brienne blushed a full tomato red.

“Too much?” Jaime asked softly.

“No, no,” she tried to fake confidence, “it's just that...I should probably get on the pill if you...you know...”

“Oh, sorry. I just assumed you were. Aren't all women these days?”

“No. Don't think so. It's not really healthy with all the hormones swirling inside your body.”

“Oh. Yeah...No problem, I'll make sure to stock up on condoms, then. I bet you can order them online, as well.”

Brienne giggled. “Does it really feel different whether you use a condom or not?”

“Of course it does. For men, at least. Less friction, no wetness.”

Wetness. Maiden, just from talking about this she got wet.

“Doesn't it make you last longer?”

“Is this the opening for a joke about my sexual stamina, wench? I'm not old!”

Brienne burst into a laugh.

“No, it wasn't, it really wasn't. Just scientific curiosity.”

“Sure it was.”

Brienne giggled. “Jaime?”

“What? Did you say something? My hearing aid must be broken.”

She chortled. “I give you a moment to adjust it, sir.”

He only growled at her. She wanted to bite into his earlobe.

“There are other methods of contraception we could try.”

Jaime was all ears. “Anything that involves me being inside you without a barrier?”

Maiden have mercy. Why did his casual words put all these heavenly pictures into her head?

“Yes.”

“Yes to all of them, then.”

Brienne laughed. Then she bit her lip, her heart beating a bit faster.

“They are not as effective as condoms, though...”

Oh boy.

 

How do you ask a man if he wants to have children with you without scaring him off to the moon?

 

The pause on the other end of the line made her believe that she hadn't nailed it.

“I...I wouldn't mind that,” Jaime said softly, “not at all, actually.”

 

_Ah, so that's what it feels like when your ovaries explode...interesting._

 

“Really?” Brienne whispered.

“Really. If that's what you want, too. I...I would like to have a big family...”

Images, so many lovely images with him and a litter of gold-haired children around them filling her head.

“Me too”, she admitted, having just realized it. She had never really thought about it since before Hyle, but yes, she would love to have a family of her own. With him as her husband and the father of her children.

 

Mother and Father have mercy.

 

“I want them to have my name. One family name. I want people to know we all belong together.”

“Very traditional of you, Mr. Lannister”, she joked, ignoring her irritatingly fast heartbeat.

“It could be Tarth, if you prefer. Just...just one name. For all of us.”

“You'd be willing to give up your family name?”

“I don't give a shit about my family name. I just want to be happy with the woman I-”

Both of them froze. Brienne had an outer-body experience where her soul tried to fly across the city straight into his arms.

“Jaime”, she whispered after what felt like an eternity.

“No. I won't say it on the phone. Not the first time.”

Thousands of shivers ran across her body. A knot formed in her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her hand over her mouth to not sob into the speaker like a silly girl.

  
This was it. The happiest moment of her life. The weirdest love confession ever.

 

“Not the first time”, she repeated in a whisper, hoping he'd understand.

Jaime's intake of breath told her he did. “Sweetling”, he whispered, “Brienne.”

“Always, Jaime.”

“Always.”

 

Neither of them spoke another word. Nothing could be a more perfect ending to this Sunday. They fell asleep with blissful smiles on their faces.

 

~oOo~

 

All seemed well. Jaime and Brienne spent their spare time exclusively with each other this week. As soon as they left the office, Jaime called and they spent their evenings together. They cooked, they ate, they settled on their respective couches and argued what to watch on TV. They even tried a chess game over the phone – and were both bored out of their minds within ten minutes.

“Now I remember why I stopped playing with Tyrion”, he said as they packed up their chess sets, “too much thinking for me.”

“Stop. You're just fishing for compliments. I'm not falling for that one, old man.”

“Was worth a try.”

Brienne laughed and mentally kissed his cheek.

“Hey, we could try out _Whispering Woods_. It's a website with a ton of browser games.”

Brienne paused, almost dropping the queen.

“How the seven hells do you know about _Whispering Woods_?”

“Ha haa, I'm young and hip, Bri.”

“No, you're not, _Jay_.”

“Ew, no. No ' _Jay_ '. Never.”

Brienne chuckled and walked over to the couch, sat down and picked up her laptop.

“Fine. I prefer ' _Jaime_ ', anyway.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Shut up.”

He chuckled while she logged into her _WhisWoo_ -account.

“Should I help you to set up an account, old man?”

“I have one, wench. I play with Tyrion and Myrcella sometimes. On my phone, too.”

“Wow. I'm impressed.”

“Please imagine my middle finger in your face, Ms. Tarth.”

“With pleasure, sir.”

They shared a laugh.

“Now, what's your username...”, Brienne wondered allowed, “PrinceCharming? Lion69? LanTheClever? MrBigBalls?”

“Yes, Brienne, I play games with my niece as MrBigBalls.”

“Sorry”, Brienne grinned.

“Though I do like _Lion69_. Shame I didn't think of that. Do you think she'd pick up on that?”

“How old is she?”

“14.”

“Definitely.”

“Definitely?! _Definitely_?! She's 14!”

“It's the digital age, Jaime. There is free porn everywhere. And kids are curious.”

“No. No, no, no, no, no. Myrcella is a sweet, innocent girl. She'd never look at porn.”

Brienne rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“She's probably already done it, too.”

“Oh dear gods, just stop already!”

Brienne snorted. “You do realize that your disgust is pure sexism, don't you?”

“Hey!”

“It is! You'd never react the same way if we were talking about Joffrey. If it was Tommen, you'd probably high-five him for having sex at the age of 8. Men and their double standards when it comes to sex! As a father or relative, you want us to be modest, shy and prude, but as a lover you want us naughty and always willing. Disgusting!”

“That's not-” a pause, “seven hells, you're right.”

Brienne nodded triumphantly.

“Sexuality is complicated.”

“Only because you men make it so. If you would stop slut-shaming women and girls, we'd all live in a better world where all of us would feel confident with our sexuality. You know, like in Dorne.”

“But then all women would be confident and realize what insecure, cock-obsessed assholes we are and the human race would go extinct.”

“Hm, probably”, Brienne agreed. “Then again, the population in Dorne is thriving.”

“Can we please not talk about Dorne?”

Brienne only rolled her eyes. Ever since she had accepted Oberyn's generous offer, Jaime had made some sharp remarks about him.

“When is that man-whore due to arrive, anyway?”

“Three weeks. That's what he told me five weeks ago. He's changing it constantly. Which he knows irritates me, so I have no effing idea.”

“How well exactly does he know you?”

“Better than I'm comfortable with. He's very good at reading people. I think he would have been a great therapist, but I'm fairly sure most of his therapy would be lots and lots of sex. With him.”

“Did he try to sleep with you?”

Oh, there was an icy, icy chill coming out of her phone.

“He's Oberyn the prince of fucking Dorne Martell.”

“That's a yes, then.”

“Jaime.”

He took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

Brienne wanted to tell him that there could have been a million Oberyn Martells begging her to sleep with them, _he_ would still be her only choice. Always.

“Now give me your nickname, old man, so that we can start playing”, she said instead.

“It's _Oathkeeper_ , wench. I'm disappointed that you didn't guess.”

“...yeah, alright, I should have known. Sorry.”

“Hm.”

By now they'd spent hours talking about vintage motorbikes and cars.

She sent him a friend request, waiting for his inevitable snarky remark. So when it didn't come and he simply accepted the request from _TheBlueKnight_ , Brienne was more than surprised.

“Come on, old man. Give me something.”

“What? It suits you perfectly. You're strong and brave with the bluest eyes on the planet, so there is nothing for me to make fun of. Annoyingly so.”

Brienne blushed. “You're sweet.”

“You're sweeter.”

She smiled and blushed some more.

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“With a kiss?” she asked cheekily.

“A thousand.”

Brienne giggled and swore that soon, she would kiss him a thousand times, and then another thousand, and then a million times more.

 

They checked out each other's list of favorite games. Neither of them was surprised anymore that they had a lot of favs in common. But when she saw an icon with the head of a cartoon boy with horse ears on a horse's neck, Brienne burst into another laugh.

“Oh my gods! You play _Horseboy = Dreamboy_?!” She hastily reached for her phone. “I have to sent a picture to Sansa! She will fall in love with you even more.”

“I played it with Myrcella!”

Postponing her answer, Brienne quickly snapped a pic and sent it to her friend with the caption 'guess who also plays your favorite game'.

“You did not just send this picture, wench!”

“Oh, but I did, old man.”

“Well, then you better tell her that I only play because of my niece!”

Feeling light-hearted and happy, Brienne did something she never did: She sent him a request to switch to video.

Jaime hesitated.

“You're pretty enough, Lannister. Get on with it.”

“Wait...just a sec...”

There were the sounds of footsteps running, then rustling and clanking of glass, then running again, possibly a jump.

Finally, he turned on the camera.

He looked good enough to eat. As usual. His hair fell into his eyes in a way that made him look boyishly handsome. He also wore a slight stubble, which gods was so sexy she wanted to rub her face on it.

“Did you just style your hair?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“You're so vain”, did she roll her eyes, hoping her cheeks were just warm and not colored.

“Excuse me for wanting to look pretty for my _EBP_.”

“Your _EBP_ doesn't give a rat's ass what you look like. In fact, your _EBP_ would be a lot less insecure if you wouldn't look so damn fine all the time. The stubble is a soothing balm for her ego.”

“Sorry I didn't shave.”

He rubbed his chin – and actually looked a little embarrassed. What was wrong with him?

“What's wrong?”

“I don't know, I...I just wasn't prepared to see your face today. If I had known I would have prepared. I would have shaved, I would have showered, I would have cleaned the apartment...”

Brienne snorted and shook her head. “Jaime, I can't see much of your place. As long as there aren't rodents and you can see the floor and the furniture, it's fine. And all jokes aside, you do look handsome.”

A smile blossomed on his face.

“Thank you. So do you.”

Brienne snorted again.

“You do”, he insisted, “your eyes are blue like today's sky. Beautiful.”

Only Sansa and Margaery had called her eyes beautiful before.

“I-” Brienne looked into his smiling face and all protest left her. “Thank you, Jaime.”

They took a moment to admire seeing each other this close.

“I would like to kiss you now”, Jaime purred sweetly and a strand of hair fell into his eye.

Brienne wanted nothing more than to brush it away and kiss every part of his face.

“Soon”, she promised, his parting lips and widening eyes only intensifying her need to finally, finally be in his arms.

 

After they had had their fill of each other's faces, they squabbled about what to play first. They were in the midst of their first game of some space ship shooter when Jaime got a text. And another. And another. And one more.

“Damn it, Tyrion! Can we pause?”

“Nope”, Brienne grinned, spamming her left mouse button and advancing her score.

Two more text messages for Jaime.

“I'm getting distracted! This round doesn't count!”

“Oh, the seven hells it does.”

The round ended. Brienne was in the lead with 2,000 points.

She gave him a triumphant grin.

“Cheater”, Jaime snorted and grabbed his phone.

“Not my fault you're so popular, Lannister.”

He tapped open his messenger and groaned.

“It's Sansa. She wants to know which ending I got in _Horseboy = Dreamboy_.”

Brienne burst into laughter. Her laptop almost slipped off her thighs. Still laughing she caught it and put it on the coffee table before she lay down on the couch, holding her phone above her and grinning up at him. Jaime was still getting text messages.

“Gods, that girl!”

“Go ahead, gush about your dreamhorseboy all you want. I'll wait.”

Azora chose this moment to jump up on the couch. Purring loudly she walked over Brienne's chest, rubbed her furry face on her chin, looked up at the small man on the display, greeted him with a headbump and then climbed off her human to snuggle against her side. As usual she clawed her paws into Brienne's upper arm to make it come closer until Azora was nicely wrapped up, her head resting on the upper arm she was holding in all four legs.

“This is the cutest thing I have ever seen.”

Brienne only smiled and looked down at the white, blue-eyed fur ball, giving her purring head a little kiss.

“I know. She can be a bitch sometimes, but most of the time she is a cuddly little angel.”

“I'm cuddly, too.”

Brienne rolled her eyes and looked up at him. His green eyes were gleaming.

“I wish I could be on that couch with you right now and cuddle up against your other side.”

Her eyes fluttered close as she felt the ghost of his breath against her neck, a rush of warmth drifting over her side.

“Sounds lovely.”

“I want to be with you, Brienne. I miss your arms around me, your mouth on mine. I dream of you so often that I feel like I know what you feels like, what it feels like to hold and kiss you.”

“You've been so patient. Thank you. I want you to know that I don't take it for granted. You're so lovely, Jaime. You're the most wonderful man.”

“Only because you make me want to be better. I want to be the best for you.”

Now she rolled her eyes, but smiled, her heart skipping a beat.

“Stop.”

“Only if you kiss me.”

“I will.”

“No. Now.”

She frowned, a wave of sickness rolling through her, an instinctive reaction to romantic silliness.

“I won't kiss the screen, Jaime. That's ludicrous, even for us.”

No need to tell him that she had kissed a picture of him. She'd rather die than tell him.

“Don't be silly. I just want you to blow me...a kiss”, he added with a naughty smirk that made her want to slap him and blush a deep red.

“Well, that's better.” Her words dripped with sarcasm.

“Come on, wench.”

“Why? I'll look stupid. It _is_ stupid.”

“It would make me happy.”

  
Check mate.

 

_Damn you, Lannister._

 

As Brienne heaved a sigh, Jaime knew he had won.

“Fine. Quickly then.”

“Wait, wait...alright. I'm ready.”

His face was closer to the screen. His expression serious. It made her blush.

Hating herself, Brienne closed her eyes and pursed her lips.

 

_One Blackwater, two Blackwater..._

 

“Happy?!” she asked in annoyance as she opened her eyes.

Jaime bit his lip and scrunched his nose.

“Almost. Now open your mouth and stick your tongue out a little-”

Brienne hung up and cursed the idiot she loved so much.

Jaime called immediately. She let him feel the consequences of being an asshole to her for ten seconds, then she finally answered.

“What?!”

“I'm sorry, sweetling.”

She gave him the finger.

“I deserve that.”

With a huff, she looked away and stroked Azora's soft fur.

“Sweetling.”

“No.”

“My love.”

Curse her beat-skipping heart!

“Shut up.”

“Look at me. Please.”

She really shouldn't. If it weren't for his soft tone, she wouldn't have. But she did.

Jaime smiled, then he closed his eyes and pursed his lips.

It was as adorable as it was silly.

“You're an idiot”, she said softly, to which he opened his eyes again.

“I know...now, for that Dornish kiss...”

He opened his mouth wide and stuck out his tongue, flapping it about as he apparently swallowed the camera making horrific noises.

Brienne made an appalled noise and hung up again. She declined all of the five video calls Jaime requested. She wouldn't let him see her face for the rest of the day.

 

A lesson had to be taught.

 


	12. The Ex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more confession.

On Wednesday evening, after a two-hour conference call with Oberyn and a new potential client, Brienne was anxious to talk to Jaime. Hearing his voice and spending time with him had become a must to feel happy. On the return to her office she went directly to the windows. He wasn't there. Brienne let out a disappointed huff and stayed a moment longer, hoping to make him appear with the power of her mind.

No Jaime popped up in his office.

_Damn. Well, back to work then._  
  


Two hours. Two more hours before her phone rang. Time had never passed this slowly.

_Keep it cool_ , Brienne thought and stopped her hand hovering over the speaker. So she took her time and put on her headset before she answered.

“Hey, handsome.”

What the seven hells had just come out of her mouth?!

She _really_ wasn't herself today.

 She had become a Jaime addict, that was what wrong with her, she thought in annoyance.

“You're sweet.”  


Oh. Something was wrong. Hella wrong.  


“What happened?”

She stood up and walked to the window. Jaime sat at his desk. Instead of wearing his headset he held the speaker of the telephone in his hand, his face mostly out of sight.

“Jaime?”

She heard him breathe.

“Bri, I have to tell you something.”

The air around her froze. Her chest tightened.

“What's wrong? Look at me.”

“Brienne, do me a favor and sit down at your desk.”

“Jaime, you're freaking me out.”

A spark of green. He glanced up at her, only for a moment, oh, but that look on his face.

Brienne's heart was hammering in her chest.

Blood was rushing in her ears as she did how she was bidden.

With every deep breath he took, horror scenarios were unfolding behind her eyes.

 

_It's over. The dream is over. I'm going to wake up now. Of course it couldn't be true..._

 

“I should have told you way sooner...before we became what we are, but...I just wanted one thing for myself. I was hoping...I just wanted to leave all this old shit behind and start a new life. A good life. I didn't tell you because I thought she'd leave us alone...”, he snorted, “I am the stupidest Lannister.”

“Is this about your ex?”

Jaime sighed. “Yes.”  
“What then? Just tell me.”

Brienne was a hands-on woman. She didn't like this hesitance. Get the problem on the table and deal with it, then move on.

The pause was killing her.

“Jaime!” Brienne hated the big fat knot in her throat that made her voice shake.

“It's Cersei!” it burst out of him.

Brienne frowned. “What?”

A heavy breath. “My ex...it's Cersei.”

She blinked. She took a breath. Her mind was blank.

“What?”

An image formed in her head, from one of the pictures she had found online. The official picture of the _LBS, Inc._ management. And standing next to Jaime had been his twin...the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.

And she had been his girlfriend? She had been the one he had loved for 'most of his life'? His own sister?! His twin sister?!

 

_Dear Gods..._

 

“I'm sorry. I know I should have told you, but...how do you tell someone something like that?”

 

_Dear Gods..._

 

“...It started when we were very young...some harmless games...Mother caught us once, tried to keep us apart...but we always found ways to sneak around her, shared beds and nights...until harmless turned to serious...”

A wave of nausea ran through her. Brienne didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to know. But her mouth was too dry, the lump in her throat too thick to stop him.

“It didn't feel wrong for a very long time. It was...we felt like we were meant for each other...”

Her heart clenched.

“I loved her...and I thought she loved me just as much. Finding out she didn't was the hardest truth I ever had to learn. Too long I was blind, then I blinded myself, held on to the dream of us until she had torn it to shreds...”

Brienne pressed her hand on her mouth to stifle the sob that was bubbling in her throat.

“Two years ago, I broke things off for good. Got myself some therapy. It helped me to move on, to realize that I wasn't worthless without her. That I have the right to a life of my own.”

Brienne shook her head. What he said, it made no sense. She didn't understand. She wanted to hang up and run away, she wanted to run across the street and pull him into her arms and tell him that no one would ever love him as good as she would.

“I thought she had accepted it. Two years now we rarely speak to one another, have reached some sort of neutrality. I thought she would leave me be...but then Renly made those comments at dinner...”

She heard him gulp.

“She doesn't want me, but she doesn't want me to be happy, either. She will come to the meeting with my father tomorrow, as she just informed me...”

Suddenly, everything fell into place.

“So, you're telling me before she can.”

He gulped. “Yes.”

“Jaime...”, she sighed and fell quiet.

 

It was quiet for a very long time.

 

Brienne's thoughts were racing, but nothing formed into sentences to say. She felt...numb. Was that was shock felt like? It was surprisingly...unshocking? Maybe there were different kinds of shock?

Gods, Jaime had had sex with his sister. His twin fucking sister...

Two cells in her brain suddenly made contact and Brienne straightened in her seat.

 

_Oh, dear Gods. Oh, holy Mother!_

 

“The children...?”

“...Yeah...”

“Gods, Jaime...”

Brienne shot out of her chair, started pacing. “You are so damn lucky!”

“Excuse me?!”

“What are the odds?! It must be a biological miracle, your genetic material being so similar and all. But all of them are healthy! Gods, Jaime. How could you be so reckless?! Three times you risked it. How could you be so irresponsible?! Gods, the Mother herself must have watched over your children!”

Brienne raked her hand through her hair, shaking her head as she sent a prayer of thanks to the Mother and the Father for sparing Jaime's and Cersei's children from disability. Until another fact dashed to the front of her brain.

“Does her husband know?”

“No. No one knows but Tyrion...and you.”

“... _They_ don't know...”

“No.”

She turned to the windows.

“Brienne...it's fine.”

“No, it's not.”

Jaime sighed. “No, it's not. But it's the way it is.”  
Brienne shook her head, finally fully understanding why Jaime was who he was. All his life, she thought as she stared out the windows to the other tower, all his life he had given to his twin. She'd been the only woman he'd been with, the only one he had wanted...the one he had given children to. Children he could never claim, who he could never be a father to. She knew him well enough that it pained him.

“Why did you do it?” she asked gently. “You must have known it would only cause you pain to see them and never be allowed to be their father.”

“She wanted them to be mine”, he explained tonelessly.

She shook her head again.

 

_You were a fool. A fool in love._

 

“I get to be their uncle...though I've never been as close as I wanted to be. Cersei was afraid Robert would find out so I...had to keep my distance. Still have to. The dinners and a bit of online gaming is all I got. She never let me love them like I wanted to.”

His entire life...his heart thrown at a woman's feet who never wanted it...children fathered he never got to love...dear Mother...

Without a word Brienne stepped up to the windows and looked at him for a long while. He sat there, holding the phone to his ear, his other hand rolling a pen back and forth. Waiting. Like he always had. First for Cersei and now for her.

“I'm sorry”, Brienne finally managed to, “for everything you had to go through. I wish-”

It wasn't her place to criticise him.  


She wished he hadn't thrown his life away. She wished he'd never touched his twin sister. She wished he hadn't fathered children with her. She wished he would leave this sick family and go far away, where he could be free, where he could just be who he was. She wished...  


“I wished we would have met sooner.”

Jaime gulped at the other end of the line and nodded.

“Me, too, Brienne.” He swallowed hard, his voice began shaking. “I...guess you have to think things over now.”

Her heart clenched.

“I...I don't know”, she replied honestly. “I'm having a hard time processing all this.”

Jaime let out a breath. “I understand...Good night, Brienne.”

A dagger to her heart. Words so full of finality.

“Good night, Jaime.”

He hung up and she quickly stepped away before he could see her. She couldn't bare to look into his eyes right now. She wanted nothing more. She was hella confused and her head was swirling as she shut down her laptop and gathered her things.

At the door, after she had switched off the lights, she paused. She looked out into the dark hallway. Her feet wouldn't move. Brienne closed her eyes, let out a breath. With a fast beating heart she walked back to the windows, pressing her leather bag against her chest.

 

Jaime. Still at his desk. Hunched over. A hand pressed over his eyes. Shoulders twitching.

 A violent pain shooting through her heart.

The offices him around him were dark and somehow, it made him look even lonelier.

He was lonely, so lonely.

Tears gathered in her eyes. She knew what loneliness felt like. She might not know the details of his life-long affair, but she understood enough to know how hurt he was. And now he was crying. Afraid to lose his first friend since...maybe forever. He had never spoken of anyone enough to give the impression of a close friend. There was no one who was there for him, except for his brother, maybe. But she knew there was a breech there, caused by the events that happened when the Dark Lord wanted to get rid of Tyrion's wife. Jaime hadn't talked about it that much, which meant it had been bad.

Brienne sighed.

Gods, this family was one big mess, wasn't it? There could be therapeutic studies about them. Jaime's therapist alone must have gathered so much insights...

But Jaime wasn't a study. He was her friend. The man...the man she loved. Still loved. His past – as sick as it was – didn't change that...did it?

Right now Brienne couldn't feel the love. She was still numb from all the information. But it hurt to see him so sad and the sight followed her on her way home, into the shower and onto the couch where she ate her dinner. It felt wrong doing it without him. Usually, they would be on the phone right now. But Jaime hadn't called.

Did he get home safe? It was almost 10pm. Did he eat? Was he on the couch, staring at the turned off tv, as well?

As Brienne ate, her eyes darted to her mobile again and again.

She missed him.

She knew he was lonely and miserable. She knew he was afraid he'd lost her. She knew he felt for her. She knew she was special to him. Unbelievably so. The most beautiful man in Westeros wanted her. He wanted her so much he had just shared his biggest secret with her. He trusted her with this information, which could ruin the entire Lannister Clan.

 

_Jaime..._

 

After cleaning up and brushing her teeth, Brienne went straight to bed, staring at the empty pillow to her left, where he should lie.

...Where he _would_ lie. One day.

 

Yes. She still wanted him. She loved him. Maybe more than ever. Ignoring the incest vehemently, Brienne was impressed by the dedication and loyalty he had shown to Cersei. He had never left her, had stood by and watched how she married another, had watched the woman he loved in another man's arms, had given her children although he knew it would hurt him to not be their father.

What a man.

Only in her most secret dreams had she ever imagined to be loved like that. To have a man's entire heart and soul.

Could Jaime love her like that, as well?

The thought made Brienne's heart flutter in her chest and she closed her eyes.  
  
She wanted to be loved like that. Well, which person wouldn't?

And even if he couldn't love her so entirely, she would be grateful for any piece of his heart he'd be willing to give her. Jaime was a man like no other. She'd known that already. But she had had no idea how singular he actually was. A hard shell hiding an extremely gentle heart.

Not unlike herself, she mused. Although her shell wasn't half as hard as his. She'd never be as strong as him.

...Yet, she could love him like he had loved Cersei.

Brienne rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

If she allowed herself, her heart would be full of him within a minute and there would be no way to ever get him out again. It was bad enough already, with as much walls up as possible.

...But truth was, she wanted to let them fall. She wanted him in her arms, in her heart and in her soul.

 

_I would love him so good._

 

_I would love him better than any other woman ever could._

 

Yes, yes she would. She knew it in her heart. She would certainly love him better than Cersei. How could she have thrown him away? How could she not love that man with every fiber of her being?! 

...What if she did?

What if Cersei was jealous? Why else would she want to meet her? She hadn't much experience with jealous women, but according to movies she'd seen, that's what they did.

What if she wanted him back?

Would he go back to her? The mother of his children? The most beautiful woman in the world?

They were working together. He saw her every day.

 

_Fuck._

 

...No. No, Brienne thought, she wouldn't do drive herself crazy with jealousy. Fine, so Cersei was working with him. And yet Jaime and her had bonded. Had become friends. _Exclusive phone buddies._ They had talked about the future. They had talked about children, for heavens' sake.

He had been crying just a few hours ago cause he feared things were over between them.

Shit, he had been crying.

He needed her.

 

Brienne reached for her phone, took a deep breath and selected his contact. It rang so long she feared he might had fallen asleep already. She didn't hang up.

“Hey”, did he finally answer after what felt like the millionth ring.

“Hey.”

Awkward silence. Great.

“You didn't call.”

“I wasn't sure you'd pick up.”

“Jaime. I'll always pick up.”

“...Really?”

“Yes. So will you, won't you?”

“Always”, he vowed without hesitation.

“Always.”

Another silence.

“What did you have for dinner?”

“Instant noodles. Wasn't in the mood for cooking.”

Her heart clenched. Jaime not in the mood for cooking. This was serious.

“I hope you're in the mood when you're cooking for me on our first date.”

No reply.

“Jaime...” Gulping sound. “Jaime. Talk to me.”

He snorted. “Do you want to know more of my sins, wench? For I think you know them all now. It doesn't get worse than that.”

“Jaime, calm down.”

His voice was loud and tense and it sounded like he was pacing his wooden floor barefoot.

“Calm down?! How about you calm up?!”

“Jai-”

“How can you be so calm?! I had sex with my sister! My twin fucking sister! I fucked her from the age of 14 to 38! I fucked three, _three_ children into her! FUCK!”

Brienne had to pull the phone away from her ear.

“I'm a man who wasted his gods damned life on the crazy idea of loving his own fucking sister! I sinned as hard as possible. I will go to the seventh hell! That's the worst of them, Brienne! And if that isn't bad enough, after forty years I finally, finally fall in love again and what do I do?! I tell you! I tell you that I'm an incestuous pervert! Why did I do that?! Cersei certainly won't tell you! She will insult you, give you her death glare and that will be it! She won't come up to you and say 'hey, heard you're interested in my brother. I had his children. Have a good day!'! Then why?! Why did I tell you?! I know I'm the stupidest Lannister, but that's even stupid for me! Gods, why did I ruin this?!”

The loud crunch of leather. Apparently, Jaime had thrown himself down onto his couch.

“Finally”, he said, apparently done screaming, “I had something good. I thought...I thought I could finally have a life of my own. A good life...with you...”

A muffled scream, a sigh, then silence.

“Are you finished?”

“...Yes”, he sighed.

“Boy, you're the most dramatic Lannister, too.”

“Pah!” was all that came as a reply. Brienne chortled.

“Can I talk now?”

“Honestly, it baffles me that you're still on the phone.”

“Listen to me, old man. You are not alone. You will never be again. I'm your friend. I will always be your friend.”

“But you won't be my love.” His voice cracked. “You will never fall for me now. You'll never kiss me or let me hold you. You will never marry me. You won't have children with me.”

Brienne's heart beat faster, clenched, and beat even faster. There was a lot going on in her chest.

“Try me.”

“W-What?”

The tone in his voice made her smile. “I said 'try me'. The first thing I'll do once we're married is to take you to an ear doctor.”

“How can you make jokes about this?”

“I'm not. You definitely need an ear examination.”

Jaime let out an odd sound, something between a snort and a sob.

“Brienne-”

“Jaime. Although I can't even begin to wrap my head around your...relationship with your sister and honestly, I don't want to, it doesn't stop me from...”, _not on the phone!_ ,”hoping that one day...you'll be a Tarth.”

“A Tarth...” he said almost reverently. “Jaime Tarth...has a nice ring to it.”

“I think so.”

Her heart wasn't pounding, no no. It always beat this frantically.

“Get it? _Ring_?”

“Yes, Jaime. Very clever.” She rolled her eyes and smiled.

A pause that was somehow soothing her nerves.

“Thank you”, the sweetest Lannister said eventually.

“For what?”

“For everything. For listening. For not running away...For still wanting to be with me.”

“I can't imagine not wanting to be with you”, she confessed shyly, only because she knew that he needed to feel loved right now.

“Neither can I...my love.”

“Say it again.”

“My love. My sweetling. My everything.”

Brienne laughed. “You're an idiot.”

“I'm romantic!”

“Isn't that the same thing?”

“Probably.”

“Let's go to bed. I'm tired.”

“Yes, let's.”

Brienne listened to his footsteps and the rustling of his sheets as he lay down. Jaime let out one of those old man sighs and she did not let this opportunity go to waste to tease him about it. He'd trained her well.

“Right now I feel a hundred years old”, he admitted and let out another one of those sighs. “You've exhausted me.”

“Technically, you've exhausted yourself.”

“...Yeah...are you sure you're alright with this?”

“Jaime-”

“No, seriously. You can't just be fine with this. _I'm_ not fine with it. There's not one day where I don't regret it.”

“Really? Everything?”  
“Yes.”

“...What about your children?”

“They aren't mine. They're my blood and that is all.”

“But they wouldn't exist without you.”

“...I guess.”

“At least something good came out of it.”

“Brienne Tarth, trying to make me feel better about my incestuous relationship with my twin sister. Only you would do that.”

“I just don't want you to be unhappy.”

“And I love you for it.”

Brienne couldn't help the gasp as his words reached her brain.

“...Fuck.”

“Fuck?”

“I didn't want to tell you on the phone. I wanted to look into your beautiful eyes when I told you for the first time. To see if you feel the same. Sansa said your eyes always tell the truth.”

“ _I_ always tell the truth. At least I try.”

“I know. _TheBlueKnight_.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

Half a smile spread on her lips. She snuggled further into the pillow. Azora was already rolled up at the foot of the bed, sleeping. She watched her for a while, trying to process that on top of it all, Jaime had just told her that he loved her.

“Bri,” his voice trickled through her like warm summer rain, “I know I'm a needy lion today but...never mind.”

He sighed. Brienne rolled onto her back and looked out of her window, watching the stars twinkle in the dark.

“It's just been some stupid phone calls”, she whispered.

How had this happened? How had she fallen in love with a man she had never met? How could she know him better than herself? All they had ever done is talk and yell at each other, cried with each other, shared their darkest chapters with each other. Jaime knew more about her than anyone else.

And the funny thing was, it didn't scare her anymore. She wanted this. She wanted him. More than anything.

“You're my best friend”, she said softly, gazing at the night sky. “I trust you, Jaime. With all my heart.”

“I love you, Brienne.”

Warmth filled her body, her heart and her soul. She was loved. That's who it felt. She smiled as a few tears rolled down her temples.

“I believe you.”

 

That was the last thing they said to each other. Nothing else was needed. They fell asleep, in different beds, but their thoughts were much the same.

 

Love. They'd finally found it.

 

The next morning, Jaime gave her a short briefing of what to expect of the meeting with his father and sister. He sounded more nervous than she was. Somehow, it calmed her.

“You're the one I want, Brienne. Never doubt that. They'll try to make you doubt me.”

“I won't”, she promised, ensured him she'd be fine and hung up to prepare for the day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took the easy road with this one. Cersei can't be ignored, she is such an important part of him, so she had to be dealt with. But I'm aware it all very mild. It's still supposed to be a romantic comedy...mostly.  
> What do you think of Brienne's reaction? Did I let him off the hook too easily? Honestly, how would you react if your lover told you something like that? 
> 
> ...And can we please talk about the fact that twins have three healthy children?!


	13. In the lion's den

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Dark Lord Lannister

Her heart thundering against her ribcage. Her step as silent as possible. Her eyes darting everywhere, in fear - and hope - to see him.

Brienne was so frightened to see Jaime that she didn’t even notice the stares of the people in the glass cubicles she passed as she followed Pia through the hallway clutching her folder, her father’s leather bag rhythmically bumping against her thigh like his big hand had often done when she had been nervous as a child/teenager. Unfortunately, it didn’t sooth her now.

“Here we are, Miss Tarth. Mr. Lannister will be here shortly. Would you like something to drink? There’s water in the meeting room, but I could fix you a coffee, cappuccino, a Latte perhaps?”  
“No, thank you.”

Brienne forced her eyes to stop looking around and focus on Pia. Pod’s girlfriend smiled at her. It was a pretty and honest smile.

“Don’t worry. I locked him into his office.”

Brienne’s eyes widenend.

“Just kidding”, Pia laughed and gestured for Brienne to step into the meeting room. “He locked himself in”, she winked and left, closing the door.

Brienne blinked at the dark wood, thinking of Jaime, how he was probably pacing the floor or scratching the door like the lion he was.

_Don’t be ridiculous_ , Brienne huffed at herself and rounded the long table to take a seat in the middle, _Jaime is not a lovesick teenager who can’t bear to be apart from you_.

She took a deep breath and opened her folder, pushing every thought of Jaime Lannister far away from her mind as she went through her notes, mentally going through the conversation she had simulated in her head. She always did that, trying to come up with every possible variation of how a conversation with a client/supplier/business partner would go. It helped to calm herself.

When the door finally opened and the Dark Lord marched into the meeting room, though, her breath got stuck in her throat nonetheless. And when the beautiful blonde followed, her heart stopped beating.

 

Cersei Baratheon.

 

‘ _I loved her.’_

‘ _The children are mine.’_

‘ _She never let me love them.’_

 

She gaped at her like a cow for a moment, then the piercing eyes of Tywin Lannister made her jump out of her chair. Fighting the heat in her cheeks, she reached out her hand.

The Dark Lord took it and for a moment Brienne was surprised that his skin was warm. Somehow her brain had assumed his hand would feel like ice. Silly.

They sat and Brienne began her report of the status of their system and the new IT-security, trying as usual to use casual terms a none professional could understand. She tried very hard to ignore the lioness’ amused smirk.

As soon as Brienne paused to take a breath, Cersei Baratheon snickered.

“She thinks you’re too old to know what a firewall is, Father.”

Tywin glared first at his daughter, then at her.

“I mean no offense, sir”, Brienne hurried to explain, “judging from experience, using layman’s terms is easier for everyone. I could bore you with more technical details, if you wish.”

His stare was piercing, calculating.

“But with all due respect”, Brienne added, understanding the challenge of these two people very well, “your former IT-structure and the fact I had to explain to your son how online shopping works tells me that you’re not very familiar with the technical side of these things. Which is why I focused on the benefits for your company.”

Cersei Baratheon's eyes became flying daggers. Tywin Lannister’s expression was unreadable.

“Why did you help us?” he suddenly asked.

Brienne frowned.

“I don’t understand”, she said, confused, “this is my business.”

Tywin’s jaw clenched.

“Your company is quite small and yet the challenge of the crashed servers of a billion dragon company didn’t scare you?”

“Of course not. It’s not the first time we had to work on an emergency schedule. Not on that scale, granted, but we never shy away from a challenge. Also, you needed help, and we could help. So we did.”

“My son called you.”

“Yes.”

Brienne had no idea where this was going, but suddenly there was a chill in the air and Cersei Baratheon glared with flashing her teeth...or she might have imagined that. Brienne tried very hard not to think of the fact that this woman had kissed, held and loved Jaime for years. Her own twin, yuk.

_No, don't go there. Focus on your work. You're in the lion's den. You have to stay alert. Jaime loves you._

“Why?” Lannister asked.

“You should ask him.”

“I’m asking you.”

Why did this smell like a trap? A trap for what? For her? For Jaime? She didn’t like this.

“I possibly can’t know your son's motivation. All I can say is that we were acquainted and that he knew about Tarth Digital. After the system crashed he called me and asked for my help.”

Two pairs of green eyes scanning her closely. Brienne felt a blush crawling up her skin and begged her body to stop.

“You’ve talked before. The day the system crashed.”

_What the fuck?! Did they check Jaime’s phone calls? What for?_

“Yes.”

“Did he discuss our situation with you?”

Shit. The Dark Lord was asking if Jaime had given away company secrets?!

“Are you talking about the situation that has been discussed in the media for several months now?”

Brienne was quite proud having thought of that retort. Tywin’s jaw clenched as well as his interlaced fingers on the table.

“Did he give you inside information on the situation?”

“He told me that he suspected you were still losing money.” _Sorry, Jaime. It’s as vague as I can be._

“He asked for my opinion and I advised to check for viruses in your system. Which turned out to be the case.”

A spark in Lannister’s eyes.

_Oh oh._

“So you advised him to delete the virus?”

_You fucking asshole! Now you want to put the blame on me?!!_

“No. I just told him to check and give me another call if he needs further help.”

“That’s not what Jaime said”, Cersei chimed in.

What in the seven hells was going on here?!

_Stay calm_ , she heard the voice of her father in her head.

_They will try to manipulate you_ , she heard Jaime, _i_ _t’s what they do best._

Brienne remained quiet and looked back at these vicious predators with as much calm as her pounding heart allowed.

“Jaime said he had the virus deleted on your advice”, Cersei continued.

“That’s not true”, Brienne said slowly to keep her voice steady, “he has publicly taken full responsibility for the crash of your system. Several times.”  
A hard line appeared around Cersei’s mouth.

“Obviously he tried to protect you.”

“Why would he?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out.”

Brienne frowned, anger sizzling beneath her skin.

“I thought you wanted an update on our progress. This is what I’m here for and this is what I will gladly talk about. However, if you’re trying to put the blame for your system crash on T _arth Digital_ in spite of the fact that your son has already acknowledged his mistake, I think we should talk about the termination of our business relationship.”

_Take that, assholes!_

“You would risk your reputation over hurt feelings?”, the Dark Lord asked, almost sounding amused. “Leaving _LBS_ in the middle of the IT-restructure you have initiated?”

Brienne tried to suppress it, but her typical scowl formed on her head.

“I don’t mean to be rude, Mr. Lannister, but I honestly believe that at this point, no one in KL would blame _Tarth Digital_ for walking away from _LBS_. Except your stockholders, perhaps. But they are your concern, not mine.”

_There, old man. Money. That's is the language you understand, isn’t it?_

Just now did Brienne fully realize how much _LBS_ depended on _Tarth Digital_. Their business-relation had restored some of the faith of the stockholders. The stocks were going up again. Their IT-structure was being re-built on their advice and with their system. If _Tarth Digital_ walked away now, the chaos they were trying to fix would return full force. That could not be in _LBS_ ’ interest, so she had no frogging idea what the Dark Lord was doing.

Maybe Jaime was right and he was just lashing out in fear of losing everything he had built.

“Why don’t we go back to the progress of the restructure? I have only good news, which is something I think all of us need right now.”

A peace-offering. Brienne had no interest in making an enemy of _LBS_. They were a client, after all, and even though Tywin Lannister was an arrogant piece of shit, she wanted to help the company and the people who worked here.

After another piercing look and a clench of his jaw, the CEO of _LBS_ nodded.

“Continue”, he said in an even voice, as if he hadn’t just threatened to destroy her company.

Brienne nodded and continued her report.

 

In layman’s terms.

 


	14. A thief in a temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of the release of the final GOT trailer! Woop woop!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next one are probably my favorites in the whole story. It was the second or third scene I've written and I had great fun. I hope you enjoy it, too. :)
> 
> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments on the last two chapters. I will respond, I'm just really tired at the moment and my brain is mush.

When it was finally over almost two hours later and the Dark Lord and the Ice Queen – as she should henceforth be named - filed out of the meeting room with firm handshakes and fake smiles, Pia materialized at her side.

“How did it go?”

Brienne paled.

“I need a bathroom.”

Pia’s eyes widened, then she hurried down the hall. They just made it in time for Brienne to throw up her lunch.

Nothing she hadn’t anticipated, so after it was done she washed her face and brushed her teeth with the toothbrush she had brought along.

Pia was waiting for her outside.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, thank you.”

The pretty brunette gave her a look-over, then she nodded and a smile bloomed on her face. She gestured for Brienne to follow her. She guided her back to the elevators, but instead of down, Pia pressed a floor higher up.

Brienne’s breath got stuck in her throat. The smaller woman heard it.

“Don’t worry. He’s gone home. Couldn’t stand it anymore. Told me to call him if you looked upset after the meeting. Were they really trying to screw you over?”

Brienne averted her gaze. She really didn’t want to cause more drama in this company.

“Thought they would. They’re making all the wrong decisions now”, Pia shook her head and exited the elevator.

“Where are we going?” Brienne asked.

Pia just smiled and winked over her shoulder. They passed a long corridor with closed doors and golden plaques next to them, stating names, positions and departments. Before she could read the plaque on the door at the end of the hallway, Brienne realized where they were going.

Her heart started thundering.

“I-I can’t -“

“Don’t worry. He really is gone.”

“Then why -?“

They’d reached the front room with Pia’s desk and several shelves full of books and folders on the right side of the door and a small seating area with black leather chairs and a glass coffee table on the left. Everything looked neat and expensive.

Without a glance in her direction Pia grabbed a key from the chain dangling from her belt and unlocked the door to Jaime Lannister’s office.

Then she finally turned and gave her a smile that made Brienne blush furiously.

“I thought you might want to see it from another perspective.”

Pia pushed the door open. Brienne held her breath.

Her eyes went wide. She half expected him to be there, sitting at his big desk, looking up from some papers, smiling at her, and was half relieved and half disappointed when his black leather chair was empty.

“Stay as long as you want. Would you like something to drink?”  
Brienne shook her head automatically, taking the first tentative steps into Jaime’s territory, her eyes wide, taking everything in.

“If you change your mind, I think he still has something in the mini-bar.”

The door fell close behind her and she flinched.

 

_Jaime. Jaime._

 

Gods, he was everywhere. She saw him in every knot in the crimson carpet, in the half-turned chair, the folders on his desk, the book not fully pushed into the shelf.

Brienne inhaled deeply, closed her eyes and tried to separate his scent from the other aromas that filled her nose. Wood. Leather. A faint smell of coffee. Paper. Office. A hint of man's cologne.

 

_Jaime…_

 

Biting her lip, she put her folder down on the couch next to the door as well as her leather bag. She stood rooted to the spot, taking it all in. It felt like stepping into a sacred old temple or something. Being here felt so…heavenly private.

 

_Just you and me, my love._

 

Brienne walked to his desk, glancing out of the windows on her way, trying to find her office, smiling as she spied the table and her ceiling. His perspective…

When she reached the desk it captured all her attention. With a melancholy smile she touched the surface and let her fingers slide over the polished wood as she rounded the desk.

How she wished he was sitting in it as she touched the backrest of his chair, wished he would be here and smile up at her with hungry eyes, his hands reaching out, sliding up her thighs, around her hips to pull her down onto his lap.

With a sigh, Brienne sat down in the leather seat, instead. Her eyes fell close and she turned her head to brush her cheek where his head usually rested when they were speaking on the phone, her fingers gently wandering along the armrests, curling around the rounded ends.

 

_Jaime. Jaime. Jaime._

 

Brienne needed a moment to compose herself, to not melt into a puddle of need and longing.

Eventually, she forced her eyes open and looked around his desk. A smile spread on her lips as she took his black and gold fountain pen and put the cap on it.

The traces in front of her proved Pia’s statement that he had left in a hurry. There was a blotch of ink on the black leather desk pad, possibly from when he had thrown the pen down and jumped out of his chair. His black laptop was still on, the sound of the vents giving it away.

_Drama queen_ , she thought with a smile, then reminded herself that she wasn’t fairing much better now with her pounding heart and her dreamy sighs, silent or not.

Brienne touched everything on his desk, let her fingers slide gently, wishing to touch skin instead of wood, paper, plastic and leather. It was ridiculous, really. But oh so wonderful.

Involuntarily, she started tidying up. She hated a messy desk. She couldn’t even remember how many lectures she had given Arya on how to keep her desk tidy, how much easier and more efficient her work was when everything was organized. From the looks of it she had to give Jaime the same lecture next time they spoke.

Hesitating only a moment, she completely re-arranged his desk. His monitor was first, being placed in front of the seat instead on the side where he constantly had to crane his neck which wasn’t good for his posture. It itched in her fingers to rearrange the cables of his hardware, but she had no zip ties.

It took several minutes until everything was to her satisfaction. Jaime would probably scold her for messing with his stuff, but right now, she didn’t care. Maybe she had just wanted an excuse to touch his things. Maybe he’d say this to her with one of those boyish smirks that made stupid butterflies dance around in her belly.

Now there was nothing left for her to do. But the thought of leaving made her sad. She didn’t want to leave him, yet.

Her eyes fell on the two yellow post-it pads, one large, the small one on top. She bit her lip, then reached out for the small one and the fountain pen.

She drew a smiley face and stuck it to his monitor frame, looked at it for a moment.

Then she took another post-it, wrote ' **It’s better for your posture, old man** ', and stuck it to the frame, as well.

More notes followed:

**All these dark colors are depressing. How can you work like this?** **-** She stuck that to the upper corner of his leather desk pad.

**< -** **Tarth Digital on speed dial 1. Wise choice.** – That went on his large phone, next to the first button in a long row, the name of her company scribbled on a tiny square piece of paper under a clear plastic lid next to it.

**BOO!** – That went beneath his desk pad, which he’d probably never see, but oh well.

**CHOCOHOLIC!!!!** – she stuck that on the inside of the door of his mini-bar.

**I stole a mini muffin XD** – Brienne had to add a minute later.

**You should get a new laptop. It’s old, like you.** – Obviously, that went on his laptop.  
  


There were more messages of sweet nothings she hid around his entire office for him to find, hoping it would cheer him up the moment he did. After she had drawn a heart on another post-it, Brienne paused.

 

_Love._

 

She let out a breath. The tips of her index finger retraced the line. Gnawing on the inside of her cheek, Brienne stuck the heart to the last page of the larger pad of post-its.

It should take a while before he found that. Maybe they would be together by then, really together...

Her last deed was to put a blue _Tarth Digital_ pen into his pencil cup. She always carried some around. A spark of sapphire blue among a sea of black and gold.

_Enough now_ , she called herself to reason and pushed the chair beneath the desk. With a last lingering touch she pulled her hand away from the backrest. She was halfway to the couch to pick up her things when her eyes fell on the bathroom door to her left.

 

No. No, she shouldn’t.

 

Suddenly, her hand was on the handle, pressing it down, pulling it open. She felt like a stalker while her eyes drank in the little room complete with shower and toilet, which she hadn't seen before from the perspective of her office.

When she spotted a suit hanging on a simple rack to her left, she let out an embarrassing gasp.

  


His suit. His pants. His jacket. His shirt.

 

His shirt.

 

Brienne was watching herself from above as, without thinking about it for one damned second, she shrugged out of her black suit jacket and unbuttoned her cornflower blue shirt, her eyes never leaving his white one, as if it would vanish the moment she let it out of her sight. She didn’t even close the damn door as she pulled off her blouse, only wearing a simple black bra underneath. Placing her shirt on top of her jacket lying across the sink, Brienne grabbed Jaime’s crisp white shirt, her brain empty until she had put it on and closed the last button. It was a bit tight around the shoulders, but other than that it fit perfectly. Feeling the expensive cotton on her bare skin made her shiver as she pushed it into her black trousers. With a fast beating heart she hung her shirt on the hanger and covered it with his suit jacket, not really knowing why. Who else would come in here but him?

_Well, you’re here_ , did her inner voice mutter, which made her blush and hasten to put on her own suit jacket and leave the bathroom.

Brienne felt like a thief as she slung her leather bag over her shoulder and grabbed her folder. She tried a calming breath, but it felt like her shirt was staring at her through the bathroom door, so she hastened out of Jaime’s office. The door fell close behind her with a thud. Pia raised her head.

 

_Please don’t notice it._

 

Pia’s brown eyes darted to her blouse.

 

_Fuck._

 

“Clever. I have to do that with Pod. I’m sure it will drive him wild.” With a smirk Pia rose and led her down the hallway to the elevators.

“He’s madly in love with you”, Pia said, making Brienne’s heart stutter, “I’ve never seen him like today. He was half out of his mind. It was kind of cute.”

The brunette glanced over her shoulder, obviously waiting for a comment. Brienne had none. The feeling of his shirt against her skin was consuming her every thought.

“You’re really good for him. He’s one of those who need someone in their lives, someone to get up for in the morning. More than anything else he’s a lover.”

_How the heck would she know? Did they…?_

“Don’t worry”, Pia said as if she had read her thoughts, “he’s all yours. Been so from the very first call, I think. Loyal as a dog, that one. That’s the only reason I work for him.”

They were at the elevators now and Pia turned to her after she had pressed the button.

“He needs strong women in his life. We’ve got his back.”

She smiled. Brienne tried a smile, very uncomfortable talking about this with a woman she hardly knew, and stared at the golden elevator doors, willing it to move faster.

“I can always tell when you talked”, Pia continued, apparently not done gushing about this. “I can even tell if it went well or not. But it mostly goes well these days.” Again, that knowing smile.

_Where the heck is that elevator?!_

Finally, the ding. The doors slid open. Brienne almost jumped into the cabin.

“Goodbye, Miss Tarth.”

“Goodbye, Pia.”

The assistant only chuckled and shook her head. The doors closed and Brienne stared at her reflection in the polished metal, pressing her folder against his shirt, shielding it from view so no one would take away her treasure.

  
Brienne wasn't home long when her phone began dinging like crazy. Jaime, texting her with a million questions and worries. She called him...in his shirt. It warmed her skin as soon as she heard Jaime's voice.

She was a thief and not one bit ashamed of it.

“Do you hate me now?” was the first thing he said. Brienne rolled his eyes.

“You're a drama queen. No, I don't hate you.”

“How did it go?” His voice sounded so worried, sweet man.

“Not as bad as you'd made me believe it would. It was fine. No casualties.”

“Not funny. What did my father say? What did she say? Did she say anything?”

Brienne's heart skipped a beat. _Incest, Incest, Incest,_ did it scream inside her head, but she ignored it and curled her fingers around her cotton treasure. Cersei Baratheon wasn't the only one anymore who had something from him.

“Yes, Jaime,” Brienne sighed, trying to go for humorous, “she gave a detailed report on your preferences in the bedroom, right in front of your father.”

“Not funny”, Jaime growled.

“Was it horrible?” he asked then in a serious, apologetic tone.

“It's over”, she answered gently. “Stop thinking about it.”

“No,” Jaime objected, “I can't. I have to know, Brienne, or it'll drive me crazy. I don't want them to hurt you. If they did -”

“Jaime, stop. I'm still alive. We are still business partners. That's all that matters.”

A heavy breath from the other end of the line.

“Brienne”, he said in a tone that was half plead, half order. So she caved and gave him a detailed report of the meeting, sitting on her couch, her fingers playing with one button of Jaime's shirt. It was ridiculous how much it soothed her to wear it.

“I'm sorry”, came the expected apology after she had finished.

“It's not your fault, Jaime. Believe it or not, I had difficult meetings before. I learned to not take it personally. Because it wasn't, Jaime. That had nothing to do with me. They were just trying to save their reputation. Granted, their tactic lagged every grace and frankly, sense, but it's nothing uncommon. Many managers make the wrong decisions under pressure, sadly. But it's over, we moved past this.”

“You know”, Jaime croaked, “you might be the most professional person I've ever met. Except for Olenna Tyrell, maybe.”

“That's hard to believe, but thank you. You're professional, too. You're doing a good job.”

He sighed. “I was out of my mind today. It took me every bit of willpower not to march into the meeting room and quit and run away with you.”

Brienne smiled. “You're forty years old, Jaime. Is running still possible?”

“Shut up, wench”, Jaime snorted.

She wanted to kiss his lips, his nose, every inch of his stupidly handsome face.

“Will you stop driving yourself crazy?”

“No. You don't know my family, don't know what they're capable of.”

“Jaime, everything will be fine. I'm not going anywhere, I promise.”

She heard him gulp.

“I want to hold you in my arms”, he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. “I want to kiss you. I want to go away with you, somewhere where they'll never find us.”

Brienne frowned. She couldn't understand his irrational fear. They were adults. What the seven hells could the Dark Lord do if his son wanted to date her?

“What exactly did your father do to Tyrion and his girlfriend?”

There was a long pause.

“Horrible things. Things he should be in prison for.”

The words, the tone of his voice – it sent an icy shiver down her spine.

“I promised Tysha to never speak of it, so I won't. She endured it all, never gave up on him.”

“Neither will I, Jaime.”

“Brienne...”

Never had her name sounded more beautiful than when he said it. His voice was so full of longing. Her heart ached for him and she felt bad that she had a token from him whereas he had nothing but her voice.  
She soothed him again, promised that everything would be fine, that his father nor anyone else would take her away from him.

They went to bed together and she requested a video call. They looked at each other for a long while. When his eyes finally drooped, she whispered: “I'm here, Jaime. Go to sleep.”

And so he did.

With a smile, Brienne turned off the camera but left the line open, listening to his even breathing as she snuggled into her pillow and closed her eyes.  
  


She slept in his shirt that night, her dreams full of him, full of them, together on Tarth, at their private little beach below Evenfall Hall, bathing in sunlight, holding each other, kissing, making love until they sun set and the moon and stars came out, making their skin glow with silver light.

 


	15. How to drive a lion wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get steamy at LBS, Inc.

Wanting to be earlier in the office than Jaime this morning, Brienne skipped the hour in which she usually sat on her balcony reading the news and drinking a cup of coffee.

Arya eyed her suspiciously when she exited the elevator.

“Did the Lannisters try anything? You want me to kill them?”

Brienne laughed until the serious glare of her dark eyes made her stop.

“Um, no. It went as expected.”

“Then why are you here already?”

Arya simply didn’t acknowledge authority. It was irritating as well as charming.

“To work on the new project _‘that’s none of your business so shut up’_.”

Arya grunted. “I know you fancy him, Brie. Everyone knows. I never thought you’d turn into one of those stupid hens gawking at him at every opportunity.”

Sometimes it was easy to forget how clever Arya was due to her young age. Always pretending to be disinterested, but somehow seeing everything.

“I-It’s not like that. At all”, Brienne defended herself.

“U-huh.” Arya sat down and ignored her. Brienne sighed inwardly and walked to her office. She had lost some respect and it hurt more than Brienne wanted to admit to herself.

After she made herself a cup of coffee in the kitchen, Brienne went into her office. Putting the mug on her desk she booted her laptop and logged onto their operating system. She opened her e-mails and sorted them by priority. Her eyes flew to the clock on the bottom of her screen.

_Too early._

She double-checked some sequences, checked the clock.

_Still early._

Logged onto the test system and ran some process tests. Checked the clock.

_He could be in already._

Arya’s disapproving look.

Jaime’s shirt against her skin.

_Damn it all._

Brienne stood up and checked his office. Still empty. Jaime had been sleepy this morning, feeling like shit as he had told her. His good morning hadn't been very enthusiastic. Maybe he had gone back to sleep?

With a huff Brienne clicked her laptop out of the docking station and carried it to the small table by the window. Got her cup of coffee and her headset, settled down and continued to work, glancing up ever so often.

She was in the middle of typing an e-mail to one of her clients when movement caught her eye. Her heart skipped several beats when Jaime finally entered his office, Pia following him with a cup in her hands. She nearly ran into him when Jaime stopped dead, noticing the changes on his desk. Brienne watched him turn to Pia, his mouth moving. Pia glanced up to her window. Jaime’s eyes followed.

Her heart stopped beating entirely. Maybe she had a heart-condition. She probably should have that checked.

In spite of the worry for her health, Brienne smiled. Jaime’s lips parted and he stared at her with a look she couldn’t identify.

Meanwhile Pia walked around him, put the cup of coffee onto his desk and made her exit with a smile to Brienne and a squeeze of Jaime’s arm. When the door fell closed, Jaime turned his head to look at it for a moment. Then he stared at the floor. Finally, at his desk.

His steps were almost hesitant and Brienne couldn’t help but being reminded of her own hesitance last night.

With a glance in her direction, Jaime rounded his desk. Brienne bit her lip…and was relieved when a smile spread on his face as he saw the yellow post-its. He touched every single one of them, that smile a constant on his face.

He lifted the post-it from his laptop and laughed, his eyes finding hers.

He shook his head.

She grinned like the idiot she was.

Jaime reached for his headset and then for his phone, laughing again as he read the post-it sticking to speed dial 1 before he pressed the button. As it rang, Brienne put her headset in her ear and answered the call.

“Stop calling me old, wench”, was the first thing he said to her.

“Well, technically you’re-“

“In the prime of life.”

Brienne just laughed. Jaime gave her the finger. Then he plopped down in his chair and Brienne knew how this felt, how comfortable the chair was, how the leather creaked under weight.

“You’ve been here. You’ve been in my office…and rearranged my stuff.”

“It was already liked that when I got there.”

Jaime chuckled. “You’re the worst liar in the world. I can hear it even through the phone, so don’t try. Furthermore, this lovely note gives you away.”

He peeled off the second post-it from the monitor frame.

“You can’t possibly prove that it was me.”

“No one else calls me old, wench.”

“Really?!”

The disbelief in her voice made him give her the finger again. Brienne laughed and grinned at him.

“I normally don’t like surprises but this…”, he shook his head, looking around his desk.

“You’re so sweet”, he whispered into the speaker and lifted the post-it still sticking to the tips of his fingers to his lips – and kissed it.

“Brienne…sweetling…”

Her heart skipped a beat at the longing in his voice.

“You’ve been here…”

He rubbed the yellow paper against his nose with closed eyes, then suddenly he chuckled.

“I’m being an idiot.”

With another peck he put the note into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and tenderly picked up every single one of the notes on his desk, all but the one with the smiley face. After he was done he leaned back and turned his face to her, his cheek brushing the leather where her cheek had brushed it yesterday.

“I’ll keep them safe. Here.” He placed his hand on top of his suit jacket; on top of his heart. Brienne tried not to read into it – and failed miserably.

“There are more”, she said, trying to get her heartbeat under control.

“Really?” He looked around his desk.

“I admit I had a field-day with the notes. They are everywhere.”

“I will find them all.”

“I sincerely doubt it.”

“Challenge accepted, wench.”

They smiled at each other. Then simply stared, wishing the other were with them, in their arms.

“Thank you, sweetling. It made my day.”

“The day barely begun.”

“And yet I already know this was the best part of it.”  
Brienne wanted to kiss him. Feel him.

“I want to kiss you so bad right now”, Jaime breathed into the speaker, “Pia should have locked you in so that I could finally,  _finally_  put my lips on you. My hands on you.”

The air around her warmed, his tone made her skin tingle and her nipples rise, just like always. When he spoke like this it was so easy to forget everything else. When he spoke like this she fully believed that he craved her as much as she craved him.

“I left something else for you”, she whispered, her heart thundering in her chest. “In the bathroom.”

For a moment, he stared at the door, then he rose and walked over to it.

Brienne held her breath as he opened it – he froze.

“Seven hells”, he cursed and stepped into the bath, closing the door behind him.

“Seven hells”, he whispered once more and then she heard metallic clanking, rustling and a moan that sent a flash of lightning into her crotch.

“What are you doing to me?” Jaime panted, his voice muffled. She heard him inhale deeply.

“Gods. I can smell you. Fuck, Brienne…Brienne…”

He inhaled again and Brienne could almost feel his nose against her throat.

“You smell like apple and lemon and the sea…fuck.”

He cursed once more, then groaned.

“What are you doing to me? You are making me sniff your shirt like a fucking bloodhound, you are making me act like a foolish teenage boy, fuck. Fuck this.”

He moaned and inhaled again.

“Brienne…”

“Jaime”, she whispered back on reflex, answering his call. It was primal and raw, but every fiber of her being was pulled into that bathroom with him, where he had his face buried in the shirt she had worn yesterday.

He groaned.

“Gods, I’m aching for you. I’m so fucking hard for you.”

Brienne gasped from the violent shudder running through her.

“I want you, Brienne. I want to hold you, kiss you, touch you everywhere. I want to kiss every freckle on your skin. I _will_ kiss each and every single one of them, sweetling. Until they're all mine. Until you're mine. All mine. Mine...Brienne...fuck, you smell so fucking good.”

He moaned again.

“Do you have freckles on your breasts, sweetling?” he asked hoarsely, making her shiver.

“Jaime!”

“Tell me. Please. Gods, I need to know. I need something for my fantasies or I'll go insane. Please. What do your nipples look like? Do you shave? Wax? Are you blonde between your legs, too? Gods, your legs. I love your legs. And your ass. I can't even tell you how much I want to bite into your gorgeous ass, Brienne Tarth.”

He groaned, inhaled, and groaned again. The sound of a zipper struck her like lightning.

“Brienne, sweetling...please, please talk to me. I need you.”

Shiver after shiver ran down her spine. Oh, that man. Her sweet, sweet man.

“Jaime...my love, I-I can't. I can't do this. Not here. Not now. I'm sorry. So sorry.”

He groaned, the sound so pained it broke her heart.

“Gods you're right. What am I doing?! I'm sorry, Brie. I'm going mad. You smell so lovely and I'm...I'm a horny dog. I'm so sorry. Just give me a second to calm down and I-”

“No”, Brienne interjected. He was so embarrassed. She could hear how much he needed her right now, how much he longed for her. He'd been so patient with her, he'd been so lovely and sweet and generous, she couldn't let him down now.

For once, she would be brave.

“Don't-don't stop, Jaime.”

“What?”

“I...”, _oh gooood_ , “I want you to keep going...”

“What?!”

“I want you to...” _oh, for heaven's sake, just be sexy for once in your stupid life!_ “I want you to stroke yourself f-for me.”  
  
If there was a power outage right now, her glowing red face would have been seen in all of King's Landing. Planes could use her head as a beacon to find their way through fogs and storms.

“I can't do that...”, Jaime whispered, his voice weak and insecure.

“Yes, sweetling. Yes, you can.”

“Not alone, Brienne. Please, do it with me.”

“I can't, Jaime. Not here.”

“Then I won't either. We'll wait. Tonight in bed we-”

“No. No, I want it now.”

Jaime groaned and inhaled her scent.

“It's embarrassing doing it alone”, he whispered, his voice muffled by her shirt.

“You're not alone”, she whispered, the world around her falling away. All she heard was his heavy breathing, all she saw was the door to the bathroom. “I'm right here, Jaime. Wanting you so bad.”

“Brienne.”

Jaime moaned, his breathing coming even shorter and she knew...heaven, he was doing it. Stroking his cock. For her.

_Maiden!_

“Talk to me”, he begged.

Brienne squirmed in her seat, her panties sticking to her crotch.

“I-I don't know what to say.”

“Tell me you want me. Tell me you crave me. Tell me you need me. Tell me you want my cock inside of you.”

Her face was burning by now, so was her crotch, but it was doubtlessly the sexiest moment of her life and Jaime was so desperate for her that somehow, she pushed all her anxieties deep, deep down.

“I want you, Jaime. So much. I want...I want to know what your mouth tastes like. I want to kiss you. I want your tongue...I...”   
  
_Oh, there go bravery bye bye._  
  
She could hear his panting breath, could hear some of his...movements.  
“What? What?”

Brienne gulped.

“I...” _deep breath and go!_ “I want your tongue to lick every inch of me.” _Oh dear Maiden!_ “And I...I want to lick yours. I want to...” _gods I'm going to faint_ “I want to...lick your...your cock, Jaime. I want to put it in my mouth a-and suck on it...I want to make you happy.”

“Gods, yes, Brienne. Brienne...”, he was panting desperately, “Brienne!”

The way he called for her, heavens, it echoed within her body, sending her into a state that made her forget that she was sitting at a full-length window only a street away from another building with countless offices facing her way.

“You're so beautiful, Jaime. So sexy. I loved being in your office. I sat in your chair, wishing you were there to hold me. I felt so close to you. I saw your shirt and couldn't help but steal it. I wanted...I needed to have something that's yours. And now that I have it, I won't give it back. It's mine. I slept in it. I'll sleep in it every night until I will have you wrapped around me instead.”

Jaime moaned.

“Yes. Yes...”, he let out a heavy breath, “sleep in my shirt. I forbid you to sleep in anything else. Just my shirt on your body...no panties...gods, I want you like that. Promise we'll do it like that. I want to see you wearing my clothes, your legs spread for me...fuck...”, his breathing stuttered in the rhythm of his hand.

_Maiden have mercy!_  
  
“Promise, Brienne, promise me!”

“Yes”, she panted before she could even think about it, “I promise, Jaime.”

“Yes! Brienne!”

Jaime let out a throaty groan and several pants as he came...and took Brienne with her. Her body was shuddering and, biting her lips to stop herself from moaning, she wished she was with him, to have him inside of her, to see him, feel him, smell him...  
 _  
Jaime..._  
  
Brienne closed her eyes and for a few wonderful moments she _was_ in his arms, his heavy breathing in her ear and on her skin _._ So warm. So safe. So loved.

  
\- -  
  


“That was...”

Brienne's eyes fluttered open, his voice pulling her back down to earth, finding the still closed bathroom door of Jaime's office.

“Yeah”, Brienne confirmed, her heart aching with the need to feel him.

“Embarrassing, but also fucking awesome.”

“Yes”, Brienne smiled, feeling her wet panties and the thrum from climax pulsing right beneath her skin.

“Now I only have to find the courage to face you again”, Jaime chuckled. Then she heard water running and blushed thinking of what he was washing and what he was washing off.

A moment of silence on his end of the line followed, then he heaved a sigh.

“Thank you for the shirt, my love.”

The tone of his voice stabbed her right in the heart. So soft, so warm...so bittersweet.

“Are you alright, Jaime?”

“Yes. I'm just a bit emotional. That happens sometimes after climax. Don't worry about it.”

She heard him inhale deeply. Then silence again. A knot formed in Brienne's throat. She could guess what was going on in his mind.

“Soon, Jaime. I promise.”

“I miss you so”, he whispered, barely audible. “Every day without you feels wrong.”

Stupid tears filling her eyes. Gods, when had she become so prone to tears?! Horrible!

“I know.”

“It's just been some stupid phone calls”, Jaime chuckled and Brienne's lips twitched into a smile.

“I know.”

“Soon?” he asked softly.

“Yes. Soon.”

“Good...now get away from the window. I don't want you to look at me.”

Brienne snorted. “Why not? I want to. I want to know what you look like post-coital.”

Jaime chortled. “Do you want to see if I'm blushing?”

“That would be a cute sight, I'm sure. Red is your house color. Wear it with pride, old man.”

“Just an FYI: If the magical day comes and we've fucked each others' brains out, don't call me that or I'll probably burst into tears.”

“That's because you're a drama queen.”

Jaime laughed. “Definitely.”

“Hm”, Brienne couldn't help but notice, “you're much more agreeable after sex. I'll remember that.”

“Do that. Remember that if you want to win an argument, you have to fuck me into submission.”

“I will.”

They shared a laugh.

“Come out and face me like a proud, mighty lion”, Brienne ordered him after he still wouldn't come out of that bathroom.

“Only if you swear on all the Seven not to laugh at me.”

The seriousness in his voice hurt her. “Jaime, I'd never do that to you. Never.”

A deep breath. “Of course not. Sorry.”

Finally, the door opened. Brienne's heart skipped a beat as she watched him emerge. His eyes were on the floor as he crawled out of his cave and closed the door. After that was done, he stood there, uncertain, swinging his arms back and forth, looking around his office. He actually was embarrassed. And if she did see this right, there was a little hint of red on his cheeks, peeking through the strands of hair that were falling into his face.

“Hey”, he finally said, glancing up at her, smiling.

Brienne laughed. “Hey.”

He gave her a little wave, put his hands on his waist, looked down at his crotch and let his hands fall, cleared his throat and walked to his desk to quickly sit down.

“I have to say, Lannister,” Jaime glanced up at her cautiously as she spoke, “you are adorable when you're flustered.”

“Shut up”, he grunted.

“You do! I think post-coital might be my favorite look on you.”

He grumbled and ran a hand through his hair. Clearing his throat, he switched on his monitor and logged on.

Still embarrassed. Still so far away.

“Are you mad with me?” she asked carefully.

A sigh. Jaime leaned back in his chair. “No”. Another deep breath, then he turned his face to look up at her. “Just cuddly without your arms around me.”

Brienne smiled sadly.

“I fear I might be like that the entire day and I have a meeting with the legal department and an interview in the afternoon. Not ideal.”

“I'm sorry.”

“No,” he shook his head and closed his eyes, “don't be. I loved it. I hope we'll do it again...preferably not in the office, but at this point, I'll take anything.”

A sting in her heart.

“I know I'm being silly.”

“I didn't mean it like that, Brie.”

Brienne shoook her head. “No, I am. I'm aware. We've said the big L word to each other. Putting off our date is ridiculous. I know that. I just...”

She sighed.

“You said you trust me.”

“I do, Jaime. I trust your heart. But...what if your body finds me appalling?”

“I think from what just happened it's safe to say that I feel attracted to you.”

Brienne let her fingers glide over the keyboard of her laptop.

“I don't care about the way you look, sweetling.”

“I'm big, Jaime. I'm taller than you. My shoulders are broader than yours.”

“So?”

“It's unattractive.”

“I think it's sexy.”

Brienne huffed and shot him a glare.

“Alright, fine”, Jaime said in a sharper tone. “I've never jerked off to warrior women porn before. In the two years alone I fantasized of soft, small women under me. But by now I find the thought of your body very, very appealing.”

Brienne rolled her eyes.

“Do you want to know what fantasies I jerk off to these days? You're a lady knight and I'm your prisoner, traveling on the road, bringing me to your liege lord to face trial. We squabble, I make your blood boil until you finally have enough and want to silence me. I get a hold of one of your swords and try to fight you. Your eyes are calm and dangerous as we circle each other, as our blades kiss. Eventually you throw me down and suddenly, we're kissing. You're having your wicked way with me then, reminding me that I am your prisoner...and that I'm one lucky bastard to have the strongest knight in Westeros bouncing on my cock.”

“Jaime!”

“What?!”

She huffed and wrapped her arms around herself.

Jaime sighed when she wouldn't look at him. “All I was trying to say is that ever since we've known each other, my preferences have changed. I want you, just as you are. I find your strength sexy as hell. If you were dwarfish like Tyrion, I'd find that sexy, too. Because it's the shell you come in. When you love someone it doesn't matter what they look like...Or is this the point where you admit that you just want me for my looks? Do you have a dumb blonde kink?”

“Shut up.”

“No. Not until you understand how irrational this fear is.” Their gazes met. “I'm not Hyle”, Jaime told her, his green eyes burning like wildfire. “I'm not lying to you. I want you. I love you. Do you understand?”

Her head was swimming. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes.

“I will kiss you. I will hold you. I will make love to you. As often as it takes for you to believe me.”

A shiver down her spine. Hope in her heart. Hyle's soft dark eyes dancing in her mind.   
  
Jaime wasn't Hyle. Jaime was worth a million Hyles.   
  
Faith. Trust.   
  
Brienne opened her eyes and looked at him. Even if he was wrong, even if there wouldn't be physical attraction when they finally met, even if she couldn't bear to be touched by him and memories of her fatal first time came rushing back, she wanted to risk it.

_One last try_ , that voice inside her was whispering. _Just one more try to have something real._

Jaime was worth risking her heart again.

  
“Oberyn is coming in a few weeks.”

His soft expression instantly hardened.

“What does that viper have to do with anything?”

The angry tone in his voice shouldn't flatter her.

“Once he's here and settled in, I'll have more time. I could take a vacation...let's do it then. Our date. Three months from now.”

Jaime stared at her for a long moment. “Are you sure?”

“Yes”, she nodded. _One last try._

“Fine then”, Jaime replied, his voice shaking, “we'll have our date in three months.”

“Three months”, she confirmed, her mind and heart resolved.

  
_One last try._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, I went there. Had Jaime masturbate in an office bathroom. I have no regrets. *puts on sunglasses and wiggles eyebrows*


	16. Beneath the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little erotic interlude

A beautiful Saturday night.

Brienne was sitting on the lounge chair on her little balcony, the giant rainbow-colored pillow Renly had given her as a house-warming gift in her back. Azora lay curled up in her lap while she was reading a book, the floor lamp from her living room standing next to her.

It was a full moon and the air still carried the warmth of the day, so Brienne only wore shorts, Jaime's shirt and an olive camisole underneath.

She had been reading the entire evening, a fascinating book about _Arryn Motors Industries_ , who have built Oathkeeper and a lot of timeless cars and motorbikes, while her free hand was stroking her sleeping cat. She was so lost in the tale of the Arryn legacy that she jumped when her phone started ringing.

Her heart skipped a beat and she smiled as she quickly placed the dolphin bookmark on the page she was reading, closed the book and put it on the table. She had been waiting to read Jaime's name on the display of her phone all day.

“Hi! I'm glad you survived.”

“Hi. Me, too.”

“How bad was it?”

“The usual. Robert was drunk and loud, Tyrion was drunk and snarky, Cersei was drunk and glaring, Renly and Loras were trying and failing to be funny and the Dark Lord looked down on all of us with cold, disapproving eyes.”

“Did the kids have a good time?”

“No one has a good time at a Lannister/Baratheon dinner, Brienne. That's kind of the point.”

Brienne shook her head.

“Well, it's over now.”

“Thank all the Seven Gods.”

She smiled at his exasperated sigh.

“Did you miss me, wench?”

Brienne rolled her eyes.

“No.”

“Really?! Not even after a horrible family dinner you can humor my fragile ego?”

“No.”

“You're a heartless woman.”

“If I was, I certainly wouldn't be talking to you.”

“Oh? So there is a place in your heart for me?”

“...Mmmaybe.”

Jaime chuckled in triumph.

“But it's only a small old plastic chair, so don't get too comfortable.”

“Too late.”

Brienne snorted, Jaime laughed.

“I missed you, sweetling”, he purred and, as usual, his tone immediately disarmed her.

“I missed you, too.”

“What did you do today?”

“Nothing special. Workout, a bit of programming, calling my dad, cleaning the apartment, eating dinner and then reading, which I was doing until you called. You? Apart from the dinner with your beloved family?”

Jaime snorted at the last part. “I worked out, thinking of you. I cleaned, thinking of you. Steamed veggies for the next few days, thinking of you. Browsed some recipes, thinking of you...took a bath thinking of you...”

The suggestive tone in his voice made her breasts tingle. Damn that seducer!

“Jaime -”

“I want to kiss your neck, Brienne. So bad. Lick every freckle on it.”

Brienne bit her lip as a shudder ran down her front.

“So, you're horny.”

“Always since you seduced me so shamelessly in the office”, he purred.

“I didn't seduce you!”

“No? What did you do, then?”

She looked down at the white shirt. “...I borrowed your shirt.”

“You _stole_ my shirt, you thief.”

“I left a replacement, so technically I...traded.”

Jaime chuckled. “If it makes you sleep at night, wench.”

It really did. His shirt was the best nightgown ever.

“Well, it does. Very well, actually. Only your shirt and me in bed...and Azora.”

“No panties?” Jaime asked huskily.

“...No.”

A harmless fib. Actually, she couldn't stand sleeping without underwear. It felt wrong, somehow. Even during hot summer nights she at least wore panties if nothing else.

“Sweetling...stop seducing me.”

Her skin tingled and warmed.

“Your tone implies that you very much want to be seduced right now.”

“Hmmm”, was his reply. “Where are you? In bed?”

“No. I'm on the balcony.”

“Hey, me too!”

Brienne smiled at his joyous tone.

“Can people see you there? Noisy neighbors?”

“No.”

“Good. That's good.”

“Why?” she asked innocently.

“Because I want to make love to you under the stars, wench.”

Brienne looked up at the night sky, her heart beating fast in her chest. Her nipples were already hard and tingling, only from his voice and his words. A part of her was terrified of the power this man had over her body and that she would be wax in his hands – once he got them on her.

_Gods, he will put his hands on me. Less than ten weeks and I will know how his hands feel on my skin. I will know what his skin feels like..._

“Azora is sleeping in my lap”, she pointed out, trying to stall as her body was flooded with arousal.

“Wake her. It's time she starts learning to share. I plan to have my head in your lap very, very often.”

The mentioned lap heated up at this.

“She will be mad.”

“ _I_ will be mad. Do as I say, wench.”

“Do you really believe bossing me around is getting you into my pants, Lannister?”

“Yes”, he rasped. “You long for me to pin you down and have my way with you.”

“As if you could pin me down, old man”, Brienne snorted.

Jaime purred. “It will be a fantastic fight. But I'll win, sweetling. And once you yielded, I will set every inch of your skin on fire with my mouth and hands, until you spread those gorgeous long legs for me and beg me to claim you.”

Brienne was annoyed. Annoyed at how much this scenario turned her on.

“No one at my gym is strong enough to put me on the mattress. What makes you think you can, old man?”

“I can. I'm strong enough. And I have the advantage that you want me to pin you down.”

_Gods, yes!_

_...What?!_

“No, I don't. I will pin _you_ down.”

“You can try. Gods, I want you to try, Brienne.” Jaime purred and panted.

“Are you touching yourself?” she asked, her cheeks filling with heat.

“Not yet. But I'll need to, soon. Join me, love. I don't want to do it alone this time. I need you.”

  
Check mate.

  
She really had to develop some sort of defense mechanism against this sexy side of Jaime or she'd do nothing else but beg him to make love to her all day and night once they've met.

“Give me a minute.”

Before he could protest Brienne put the phone on the small table next to her and stood up. Azora woke and complained, but she gave her soothing kisses as she carried her into her bedroom and put her down on the bed. As soon as she lifted the blanket, Azora disappeared beneath, purring loudly. With a smile Brienne let the blanket fall and petted the lump before she hurried into the bathroom to wash her hands.

She caught her reflection in the mirror. “Fuck, I'm going to have phone sex with Jaime Lannister.”

She half-laughed, half-cursed and washed her hot face.

After she had dried herself, she hurried back onto the balcony.

“Sorry.”

“Please tell me you're naked.”

“No! Are you?”

No reply.

Brienne flushed a deep red as memories of Jaime's bare, sweat-glistening torso popped up in her head. So effing beautiful. Shame she didn't know what lay below the waist.

“Are you...”, she shivered and squirmed in her seat., “Are you hard, Jaime?”

“So fucking hard, Brie”, he panted into the speaker.

“Jaime...”

She listened to his heavy breathing as he stroked himself. She imagined him doing it slowly, his hand fondling his balls before he slid back up again.

“What are you wearing, love?”

Brienne closed her eyes as she told him. “...and your shirt.”

“Fuck. Brienne...gods...take off your shorts. And your camisole. I want you in just my shirt. All mine...”

She hesitated, feeling so ridiculous, but then he groaned and the sound echoed through her body, making heat and wetness pool between her thighs.

“I can't believe I'm doing this”, she muttered as she lifted her ass and actually pulled off her shorts and panties. “Hang on”, she told him and put the phone down, not waiting for his reply, knowing very well that if she didn't do this quickly, she wouldn't do it at all. But she wanted to be brave for him. Adventurous. Sensual. Sexy. She wanted all those things.

Standing naked on her balcony felt so scary and exciting. She had a sea view, no houses in her line of sight, the neighboring balconies separated with brick walls. Still, she felt as if all eyes of KL were on her, so she hastily put on Jaime's shirt and buttoned it up to the last four buttons, exposing her non-existing cleavage.

When she was back on the chair, she felt a little better. She reached for the phone.

“I can't believe I just did that”, she admitted a little breathlessly.

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“Brienne...my love...I want to see you. I want to be on that chair with you, between your legs, having them tightly wrapped around my hips as I push into you.”

Brienne bit her lip. Damn, she could almost feel him on top of her. Her legs bent and fell open as she imagined his hips between them, his cock pushing into her. Deep, so deep...

“Is...is it alright to say this?” he suddenly asked, and the insecurity in his voice cooled her down.

“Yes, Jaime. Very. I...I like it...It feels so good...”

“My love...”, he sighed and in her mind, they kissed each other slowly, gently, lovingly.

“My Jaime...”

“Yes...Yours, Brienne. I'm yours.”

“Yes...”

Jaime moaned. “Touch yourself, sweetling. Your breasts. Caress those lovely little breasts for me...”

“Jaime -”

“I'm here. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She did. She slid her hand underneath his shirt and cupped her breast. Whilst she was being on the phone with him. Seven hells.

“Describe your breasts to me, love. Please.”

His raw voice was pure sex, running down her skin like thick honey, making her entire body ache for him.

“They're small...kind of...pointy...perky...?”

Fuck, she was horrible at this.

“I'm horrible at this”, she repeated aloud.

“No. You're lovely. So sexy. Undressing for me, touching yourself for me, that's so fucking sexy, Brienne. Do you have freckles on your breasts?”

“Only a few. More...more around them. Between them.”

“Hmm. Your nipples? Tell me about your nipples. Touch them while you do.”

_Dear Maiden..._

“They're small, too. A...pale pink. The nipples darker than the areolas.”

Jaime hummed. “Are they hard right now?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Are you touching them?”

“Yes.”

“How? Are your rubbing? Softly? Pinching?”

“A bit of both.”

“Yes...both is good. I'll do both, too. Tease them at first, watching them rise and harden under my fingertips and when they are begging for my mouth, I'll pinch them, preparing them for my teeth.”

Brienne let out a ragged breath. Her fingers were simulating what he was describing and damn, it felt fantastic.

“I-I want your mouth, Jaime”, she heard herself whisper. “Your tongue.”

“You'll have them, love. All of me. I'll kiss them, lick them. Suck them. Fuck, I want to suck them so bad...”

They both moaned into their phones.

“I want to suck you, too.”

Seven hells. She had really said that. Jaime's throaty groan proved it.

“I can't wait. I dream of your mouth around me, love. Every fucking night. With your blue eyes on me...I love your eyes...so beautiful...so very beautiful...”

They fell silent for a while, listening to the other pleasuring themselves. It was awesome and weird and so very arousing.

“Brienne?”

“Hm?”

“Tell me what your cunt looks like.”

“Seven hells”, she panted, lightning shooting directly into mentioned body part. Jamie chuckled.

“Are you blonde down there?”

“Yes.”

“I knew it. I dreamed it. A thick blonde bush. I've run my fingers through it countless of times, sweetling. So many nights I dream of your wet, pink little cunt.”

“Jaime.”

“Yes”, he groaned. “Touch her for me, sweetling. Gently. Slowly. Tell her I love her. Show her how much I love her.”

“Maiden...”

Burying her face into her pillow, Brienne let her hand wander down her body. Pulled up Jaime's shirt, spread her legs wider. Slowly she ran her fingers through her pubic hair, playing with it, gently tugging on it as she imagined Jaime's fingers doing it.

Then her fingers wandered south, middle and ring finger spreading to glide two fingers each down her shaved outer lips. She liked how she felt down there, so soft, so womanly. Every other part of her felt huge and hard and strong, but here she'd always been as soft as any other woman.

A ragged breath left her as her fingers touched her flesh, already hot and coated in her honey. Ready for her Jaime. So ready.

“So ready”, she breathed as her fingertips circled her swollen clit, only using a little pressure. “I'm so ready for you, Jaime.”

Her boyfriend groaned into the speaker. “Gods, me too. So fucking hard, Brienne. He's weeping, so needy is he. Missing his lover badly.”

“I miss you, too.”

“I love you, Brienne. So fucking much.”

Tears sprung to her eyes. “I love you, too, Jaime. I never thought I could love someone so much.”

“Brienne. My heart. I want you. I want to fuck you, Brienne. I want to be inside you. I want to drown in you. I want to come inside you.”

“Jaime”, she panted, her fingers moving faster, with more pressure.

“Push your fingers inside, Brienne. Think of me while you do it. Fuck yourself, slow and deep. That's how I will fuck you for the first time, love. Slow and deep, all of me into you with every push, holding it there, letting you feel me, feeling you...”

Brienne did it. Pushing ring and middle finger into herself, as deep as she could. A moan burst out of her as they were buried to the last knuckle, as she felt her hot, wet walls clenching around her fingers.

“Jaime!”

“Brienne!”

With eyes squeezed shut she fucked herself, listening intently to Jaime's heavy breathing, to the noises of his moving hand that sometimes reached her ears. Whispered words of love and longing did they share as they drove themselves towards the edge, minutes melting away on their hot skin.

“I'm close, love”, Jaime announced breathlessly, “push your fingers all the way in, bend them. Find that spot that sends you flying.”

“I don't know -”

“Trust me. Do it. Gods, hurry. I'm bursting. I don't want to come without you.”

Brienne bent her fingers, kind of poked around in herself, not sure what she should be looking for until -

“Oh!”

Jaime chuckled. “There we go. Rub it. Thrust against it. Whatever feels good, Brienne. Come with me, my love. I want to hear you come.”

“Jaime...gods, I had no idea...and there I thought I knew...Jaime...I want you so much. I want you inside of me. I want you to fuck me, Jaime. So bad. I need you so bad.”

“Fuck, Brienne...please, please...I can't hold it...”

Jaime huffed and panted, let out groan after groan and then, with a desperate ' _I love you_ ', he shouted out his orgasm.

It was enough to take her with him, her fingers rubbing that patch of rough skin inside her and then she flew to all the seven heavens and back, her entire body shaking, her walls clenching hard around her fingers, gushing out honey, coating her fingers.  
  
When the world around her sharpened again, she pulled her fingers out of herself, letting out a trembling moan. Panting and limp she looked up at the full moon, her wet fingers lying on her pubic hair. She listened to her own and Jaime's breathing for a long while, grinning like a fool.

“It's a full moon”, Jaime stated out of the blue and somehow, it sent her into a fit of laughter.

“I love you”, she said after she had calmed down again, her heart feeling so reassured that all would end well.

“I love you, too, Brienne. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. Nine and a half weeks.”

“I know.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Are you?”

“Right now, no. Sometimes, yes.”

“It will be perfect, Brie. I'll make sure of it.”

Brienne chortled. “Your determination is somewhat creepy.”

“Thanks.”

A moment of silence in which he pouted and she enjoyed the post-coital exhaustion of her body.

“Are you tired?” she asked him after a while.

“No. You?”

“No. Talk to me.”

Jaime chuckled. “About what? Naughty things?”

“Whatever you want. I want to hear your voice.”

He sighed. “I want to hold you.”

“Me, too. Not long and you can. Every night.”

“Swear it.”

The serious tone in his voice sent a shiver down her spine. “I swear it, Jaime. I'm yours.”

“Fuck...I'm getting hard again. You merciless temptress.”

Brienne rolled her eyes, but her fingers wandered between her legs.

“I want to do that thing again”, she admitted shyly, which immediately made him growl hungrily.

“Yes...do that. Let me hear you.”

  
~oOo~  
  


They made love to each other once more, the second time even more wonderful, Brienne being much more relaxed – and much braver. Jaime came with a roar, panting her name and his love over and over.

Later, once they recovered and moved into their respective bedrooms, the lovers snuggled into their sheets, their phones pressed to their ears.

“You know,” Jaime said, his voice sounding as she had never heard it before. It was a soft, low purr. Amazing. “I think this is good for us. Doing it this way. Maybe it will help...when we...you know.”

Brienne couldn't help but chuckle. “After all the filthy things you said to me tonight, _now_ you're shy?”

He chortled. “What I meant to say was, that us doing phone sex might help ease your...issues with us having real sex.”

Some of the relaxed bliss left her, but after a flash of bad memories, she could see his reasoning.

“Maybe you're right. I didn't think of it, not once. There was only you on my mind.”

“Like it should be. Always.”

Brienne smiled. “So, you're saying we should do a lot of phone sex in the coming weeks?”

“I'm saying that we should do a lot of coming in the next few weeks”, Jaime purred and made her laugh.

“You're an idiot”, she retorted sleepily and rolled onto her belly, still wearing nothing but Jaime's shirt. It would be the first time in her adult life she'd sleep without her panties - and didn't mind.

“I love you, too, wench", the lion purred.

 


	17. The Prince and the Imp

The arrival of the prince of fucking Dorne Martell caused quite a stir at _Tarth Digital, LLC_. It was almost as bad as the _LLBLS_ , with less high-pitched squeals but more heart-eyes. Oberyn was being swarmed by men and women in the meeting room after Brienne had officially introduced him as her partner. Since the prince was obviously basking in the attention, Brienne left the meeting room, grabbed herself a peach ice tea from the fridge and headed for her office, making a quick detour to the office down the hall to check if everything was set up for Oberyn.

“Is everything ready?” she asked Pod, who had returned to his desk instead of swooning at the prince.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Brienne gave him a satisfied nod and walked into her office, closing the door to the clucking of her hens. She was sucking on the straw of her ice tea when she noticed that Jaime was standing at the window, looking up at her.

She waved and smiled, holding up her drink in greeting.

Jaime didn’t smile back. Instead he called her.

“Are you in love with him, yet?”

Brienne rolled her eyes and shook her head as she walked to the windows.

“Yes, Jaime. We’re making love right this moment. He’s so good you can’t even see him.”

“Not funny”, he grumbled.

“I’m serious! He’s in my blouse, playing with my breasts. He’s so comfortably short. Almost like a babe. In a sexual way.”

He chortled. “You’re an idiot.”

“Takes one to know one”, she shot back.

They smiled at each other.

“I want to be the only one playing with your breasts”, he purred next, his fingertips touching the glass. “I want to sweetly kiss your pale pink nipples before I-“

Brienne hung up, her entire body tingling, her nipples stiff and aching for his mouth beneath the white blouse.

Damn that man! She should never have told him about the color of her nipples. What had she been thinking?!

Jaime grinned, bit his lower lip and scrunched his nose at her.

“Ah, here you are.”

Brienne’s head snapped around. She wanted to step away from the window, but Oberyn was too fast, joining her – right in Jaime’s line of view. The prince did look nothing but delicious in his very tight black jeans and casual long-sleeved, sunflower coloured shirt. The first three buttons were undone, giving view to his smooth olive skin, the sculpted collarbones and just a little bit of chest hair.

“You would have a nice sea view if it weren’t for the other tower. Good for people watching, though.” With a smile, his eyes roamed the other tower.  
  
  


_Please don’t see him, please don’t see him, please don't -_  
  
  


A snicker.

  
_Damn all the seven hells!_  
  
  


“Ah, the mighty lion.”

Oberyn waved – and wrapped an arm around Brienne’s waist.

“Hmm, he looks angry. Wonder why that is.” Again, that knowing chuckle.

“If you don’t want to lose that hand”, Brienne growled, “you better take it off me, Martell.”

Oberyn smiled up at her, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief.

“I’m doing you a favor, sweetling. Jealousy is the best aphrodisiac. And your lion has always been a jealous man.”

“Hands. Off.” Brienne gave him the best death glare in her repertoire. It made him chuckle and sigh.

“Suit yourself. But if you need to make him jealous, I’m gladly offering my services.”

“Get out. Your office is down the hall. If you need anything-“ - “I’ll come straight to you.” - “- go to Podrick.”

Oberyn only winked, gave Jaime a wave goodbye and exited her office.

Brienne glanced down at Jaime. His fingertips were pressed against the glass like claws, his eyes were like wildfire, his jaw was clenching.

Leaving the window for a second, she called him.

“He touched you”, he growled angrily. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Jaime…”, Brienne walked back to the window, “you can’t kill any man who flirts with me. You’d have…one victim.”

She laughed to cheer him up. Didn’t work. With a glance over her shoulder – of course Oberyn had left the door open, damn him – she stepped closer to the window.

“You know it means nothing to me”, she whispered. “I’m not in the least tempted.” Then, biting her lip, she whispered. “You’re the only one who turns me on. You only need to look at me and my body craves your touch more than anything.”

“I _will_ touch you”, Jaime whispered huskily, “I will caress every inch of your body until the only touch you remember is mine.”

Brienne shuddered and she let him hear the shaky exhale of breath.

“Don’t be jealous”, she whispered. “There is no need for it.”

“I’ll try. My love…”

Heated gazes flew across the street, making those two tremble with desire.

“Fuck, Brie,” Jaime exhaled at last, “I have a meeting in five. I can’t go in there with a raging hard-on. Step away from the window and stop tempting me, wench.”

Brienne bit her lip, heat pooling between her legs. “Dinner at seven?”

“Eight, if that’s alright. Have meetings the entire day…fuck, I want to lick the hollow between your collarbones. The sunlight shines directly on it. You are glowing in that white shirt, sweetling.”

Brienne blushed. The spot he wanted to lick was tingling now. She could almost feel his tongue slide over her skin…

“Eight”, she agreed huskily and with a nod, they hung up. Brienne turned away from the window, her panties damp and her body aching for her Jaime.

  
~oOo~  
  
  


Jaime's number popped up on her display way before eight. It made her heart do a flip and a ridiculous smile spread on her too big lips. Quickly saving her work, she picked up her phone.

“If you start talking about my breasts again, I'll hang up.”

“...Oh...Well, I'd like to, but I fear I have to see them, first.”

Brienne bolted out of her chair. That wasn't Jaime's voice!?

As soon as she reached the window, she was met with the sight of the head of HR of _LBS, Inc_. sitting in Jaime's chair.

“Mi-Mister Lannister, I'm so sorry, I-”

“Oh, gods, ugh. Please don't call me that. Mister Lannister is my father. And that's bad enough as it is.”

Brienne blinked. Her mind was processing. “But...you _are_ Mister Lannister. Don't your co-workers address you like that?”

“Nope. Not anymore. After three months of not reacting to those stuck-up sods calling me 'Mister Lannister' they finally learned. Took ridiculously long for these _allegedly_ smart people. It's Tyrion, or Mister L, but _never_ Mister Lannister.”

“...Alright.”

The man looked up at her and she found out he had a very charming smile.

“Do you insist on Miss Tarth?”

“No. Brienne is fine.”

“Very well. So, Brienne...”

“...Tyrion?”

“I called because curiosity finally got the better of me. This thing between you and my big brother has been going on for months now. Normally, Jaime doesn't have any secrets from me. But he desperately tried to hide you. From our family, which was smart, but not even I was allowed to know.”

His mismatching eyes looked up at her and Brienne felt the need to defend Jaime. “It's not been that long and we-”

“Yes”, Tyrion interrupted, “I know about this odd form of a relationship. Sounds ridiculous. Only phone calls and throwing longing gazes across the street through these windows? It makes me wonder, Brienne, if you have...let's say ulterior motives, for I know my brother well enough to know that this has not been his idea.”

Brienne balled her hands into fists.

“So, what are you trying to accomplish? Gather enough audio material to sell? Want to expose my brother's foolish heart, or whatever is left of it?”

“I would never -”

“Because if that is your plan, then let me warn you now that should you even think about selling _anything_ to the press, I will know about it. And then, my dear, there will be hell to pay.” A cold chill rushed up her spine.

Tyrion Lannister was serious. Now it was official: Every Lannister was insane.  
  
“Jaime has been through enough. I will not let him get hurt again.”

“Neither will I”, Brienne said, her face a stubborn scowl, her blood boiling. “How dare you accuse me?! You don't know me! You don't know what is between Jaime and me. And it's none of your damn business.”

“Oh,” Tyrion smiled a scary smile, “but it is. He's my brother. We're Lannisters. We might be a rotten, self-destructive bunch, but we understand the importance of family and, while we don't mind and occasionally delight in hurting each other, we don't tolerate others hurting us.”

The Lannister pride. There it was. Never had she witnessed it in it's full, ugly glory. In an odd way, she found it fascinating. Touching, even. And sad, somehow. Lannister-behaviour really was confusing. They had their own logic.

“I will never hurt Jaime”, Brienne said, her heart burning with conviction.

“Means what?” the short man inquired, unimpressed. “That this relationship is real? That you care for him?”

She ground her teeth. She didn't want to talk about this with a man she didn't know. Jaime had spoken so warmly of Tyrion, but right now she couldn't see the man he had described.

“Of course I do.”

“Do you love him?”

Her breath caught. Her heart increased its beat. Her mind was racing. She didn't want to confirm their relationship to his family if Jaime wasn't ready, but apparently he had said something or Tyrion wouldn't know that they were just talking, right? Crone, where was Jaime?! She couldn't handle this on her own. She couldn't handle Lannisters without a briefing from him. She wasn't cunning, she didn't understand what was going on here, why she was being attacked like this.

“So why keep it up, this charade?” Tyrion asked while Brienne was still thinking, her silence taken for an answer. “Do you enjoy his attention? How could you not? Gods know I know what it's like to claw at every bit of beauty within your reach. Before I was married I simply paid for it, but this must be so much better, making Westeros' most eligible bachelor fall in love with you and keeping him on a leash, whispering sweet words that make him hope and dream of a future, a family, a life away from the rest of this sick family. Why not give him your body, too? You could bind him to you forever with that. Jaime craves intimacy more than anything. If you know him as well as I think you do, you know this. So why not do it? To torture him? To bask in his love and longing? Or does your conscience stop you from taking this last step to destroying that man?”

“Enough!” Brienne shouted, not willing to listen to one more word of his foul accusations. Fury was raging in her and as always, it made tears sting in her eyes and a knot form in her throat. But she swallowed it down, for she would not be silent now, she would not tolerate Tyrion Lannister – or anyone – to accuse her of something this horrible.

“I am _not_ manipulating your brother! I would never do that to him or anyone! What is it with you Lannisters? Why do you always suspect betrayal and manipulation?! There are people out there who simply care. I care for Jaime. I -”, and here she hesitated, her heart pounding against her chest, “Yes, I love him...He is mine. Jaime is mine! And I will protect him from all of you if I have to. He gave himself to me and I will never give him back! Tell that to the rest of the lunatic Lannister clan. Especially to your sister!”

A surprised intake of breath made her stop.

“He told you”, Tyrion half-whispered. His shock somehow instantly dissolved most of Brienne's aggression.

“Yes, he did.” Brienne puffed out a breath in an attempt to calm down her heartbeat.

“And it doesn't bother you?”

She shrugged. “...It is what it is. I trust him. He says it's over. I believe him. The rest...can't be changed.”

“Then why don't you want to see him?”

She huffed. “It's none of your business! What's it to you?!”

Tyrion spoke slowly. “He is my brother and I love him. I don't want him to get hurt.”

“Neither do I. We have been taking things slow. Very slow, I admit. But it's real. And serious. Very serious. For both of us.”

“You've spoken of a furture together?”

Brienne's already warm cheeks filled with more heat. “Yes.”

“Of marriage and babys and the rest?”

“...Yes”, Brienne replied through gritted teeth.

“What will you call your firstborn?”

“If you leave me alone we will call him Tyrion if it's a boy.”

Unexpectedly, Tyrion burst into a laugh.

“As much as I would love that, I rather enjoy bothering you.”

“Lovely”, she scowled

He laughed again.

“I see why Jaime likes you.”

Brienne paused and blinked, processing. “I see why he likes you.”

A shift in the air. Tension leaving the room. A small smile around Tyrion's lips.

“Alright, I believe you. You have my blessing to pursue my big brother.”

Brienne snorted and shook her head. “You're impossible.”

“I'm a Lannister.”

She huffed. “You don't say.”

Damn, his smile was infectious. Brienne and Tyrion looked at each other for a moment, taking the other in.

Jaime's brother. The only member of his family he liked.

“I apologize”, he sighed. “I was just trying to make sure Jaime didn't fall for the wrong woman again.”

“He didn't.”

A smirk on the young lion's lips.

“That remains to be seen...but I sincerely hope so.”

Resolve steeled her heart, more than ever before. She would prove Tyrion wrong. Tyrion and the rest of that sodding family. She would love the shit out of Jaime until he was so happy he was constantly grinning like an idiot. And _then_ they could all come apologize for doubting her!

...Which would never happen, but oh well.  
  
  


A voice inside her told her she should make an effort for Jaime's sake...despite the previous accusations.

“Congratulations on your baby. A daughter, wasn't it?”

Now Tyrion was beaming at her.

“Thank you!”

“Jaime said your wife is well?”

“Oh, yes. After five children this one was a walk in the park. I begin to think she enjoys childbirth.”

Brienne snorted.

“She is a trooper. Strong as an ox, with the same mindset. Can you believe she still wants more children? She wants to make it to ten. Ten! I've never met a stronger woman.”

The affection with which he spoke of his wife warmed Brienne's heart. Clearly, he admired Tysha. How could he not, with her giving him six children? Six pregnancies, six times going through childbirth. The mere thought was bringing Brienne close to a panic. She couldn't even imagine going through all that once. But Jaime would like to have two children and she would be honored to give them to him.  
Their future together felt so close that Brienne had actually been to her gynecologist to make sure she was fertile. The mannish figure, the non-existing waist and the small breasts had made her unsure. But the doctor said her fertility rate was good. She was indeed a woman. Brienne had cried at home after the news, feeling oddly overwhelmed with the confirmation that this part of her at least was as feminine as any other woman. It helped a bit to feel more at ease with the prospect of physical intimacy.  
Jaime and her had a lot of phone sex lately and she longed for him so strongly. It was sexy, exciting and tender, all at once, and in these moment Brienne had no doubt that she would welcome him in her arms and inside her body most willingly. The doubts came after, when they had settled for the night and drifted off to sleep. Sometimes Hyle's shadow was lying in bed with her, making her feel sick and disgusted with herself.

But she pushed these doubts as far away from her as she could. She would not let Hyle Hunt win. She would not let him ruin her chance at happiness. To the seven hells with that pig.

  
  


Tyrion's laugh startled Brienne out of her musings. He still was happily chatting on about his family, telling her a story of his oldest daughter, a mischievous girl of 6.

“She ate all her strawberry toothpaste and refilled it with water so we wouldn't notice that the tube was empty. I'm certain that she will either be a genius who will save the world or an evil mastermind that will bring destruction and chaos.”

Brienne smiled. It was so obvious that Tyrion adored his family that the previous animosity was already forgotten. They chatted for over an hour, the sun setting behind her tower, bathing Jaime's office in golden light. So when Jaime finally entered his office and the light made his skin and hair glow in such a beautiful way, her breath got stuck in her throat.

  
_He looks half a god. No one should be that beautiful._

  
Jaime stopped dead when he spotted his brother in his chair, door handle still in hand. He saw Tyrion on the phone and instantly Jaime's head spun in her direction. A moment of panic on his face, eyes going wide, jaw clenching. He hastily closed the door and hurried to the desk.

“What did you say to her?” Brienne could hear him ask.

“Nothing I could tell her. You've apparently already spilled all Lannister secrets.”

A nervous look up at her, then he rounded the desk.

“Give me the phone.”

“Why? We're just chatting.”

“Hang up.”

Tyrion only rolled his eyes, then he looked up at her. “Can you believe this guy? Fretting like a babe.” Then he pushed some buttons on the phone and tossed the headset at Jaime. He put it on his ear with an angry frown.

“Brienne?”

“Hello.”

“What did he say?”

Brienne and Tyrion exchanged a look.

“For over an hour now he's gushing about his family.”

Jaime was still tense. “And that's it?”

“No, that's not it. Before that, I threatened her Lannister style. What do you take me for, brother?”

Brienne sighed inwardly. So much for keeping the peace.

“Threatened to do what? Brienne -”

“Jaime, it's fine”, she tried to calm him. He really looked upset. “He was only looking out for you. We cleared the air.”

“Yes, and now we're best friends. Are we not, Brienne Tarth?”

“I wouldn't go that far.”

Tyrion laughed. Jaime clenched his jaw.

“Oh, don't make that face”, Tyrion scolded as Jaime stared him down, “I already apologized. You can't blame me for being suspicious after what you've told me. So I thought she was recording your calls to sell them to the press. It's not that far fetched.”

“Brienne would never do that!”

“And now I know. Had to make sure. Protecting the family and my favorite brother.”

“I'm your only brother”, Jaime snarled.

“Jaime, it's fine.”

“See, no harm done. She's still madly in love with you.”

Both of them caught their breaths.

Looks flying across the streets, hearts beating longingly. To her surprise, Jaime blushed and cleared his throat.

“You've met her now. Off you go.” He gestured for Tyrion to leave his chair. The younger brother didn't look impressed.

“So describe to me what you guys are doing tonight.”

“I told you what we're doing”, the older brother said through clenched teeth.

“You were serious?”

“Yes! Now get lost.”

“You have dinner together, both sitting in your respective offices, gazing at each other longingly over cake? That simply doesn't make sense. Why don't you just have dinner in a restaurant like normal people, or better yet at your apartment so you can conveniently fall into bed afterwards – which is long overdue, from what I've seen in the last few minutes. If I may say so.”

“You may not. Now say goodbye to Brienne and _leave_. I'm serious.”

Tyrion sighed into the speaker. “You're no fun today. Brienne, it was a pleasure. Again, my apologies, but you see how he's acting. I had to make sure. I hope we'll talk soon. I simply must get to know the woman who has captured my brother's beaten heart.”

“Enough”, Jaime snapped and more or less manhandled Tyrion out of the chair and onto the other side of the desk, pointing at the door. Tyrion grinned at his brother and made an elegant bow towards the window. Then he finally left.

“I'm sorry, Brienne.”

“So, Tyrion knows about us.”

“Yes. Since yesterday. We went out for a drink after work.”

Suddenly, it dawned on Brienne.

“Jaime.” She didn't need to say more. He sighed.

“I know. But he's a very attractive man.”

“I thought I was the only one with trust issues.”

“I was surprised myself.” He sighed again. “I was driving myself insane at home so I called him. After the first couple of beers, Tyrion made me tell him the whole story. He's wicked like that.”

Brienne shook her head.

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you this morning. I should have known the little imp would do something. I was...distracted.”

“Jaime, in all seriousness. I'm not interested in Oberyn. Not at all.”

Jaime looked up at her for a moment. “Tell me you love me.”

They had rarely said it these last weeks. Only at night did they whisper countless words of love as they touched themselves, longing for the other.

“I do.”

“Say it. Say the words.”

Brienne frowned. How could he be so insecure? How could he think she could want another man but him? He was the kindest, smartest, funniest, loveliest man she had ever met. In comparison, Oberyn was nothing. At least to her. After everything they had shared, after how much she had openend up to him, how could he not know this? He knew her so well, he should know this, too.

But his expression told her he didn't. He was indeed jealous, stupid man. And he needed to be reassured of her affections.

“You're the only man I want, you idiot. In four weeks and two days I'll prove it to you.”

“You better, wench. You're mine.”

A shiver ran through her.

“Stop being so chauvinistic, old man.”

“Don't be stubborn now, Brienne.”

“You're being unreasonable.”

“Yes. Now oblige me.”

Brienne huffed and turned away for a second. She was irritated by his doubts. It made her doubt, too, and she was fed up with that. After being so intimate with him, she wanted to be sure.

Damn it, she _was_ sure. This was it! _He_ was it!

So, taking a deep breath, she swallowed down her anger.

“I love you, Jaime. I can't wait for our date. I can't wait to be in your arms. I can't wait to kiss you. I'm dying to run my fingers through your hair. I want to know how your neck smells, that spot right below your ear. I can't wait to fall asleep and wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.” Finally, looking him straight in the eyes. “I am yours, Jaime. Only yours.”

His eyes fluttered close for a second.

“Mine.”

He took a deep breath.

“Feeling better now?”

“A little.” Jaime tried a smile.

“Don't doubt me.”

“You're doubting me.”

“Not you. Only-”

“Let's not get into that again.”

The tone of his voice irritated her. There was a knot forming in her throat, her eyes felt hot.

They were so close to their happy ending. Why were they fighting?

“Maybe we've waited too long”, Brienne mused aloud.

Jaime's head jerked up. “What?”

“Maybe you were right and we should have gone to _Hot Pie_ 's straight away. Then we wouldn't be so nervous now.”

He contemplated, staring at his hands in his lap. Finally, he shook his head.

“Sometimes I think so, too. Sometimes, like right now with the prince of fucking Dorne Martell sniffing around you, I think I would feel better if we were a normal couple, if I would send you off to him after a night of loving and holding you in my arms. But I think...I _know_ you would never have given me a chance if we had done it the traditional way. We would have gone out for coffee with all your walls up, archers on the battlements to shoot me the moment I try anything. And after an awkward hour with me talking and you scowling at me, we would have parted and gone back to a business relationship. You would have never opened up to me.”

Brienne gave him a sad smile. “Or we'd be together for almost a year now.”

“We are together, sweetling.”

With tears in her eyes, she smiled. “Thank you for doing this for me, Jaime. If it wouldn't have been for your patience, I'd never know what it's like to be loved.”

“I love you, Brienne.”

“I love you, too.”

They smiled.

“I'm sorry I'm so jealous. With our date coming soon, I'm more and more afraid something will happen that will make me lose you.”

“You won't. Never.”

He nodded. “Wench, let's go home and have dinner. I want to eat in bed with you. Play a few games on _WhisWoo_. Make love to you. Fall asleep with you.”

“Sounds perfect.”

So they went home and did exactly that.

 


	18. Flirting Dornish style

The next morning, after Jaime had talked her to a wonderful orgasm, Brienne's heart felt a little lighter. And yet, there was this restless feeling inside her.

Jaime called her less at work. They shifted their dinner to their apartments. Jaime didn't initiate sexy times that often anymore. The easiness between them was replaced with an odd mix of longing and something that felt almost like fear.

Both of them were expecting something to go wrong. Their life simply had been this way up to this point and after their respective heartbreaks they were terrified to lose each other before they ever were together. Even though Jaime never said anything again, he was insanely jealous of Oberyn...Which was totally justified, as it would turn out.

A week after his arrival, Oberyn and her had an appointment with the CFO of _Frey Chemicals_ on the outskirts of King's Landing for a formal meet and greet to introduce Oberyn as her partner. It was a disastrous start, Walda Frey making no attempt to hide the fact that he hated Dorne. Brienne watched in awe how Oberyn's non-chalant smile was replaced with a predatory one and listened to him scaring the shit out of the old bastard, making a list of all the security flaws in Frey Chemicals systems. He had researched so well that when Oberyn was done, Frey was ready to buy the entire security package in _Tarth Digital's_ portfolio. Brienne was deeply impressed.

“That was awesome”, she told him after they had climbed into Oberyn's red _Sand Viper_ , the car he had flown in from Dorne. It was a classic speedster, an absolute magnificent beast. But for once, Brienne didn't admire the dark elegant wood and white leather interior. Her focus lay on the clever business man driving it.

“Thank you”, Oberyn smiled as he put on his sunglasses and drove off _Frey Chemicals_ ' property. The engine actually hissed like a snake as he stepped on the gas.

“Seriously, you were brilliant. You just needed one look to analyze the old man, you knew exactly how to get him. I wish I could do that.”

“Experience, sweetling. That is all. The business men here are nothing in comparison to the Dornish.”

“Yes, I know.” Brienne looked back at her three months trip through Dorne. Without Oberyn, she wouldn't have been able to get one single client. She knew that.

“You still want to see the good in people”, he elaborated as they flew over the concrete, “which is very admirable in every day life. But in business, there are no good people. The good people never get to the top, Brienne. Their backs only serve as ladders for the bad ones.”

“You're not so bad.”

Oberyn laughed. “Oh, I am, sweetling. I'm willing to do anything for my country. I would destroy every Westerosi business if it was necessary. Even yours”, he added with a glance and a smirk.

“Then it was a wise choice to only sell 49%.”

“Yes, it was. You don't have the ruthlessness it takes to make it to the top, but you're cautious enough to not go under.”

“I believe that if you have a good product and service, you don't need to be ruthless to make it. And I don't need to be on top.”

“Oh, but I bet you'd look glorious, love.”

It took her a moment. Then she rolled her eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop this already?”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I desire you?”

Brienne's heart skipped a beat.

“I came to this rotten city in hopes that we would share much more than a company.”

For once, there was no flirtatious smile on his face, no humor in his voice.

“What?!”

“I want you as my lover. I want to show you what it can be like with a man. I ensure you, you will leave my bed satisfied every time.”

 _Fucking hells_ , Brienne thought desperately. _Jaime was right! SHIT!_

“Are you serious?” she asked him a little breathlessly, wishing they weren't in a speeding car so she could jump out and run, run, run.

Now he turned his face to her, smiling again. “Of course. Why wouldn't I?”

Brienne blinked.

“Because you're not beautiful? Feminine? I enjoy diversity in my lovers, Brienne, and you are enticing in a way I've rarely encountered. I've met strong women before, physical as well as emotional, but I've never met one like you, where strength is so deliciously paired with innocence. You intrigue me. I want to find out what you're hiding behind your sturdy walls. I'm sure you are a sensual, passionate woman. And believe me, everyone dreams of that. Unfortunately there are too many fools who look but don't observe, not understanding what a sensual treasure you are.”

Brienne was gaping at him. Oberyn's words where echoing inside her head. She was baffled.

  
_Seven hells. The prince of fucking Dorne Martell wants to be my lover. First Jaime, now him. What is happening? All my life I've been called ugly and now two of the sexiest men I've ever seen want me?! Am I a character in an unrealistic, syrupy novel or something?!_

  
It took some effort to wrap her head around this. It was just so ridiculous.

“I...”, she began, still a massive _WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?_ echoing through her head, “thank you, but no.”

The prince merely chuckled.

“Are you sure? I don't mind sharing you with the lion. I wouldn't mind enjoying both of you, for that matter. I bet the three of us would have a lovely time.”

_I bet Jaime would punch you in the face if you ever lay a hand on my again in his presence._

The mental picture of both Oberyn and Jaime making love to her did wicked things to her body, so she hurried to deny once more.

“I think neither Jaime nor me are good at sharing.”

They entered the business district of KL and instantly, the traffic thickened. The Sand Viper slowed down and the engine was now silent enough that Brienne could hear her rapid heartbeat.

“Shame. Then again, no surprise. Lannister is a very possessive man...which is part of his charm, I guess.”

“Are you attracted to Jaime?” she couldn't help but ask.

Oberyn chuckled and shrugged. “He's a beautiful man.”

_Yes, he is._

“What's he like in bed?”

Brienne's face was instantly aflame and she stammered some incoherent nonsense until Oberyn stopped her with a laugh.

“I'm not asking for details. But is he gentle? Rough? Top or bottom? Any kinks?”

By now Brienne was contemplating to jump out of the bloody car and run the rest of the way.

“We...haven't done it yet. We're taking it slow.”

Oberyn hit the brakes. Granted, there was a red light, but he hit them too hard. His head snapped around and he stared at her through his mirrored sunglasses (another power move, he had told her once).

“You're in love.”

The tone of his voice suggested complete bafflement.

“Of course we are. Why do you sound surprised?” When there was no reply, her heart clenched. “Do you think he couldn't love someone like me?!”

That shook him out of his state. “No, no. Of course he could. I was merely surprised. I thought you were casual. I didn't think he would...never mind.”

The light changed and he entirely focused on driving, only the hint of a frown visible on his forehead. That's when Brienne began suspecting that Oberyn might know about Jaime and Cersei. This suspicion was confirmed 15 minutes later, after he had parked in the underground garage of the Red Keep tower. Instead of climbing out of the car straight away, Oberyn opened his seat belt and took off his sun glasses, folding them up with his elegant fingers.

“Are you serious about him?”

His voice was gentle. She'd never heard it like this before.

“Very”, Brienne nodded.

Oberyn's jaw clenched. He was thinking.

“Brienne, there are things in his past...dark things that I think you should know about.”

Her heart stopped beating. Panic filled her. She felt like she had been discovered, that Jaime's secret was her secret, too.

“I know everything.”

Dark eyes darting up to hers, searching, wondering. Blue eyes looked back, unwavering.

“Then you're an even stronger woman than I've thought”, he said with a gentle smile and took her hand. “I wish you nothing but happiness, sweetling.”

Brienne blushed. Damn those dark eyes and his soft tone.

“Thank you”, she rasped and with what she hoped was a smile, she squeezed his hand. He squeezed it back and Brienne knew that she had a friend.

  
  


Nothing of this would she tell Jaime, though. She thought it best not to do anything to feed the jealousy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one, granted. But I still like it. I like Oberyn. <3


	19. Nightmare

„Brienne!“  
  
Her pulse racing. Her heart drumming. Tears on her cheeks. Sweat sticking to her face, back and chest.

“Brienne?”

“Jaime?” she gasped, looking around in the dark.

She was in her bedroom, sitting up in her bed, panting hard. Swallowing heaps of air, she wiped her face.

“What happened?” she asked the man at the other end of the line and checked her alarm clock on her bedside table. 3:25 am.

“I think you had a nightmare.”

Letting out a deep breath, she ran a hand through her damp hair. “I don’t remember.”  
“No?”

“No. Did I say something?”

No reply. She lay back in her bed, pulling the phone lying on the pillow next to her closer. His silence told her everything she needed to know.

“I’m sorry”, she said softly.

Jaime exhaled. “You said his name. And you called me. Begged me to come…I didn’t…”

Seven hells. He sounded as distraught as her body felt.

“Jaime –“

“I will always be there for you, Brienne. Always. I would fly across the world if you needed me.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “I know.”

“Your subconscious thinks differently.”

“Well, what does she know?”

“I’m serious.”

She could hear that. He sounded truly upset. Had she been at the party in her dream? Had she called for Jaime to rescue her after Hyle had used and humiliated her? Apart from the bodily signs, she was fine. No lingering feeling of fear or pain, mainly confusion. Odd.

After Jaime let out another breath, Brienne turned on her bedside lamp before she rolled onto her side and reached for her phone. Hesitating a second, she requested a vid call.

“You don’t ha –“

“Please”, she softly pleaded.

A click, then Jaime accepted. There was a warm yellow light illuminating him and the dark, wooden wall behind him. Most probably his closet. Even from here she could see the wood was exquisite.

“Hey”, she couldn’t help but smile. Seeing Jaime lie in his white sheets, hair tousled from sleep, a few lines from the pillow on his cheek, was simply too adorable.

“Hey”, he whispered, his eyes roaming her face, searching.

“I’m fine”, she ensured him.

“You were crying.”

“Dream-Brienne was.”

“Yes…” His eyes were glistening.

Boy, what did she do?! He looked as if he was about to burst into tears any second.

“Do you know what happened in my dream?”

“I think so.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

“No.”

She sighed. “That bad, huh?”

“Yes”, he croaked.

Not knowing what to say, Brienne snuggled into her pillow, looking at him. Jaime looked back. For a long moment, no one said anything. Until Azora tried to speak up, complaining about the light. It was a croaky, tired meow. Brienne and Jaime chortled.

“Where is she?”

Brienne turned the phone and held it in her direction, letting him watch how Azora blinked her blue eyes lazily.

“I’m sorry, baby. Do you want to cuddle?”

Azora yawned, showing off her white teeth and her tongue, licked her nose and meowed an affirmative. Then she looked at Brienne expectantly.

Brienne – knowing this game very well – lifted the blanket. Only then did her highness move her feline ass. Purring loudly she climbed her human like a mountain, bumping her head against her face before she gracefully climbed off her again, using her breast as a ladder. The white furball settled against her chest, meowing and headbutting her breastbone until Brienne curled her arm around her, creating a nest she could roll up in. Azora was already snoozing with the head on her biceps as Brienne carefully draped the blanket over her until only that remained in the open. Gentle movements with her fingers through her fur kept the soothing purr going.

“She’s adorable”, came Jaime’s comment.

Brienne smiled at him. “Soon, you’ll have to fight with her over the other side of the bed. You won’t find her adorable then. She’s a vicious foot biter.”

Jaime smiled.

“That’s where you’ve got it wrong, wench. I’ll be sleeping tightly wrapped around you. On your side. So there will be plenty of space for her.”

Brienne bit her lip, hiding her blush in the white fur of her cat.

“I love you, Brienne.”

The tone of his voice made her heart clench and her eyes dart up.

“I love you, too.”

“I will always love you”, he whispered, his eyes once more filling with tears. “I will never leave you. Never.”

Brienne swallowed the lump in her throat. “Is that what the dream was about? You leaving me?”

He nodded. “I think we met Hyle and I left you with him. I just walked away.”

She honestly couldn’t remember anything.

“I will never leave you”, he repeated, his voice shaking.

“Jaime, I know. I’m sorry for the dream. I really don’t remember.”

“It wasn’t the first night.”

“What?!”

“You…you had a few nightmares before, but this was the worst, by far.”

“Seven hells, really? How long has this been going on?”

“Ever since we set a date.”

“Jaime…” So that’s why he was so upset.

His chin wobbled and his eyes were glassy. It was killing her to see him like this.

“Come over”, she whispered.

His lips parted and his eyes widened, sparking with hope. Only for a second. Then he gulped.

“You don't mean that.”

“I do.”

He looked at her again. So sad. So lonely.

“I'm ready, Jaime. I have been for a while. If you need me now, then let's do it now.”

She whispered her address.

It had been a silent understanding between them not to share this information. She had no idea where he lived, knowing it would drive her crazy to try not show up on his doorstep and throw herself into his arms. And she knew it was the same for him. But to hell with all that.

“Why did you do that?! I'll...gods, wench, it's not fair to tell me where you live. It's cruel. It's so difficult to be apart from you...”

He buried his face in his pillow for a moment and she could see, gods she could see the pain he was feeling in the flexing of the muscles in his neck, shoulders and arms.

“Then come, Jaime. Come over.”

He sniveled and wiped his face on the white pillow, then he came up for air again, not meeting her eyes.

“You don't mean that”, he repeated. “It's only a few weeks, I can wait. I'm fine. Admittedly, the nightmare has shaken me a little but -”

“No”, she interrupted, “I can see that you're not fine. Why didn't you tell me?”

“Because I know you need this time.”

Her heart clenched with love and pain. Seeing him so distressed...she'd been so fucking selfish...

“But you need to be with me.” The self-loathing part in her flinched at this statement, still wondering what this gorgeous man wanted with her. “This entire relationship has been about _my_ needs. I'm so sorry, Jaime. I'm a horrible person -” - “Don't say that”, he objected - “I don't want my anxieties to cause you pain. If you can't wait any longer, then come. Come over...and never leave again.”

Jaime looked at her with his magnificent eyes for a long moment, all sorts of emotions flaring up in them. Both of them knew that once they'd met, they'd never part again. They would spent the rest of their lives together.

“You're not ready”, Jaime protested weakly.

“I am”, she assured him.

Another pause where he looked at her.

“You are ready,” he observed, gazing deeply into her eyes, seeing past all her walls straight into her heart, “but you want to wait.”

Brienne's heart clenched. “Not if you-”

“Why?” A question spoken softly, gently, patiently. She didn't deserve him. “Explain it to me. If I don't feel better, then I will come.”

Brienne let out a deep breath. Once again, he made it about her. A protest lay on the tip of her tongue, along with another invitation to just come over and end both their misery, but his eyes – a dark green in this light – made her swallow both. Then she shrugged, looking at Azora, stroking her little head.

“It's silly, perhaps, but...I'm taking these last weeks to say goodbye.”

“To what?”

A pinch in her heart. She looked up at him. At her future.

“To being alone.”

Jaime frowned.

“I've been alone for a very long time, Jaime. Ever since I moved here, I've lived alone. I've been living in this apartment for 11 years. I moved in when I was 16. I came from Tarth, broken and miserable, trying to not go under. The only thing that kept me going was my education and the determination to prove Hyle and all the others that they hadn't destroyed me. I couldn't stand the thought of living in a dorm at college, so utterly disappointed in...humans in general, I guess. I was alone for almost a year, so very alone. I can't tell you how many tears I've spilled in this apartment”, Brienne half chortled, “but eventually, I found friends. I fell in love with Renly and followed him around campus like an idiot -”

“Wait. What?!”

_Woops._

“Oh...guess I haven't told you about that.”

“No, you didn't!”

“It was ridiculous. I knew he was gay. He was already involved with Loras but still in the closet, Margaery being his official girlfriend.” Brienne shook her head at the memories. What a time. “I was making an idiot of myself, but...after Hyle I thought I'd never fall in love again, so in a very weird way loving Renly, a man who simply rejected me for his sexual orientation was...healing. It wasn't my fault. I wasn't ugly. I simply was the wrong gender.” Brienne shook her head again, smiling at her teenage self. “It was a safe form of love. And, although I was miserable, it was bearable. It's hard to explain...Anyway, eventually I moved past this crush and we became friends. My apartment wasn't so empty anymore. Being one of the few students who had their own place, we hung out here most of the time if we weren't at a bar or a club. I...I became a friend. There were people who valued me, came by just to see if I wanted to hang out. It was great.”

Brienne smiled at the fond memories passing behind her eyelids.

“But eventually, college ended. I started my company, hired my friends. Renly and Loras married. The apartment grew silent again, everyone busy with their own lives, which is the nature of things and absolutely fine. But I heard the silence too often, so I got Azora. With her as a very dominant roommate, the apartment was much less silent. I didn't feel lonely anymore. I was at peace for a long while.”

She smiled at Jaime. “Then I met this man, CFO by day, stripper by lunchtime,” Jaime chuckled, “and from the very first moment our eyes met across the street, I knew my life would change again.”

Jaime's lips parted, his eyes were burning. “I knew it, too. From the very first look, wench.”

She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. She blinked them away.

“There is no doubt in my heart that we will be together for the rest of our lives, Jaime”, she whispered and he nodded instantly. “I can't wait for this new chapter to begin. I'll never be alone again and...as crazy as that sounds, it makes me melancholic. Not because I will miss the loneliness, but...because it is a part of my path. I had to go through all of this so I could meet you.”

Jaime pressed his lips together and scrunched his nose. A tear slipped out, anyway.

“I just...I don't know. Now that this chapter of my life ends, I...,” she frowned, looking for the right words. “I feel so humble. And grateful. For everything. My family. My friends. Most of all you.”

“Brienne”, he breathed and closed his eyes, another tear running down his nose.

Seeing his tears always brought on her own, so she swallowed down the lump in her throat and tried to stir to a lighter topic.

“Also, I'm prepping the apartment.”

Jaime opened his eyes. Brienne smiled at him.

“I'm cleaning every inch of this apartment, parts I haven't cleaned in years. I've cleaned under the fridge and every closet and cabinet. It was disgusting. You don't want to know what I found under there.”

Jaime chuckled. “I think I do.”

“Let's just say I know for certain that Renly and Loras had sex in my apartment.”

Jaime made a face. “Not a ten year old condom?!”

“Ew, gods no!” Brienne shook herself at the thought. “A pair of boxers with Loras' name stitched into them.”

Jaime laughed. “What did you do with it?”

“What do you think? I washed it and gave it back to him.”

Jaime laughed again. Brienne grinned.

“It's the first time I've seen Loras blush. Not about the sex on my couch part, mind you. He was embarrassed about the name in his underwear.”

Jaime's laugh was full of mirth, his face so effing beautiful.

“That man”, did he chortle and shook his head. “Please, can I tease him with that? I have to.”

Brienne thought about it. “Only if he ever makes another comment about us.”

“Deal”, Jaime chuckled and snuggled into his pillow, smiling at her, a strand of hair falling into his eye so handsomely she almost reached out to brush it away. _Soon,_ she thought longingly.

“You don't have to clean for me, love”, Jaime said after he had calmed down.

“No, I...I'm really enjoying this. Getting everything ready. It helps me to wrap my head around all of this.” And here she blushed: “I bought new sheets, some sweets you like, a Lannister red toothbrush, your favorite pasta and cereal. I ordered a spice rack and spices I haven't even heard of before I met you and a gigantic chaise lounger which hardly fits on my balcony.”

“Brie, you don't have to -”

“But I want to, Jaime. I've never got to do this. Making space for someone. I love it. Every time I look into my closet I smile. I've cleared two shelves and I can't wait for your shirts, pants and underwear to be there. It makes me ridiculously happy and excited. Only a few weeks and you'll be here. I want everything to be perfect. I want you to feel welcome here. I want you to feel at home. I want this to be as much your home as your own apartment.”

Brienne almost giggled with happiness. “Also, I'm grooming. Margaery booked a day at a spa for us where, amongst other things, I'll have things waxed. I'm getting my teeth cleaned, I'm taking my temperature, I've bought new clothes -”

“Woah, woah. Slow down, sweetling.”

Brienne blinked, needing a second to realize what she had been babbling about. A blush exploded on her cheeks and she hid her face in Azora's fur again, only her eyes peeking out, looking up at Jaime, who was looking at her with wildfire in his eyes.

“I love you just as you are, Brie. Nothing of this is necessary. I don't care if your legs are waxed or not.”

“Well...”, Brienne blushed an even deeper shade of red, “not just my legs...”

The intake of breath from the other end of the line made her gnaw on her bottom lip.

“Wench”, he gulped and Brienne's nipples hardened instantly. His gaze was intense. “Don't. I want...”, he gulped again, “I like it natural...If I can make a request.”

He tried a smirk, but his flat breathing gave him away.

“Are you sure?”

“Fuck, yes”, he purred and a shiver ran down her spine.

“Alright.”

Jaime closed his eyes for a moment. Brienne would never comprehend why this man found her so sexy, but she knew he did and she couldn't be happier about it.

“In all seriousness though,” he began after he had somewhat calmed, “it really isn't necessary. I don't want you to feel the need to change anything about you. I love you. I want you. Exactly as you are. My sweet wench.”

The fondness in his tone made her smile.

“I know, Jaime. But as it turned out...I kind of like this part, too. It's not that I'm having plastic surgery or anything. I just...again, I've never got to do this before. It feels nice to put in some effort. I'm not changing. I just want to be the best version of myself.”

“You already are. I love you so much, Brienne.”

“I love you, too.”

Jaime smiled and looked at her with nothing but love in his eyes.

“I won't come over tonight”, he whispered, “we've made it this far. It's only a couple of weeks, I'll survive it.”

“Are you sure?”

Jaime nodded. “Yes. And should I change my mind, I'll just stop by and see if you want to hang out.”

Brienne chuckled. “You do that.”

“Can I?”

“Yes. Anytime, Jaime.”

Jaime frowned for a second. “You really are sure about us”, he stated, sounding baffled.

“I've never been so sure of anything in my life.”

With that, Jaime let out a breat...and relaxed. It looked like the weight of the whole world had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” she asked.

“For everything. For calling me that first time and every time since that. For becoming my best friend. For every minute I get to spend with you. For making room in your life for me. For letting me love you. For loving me back. I've never been so happy, Brienne. I look forward to our date, but I'm much more excited for what will follow. A lifetime with you. I've given up hope so long ago...I never thought I would have a family of my own.” He shook his head, smiling. “You'll never understand...no, you do. You do understand how much that means to me. You know me better than I know myself.”

She smiled.

“Thank you”, he repeated, his eyes expressing his meaning even better.

“I love you, Jaime.”

His eyes fell close. “I love you, too, Brienne.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure this is interesting, but this is a chapter that I've after I've written the ending, actually. I know it's mostly more syrup, but also needed tension for the ending. And I also kinda like imagining Brienne prepping the apartment - and herself lol - for her man.


	20. Countdown worries

Only a few weeks now.   
  
Brienne was anxious. Jaime was, too. He never said anything, continued to plan their magnificent first date, but she knew he was just as worried as her. They had stopped making love over the phone. Their conversations missed the usual lightness. That first meeting and the magnitude it would have on their unconventional relationship was weighing heavy on them. Every day went by with Brienne waiting for _something_. Something to happen which would end this wonderful dream.   
  
Jaime was so quiet these days. And sometimes he said things that made her skin crawl, that he was hers, that he would be with her at all costs, that she was all he cared about. Of course these were sweet things, but there was something in his tone that chilled her to the bone. One evening he was sort of joking how soon he would be a Tarth and he'd finally be free of the 'circus' that was his family, which finally gave her the clue that something must have happened.

Yet, she didn't dare to ask him. Neither of them did or said anything anymore that would ruin their calls, put more pressure on them.

It was exhausting.

So she asked Tyrion, who had lived up to his threat to continue to bother her. Actually, Brienne really began to like him. He called her when he knew Jaime was in meetings, asking about her day, her work, her hobbies. As soon as she had mentioned swimming he insisted on her teaching his wife how to swim, for she had never learned and due to his height, he couldn't teach their children himself. The ones old enough had learned the basics at school, but Tyrion wasn't satisfied at all with the level of skill they had displayed the few times he had gone swimming with them. By the end of that phone call, Brienne had promised to teach not only his wife, but his three children how to swim properly, having not the slightest idea how that had happened. Jaime had been right, Tyrion was conversational mastermind.

However, that wasn't not the phone call where she asked about Jaime. It came a few days later.

“Does your father know about me?” Brienne asked straight forward when the queasiness in her stomach had finally become unbearable.

The same shift in the air she felt whenever she mentioned his father to Jaime. Tyrion let out a breath.

“So he hasn't told you.”

Instantly, her heart clenched. “What happened?”

“Yes, Father knows. Put two and two together. It was only a matter of time before he figured it out, with his son being so happy after 40 years of misery.” He sighed again. “There was an ugly scene at family dinner two, no, three weeks ago. A lot of shouting and threats. It all ended when Tommen started crying. Ever since then, Jaime is scared shitless.”

“Why?”

When there was no reply, it dawned on her. An icy chill ran down her spine. “You and Tysha. Jaime said your father tried to interfere in your relationship.”

Tyrion let out a bitter laugh. “He has put it nicely then. My _dear_ father tried to destroy the woman I love, like he tries to destroy everything good in his children's lives. Despicable things he did, most of them I know, some of them neither Tysha nor Jaime will ever tell me. Father sent me to Essos for half a year. I know something happened in that time. I saw it in Jaime's eyes on my return. I see it every time he comes to visit us.”

There was a long, laden pause.

“Jaime is afraid that Father will do the same to you. Or worse. I'm the son he _doesn't_ like.” Brienne felt sick. “Right now, Jaime is trying to use this to his advantage. He is Tywin's golden boy, the only child he actually cares about. At that lovely dinner Jaime told him outright that should he date to go near you, he'd quit. Not only his job but his family, too.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a breath. “I would never make him choose. I can take care of myself. I just want us all to get along.”

“The choice has already been made, Brienne. Jaime loves you. He's a man who loves with all his heart and soul. Just like me. We never knew love, so we cling to it as desperately as we can.”

“Jaime had Cersei”, she half-whispered, her heart aching.

“No”, Tyrion objected lowly, “I was there. He never had her. She had him, utterly, completely, but she never gave back, not even the tiniest piece of her heart. She used him, enjoyed him, bathed in his burning love, but she never let herself love him back. Cersei is my father's true child. She listened to all his teachings, she absorbed his lectures about strength and power. Love is a weakness and she will never allow herself to be weak. Her heart is as cold as Father's. The only love she feels is for her children and even them she treats more like property than anything else.”

Tyrion let out a long breath.

“We're a fucked up bunch, Brienne. Malnourished in our youth we are starved of love. While Cersei grew hard and cold from it, Jaime and I turned soft. Too soft, perhaps.”

Brienne shook her head at that, swallowing the lump in her throat. “No. If your heart is anything like Jaime's, then it's perfect. He...he's so wonderful...so patient and kind...I've never felt so safe with a man...I'm sure Tysha feels the same.”

“I hope so”, he replied softly, “I would do anything for her. For our family...but I have failed her. Whatever happened, I failed to protect her then...I will always carry that with me...I can understand Jaime's fear. I don't want him to carry the same burden...”

“...Is this why you keep calling me? Are you checking up on me?”

“I admit it started out as that. But I actually like you, so things worked out quite nicely”, Tyrion joked, obviously trying to lighten the mood. “You let me brag about my family without complaint.”

“Even if I wanted to I doubt I could stop you”, she joined in.

“You could always hang up.”

“I'd never be that rude and you know it.”

Tyrion laughed. “I do.”

Brienne smiled. “Can I do anything to help Jaime? I...he's so quiet lately. I don't like it.”

“Which makes you the perfect woman for him. That man simply doesn't know when to shut up.”

“Seems all Lannister boys have that in common.”

“I want to be offended, but after chewing off your ear for several hours I can't justify it to myself.”

They shared a laugh.

“Don't worry about Jaime. We will get through this. And if Jaime does quit the family, so be it. It's about time he does something for himself. He deserves his happy ending.”

Unsatisfied, Brienne agreed. They switched to lighter topics – turned out Tyrion and her shared a lot of favorite books (most of them biographies) – and eventually, they hung up.

Afterwards Brienne stared at her phone, thoughts tumbling about in her mind. She rose from her chair and walked to the window, hugging herself, looking at Jaime's empty office for a long while. She felt so sorry for him, Tyrion and even Cersei. 'Starved of love', Tyrion had said. Yes, that's exactly what it was. Jaime hungered for love. Her love. He had gotten so little in his life that he had dived into this ridiculous form of a relationship, living off these tiny pieces of love she was feeding him.

Gods, she understood. Understood it so well. She was just like him. Every kind word, every smile he gave her she soaked up like a sponge. They were both starving, both wanting to be loved, both wanting to love so badly.

Just as the thought was consuming her mind, her boyfriend walked into his office, Pia behind him, speaking.

Brienne watched them talk as Jaime stepped behind his desk and rummaged around, probably looking for some documents.

A knot formed in her throat.

  
_Jaime_

  
  


So strong. So weak. So brave. So frightened. So gentle. So patient. So very loving.

How much she loved this man. She would do anything for him.

Yes, he deserved his happy ending.

She would protect him.

She would make it happen, no matter what it took. No matter what his father would do to her, there was nothing that could make her give him up. Now or ever.

  
His father...

  
Brienne frowned. Thoughtfully, she kept watching Jaime with her blue eyes. At the moment, he was nodding along as Pia talked, both of them now searching the desk, Pia sorting the documents rather than pushing them from left to right.

She knew Jaime loved his father. Despite it all, he craved his father's respect and love as probably all children did. But she knew Tyrion was right, he would choose her if his father made him. Brienne didn't want this to be a choice. They were living in the 21st century, for heavens' sake. A peaceful coexistence must be possible. That's all she was asking for. She didn't want to take Jaime away from his father, his brother, or his children. Cersei, granted, she wouldn't mind to keep him far away from her, but she was his sister and twin. Brienne would never demand him to stay away from her or anything crazily jealous like that.

If Tywin Lannister didn't welcome her with open arms, so be it. But he had to accept his son's choice. He had to accept her.   
  
Pia had found the documents, apparently, for she was hurriedly shoving some into a black folder and holding it out to him. Jaime talked as he took it from her. Together they walked out of the office, Pia closing the door.

Brienne took a deep breath, stared at the empty office, and made a decision.

Determinedly, she walked to her desk and called Podrick.

“Yes, Miss Tarth?”

“Please get me Tywin Lannister's number, Podrick.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuun...
> 
> Good Cliffhanger oder lame cliffhanger? I tried.


	21. The Blue Knight

For the second time, Brienne entered the other Red Keep tower. With a fast beating heart she walked up to the desk and stated her business. The receptionist made a call, then he gave her directions, smiling. Unable to smile herself, she simply nodded, walking to the elevator, staring at her reflection as she waited for it to come down. She ran her fingers over the soft white cotton, closing her eyes for a moment.

Jaime's shirt.

Her armor.

Covered with an indigo colored blazer and matching pants. The suit in which she had convinced Oberyn Martell to let her do business in his country.

Her lucky charm.

A ding signaled the arrival of the elevator. The doors slid open and she stepped inside, pressing the bottom for the floor two over Jaime's. As she watched the numbers light up, she couldn't help the yearning clench of her heart as she passed Jaime's floor. He had been in his office when she had left hers. Was he still there?

  
_I'm here, Jaime. I will make this right. You will get your happy end._  
  
  
The elevator slowed and stopped. The doors opened. Her heart was pounding. Nausea rolled through her. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her back, held her head high and exited the cabin.

She had thought Jaime's floor had been unnecessarily pompous with all the dark wood covering the walls. This was next level, though.

Marble. Actual black marble walls and flooring, an endless red carpet softening her steps, occasionally the golden _LBS, Inc._ logo printed on it.

As usual, Brienne wasn't impressed with this display of wealth.

 _Walking through these corridors every day would make me suicidal_ , was where her mind was going.

Just walking through it right now was suffocating her. It felt like the walls were closing in on her. Horrible.

She was just about to round the corner when she almost ran into someone.

“Oh, goodness!” a breathless woman with short black hair and big brown eyes exclaimed after Brienne had caught her before she could fall. “Miss Tarth, I'm so sorry wasn't at the elevator to meet you.”

“It's fine. The receptionist gave me directions.”

The woman, which Brienne assumed was the Dark Lord's assistant, smiled. Then she took a deep breath.

“Anyway, I'm Taena, Mr. Lannister's assistant. Welcome to _LBS, Inc_. Mr. Lannister is expecting you. Please follow me.”

Now lead by the assistant, Brienne used the opportunity to run through her prepared speech a couple more times and all the arguments she had imagined in her head since she had arranged this meeting.

Once again her fingers grazed the hem of her shirt.

Too soon they reached their destination.

“Would you like anything to drink, Miss Tarth?”

“No thank you, Miss...Taena.”

Taena smiled and moved around her desk and picked up the phone.

“Miss Tarth, Mr. Lannister.”

After a moment, she hung up and walked around her desk again to the door, knocking.

 _All that tiresome ceremonial_ , Brienne couldn't help but think, inwardly rolling her eyes. Such a waste of time.

The door to the office opened and Taena made a welcoming gesture. Taking another deep breath, Brienne stepped in.

It was no surprise that Tywin Lannister's office was gigantic. Almost her entire apartment could fit inside. Ridiculous waste of space. What did surprise her was that it wasn't made of marble, as well. It was a surprisingly light room, with white painted walls except the one behind his desk, which was Lannister red, with a giant carpet with the old House sigil hanging on it. For a moment she stared at the golden lion and looked at the sharp claws before she let her eyes wander down.

There he was.

She had seen him before, of course, but here, in his territory, he looked even more imperial.

Her blue eyes met his cold ones.

A shiver down her spine.

“Would you like another coffee, sir?” came Taena's soft voice from behind Brienne's shoulder.

“No. Call Robert and remind him of the meeting at four.”

“Yes, sir.”

With that, the pretty assistant left.

Alone with the old lion.

Brienne tried to calm down her heartbeat.

  
_You can do this. For Jaime. For your future. Face the lion. Be a knight._

 

“Take a seat, Miss Tarth.”

“Thank you.”

She had to work on her voice. That had sounded like a little school girl in the principal's office.

  
_Warrior._

_Not frightened child._

  
After she had sat down, they stared at each other. Brienne was working on that bravery, her fingers curling around the hem of her shirt.

Tywin's jaw clenched impatiently.

“Since you didn't bring any papers for me to look at I gather this is a social call?”

The harshness in his voice frightened her, but this pinch of fear was only reminding her of what she had come here to do, what she was fighting for.

“More or less”, she replied, straightening in her seat. “I'm here to discuss my acceptance into your family.”

Instantly, the temperature in the room cooled down several degrees. The Dark Lord's eyes flashed with anger.

Brienne brushed her thumb over the fabric of her shirt.

“My son was not willing to discuss anything. He declared. Threatened.”

“So I heard.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I disagree with Jaime. This shouldn't be a choice.”

Tywin's eyes narrowed. Gods, that man had mastered the stare, hadn't he? Brienne tried hard not to shudder, kept her mind focused on her goal.

“He doesn't know you're here.”

“No.”

Tywin leaned back in his chair, rested his elbows on his armrests and pressed his fingertips together, staring at her some more, trying to analyze her motives.

He really was the Dark Lord, Brienne thought annoyed.

“What do you want, Miss Tarth?”

  
_Here it goes. Remember: Calm but confident._

  
“Acceptance. Peace. Safety”, she added after a second, at which Tywin's eyes flashed once more. “I'm not expecting a warm welcome from you. I'm not going to ask for any favors, whether in business or private. I'm not using Jaime to advance my company.”

“You already did.”

A sudden rush of anger. “He called me! I just tried to help -”

She stopped herself. Calm. This had to be calm.

“We just did our jobs, sir. And with all due respect, it benefited _LBS_ more than it did _Tarth Digital_. My relationship with your son was not a factor. In fact, there wasn't a relationship then.”

Tywin looked at her for a moment. His voice was hard when he spoke.

“Once the press hears of this affair, _LBS_ will be under fire again. We just got the mess Stannis made under control. With you two gallivanting about town the media will accuse us of being unprofessional...and you of prostitution, most probably.”

Brienne took in a sharp breath. She blinked. Composed herself. “Of course, this is a possibility. But we're not gallivanting. It's not an affair...This is serious, sir.”

Tywin snorted, shifting angrily in his chair.

“My son has never had a serious relationship. This is clearly some sort of midlife-crisis.”

  
_Thanks, asshole._  
  
  
“I'm not here to explain or justify our relationship to you. I'm here to prevent a permanent falling-out between you and your son. I know that neither of you want that. But I know Jaime will leave this company and this family if you don't stop this nonsense.”

“Nonsense?!”

_  
Oh oh._

  
“Miss Tarth, you might think you know my son, but I know him far longer than you do. I've taught my son the values of family. The importance of legacy. He knows what his duty is and even though he is...distracted from it now, he will remember and then this farce will end. He's a Lannister. He'll always be a Lannister.”

Brienne's fingers were clawed into her shirt.

“No”, she retorted firmly, “he'll be a Tarth, soon.”

“What?!”

The Old Lion looked ready to pounce. Brienne's instincts shouted at her to flee. Adrenaline was being pumped through her veins, her cheeks were glowing, her heart was pounding. Yet somehow, she managed to sound calm.

“I'm the last Tarth. The isle has been owned by my family since before the Eve of the Last Night. I need heirs. And they will not be Lannisters.”

Brienne expected to be murdered any second now.

“Jaime is _my_ heir. Casterly Rock has been in _our_ family since before the Eve of the Last Night. Gods be damned if I let Jaime cast aside his name and rule it as a Tarth!”

  
_Rule it?! What is this, the middle ages?! Get some perspective, gods._

 

“Give it to Tyrion, then. It could be a first step to a reconciliation. He'll carry on the name with his six children. I doubt Jaime and I will ever get to six. I got him to agree to two for now.”

At this Tywin paused, probably surprised, the murdering glare cooling down to a wary stare.

“He has proposed to you.”

At this, Brienne blushed.

“No...but I think he will. We've talked about the future. As I said, this is serious. This will be a lifetime, sir, whether as husband and wife or life partners. I'm fine with both.”

“I'm not! My son living with a woman, having children with her out of wedlock?! Unacceptable!”

 

_Can someone please beam this man into the 21 st century with the rest of us?!_

  
  
Tywin shifted in his seat, rested his elbows on the antique, admittedly beautiful table, his eyes staring, his jaw clenching. Thinking. Planning.

Brienne felt more and more uncomfortable with every passing second in this loaded silence. Not that she'd been anything close to comfortable since she'd entered this room.

Just when the nervousness bubbling inside her belly was about to make her speak, he did.

“This time, we will control the flow of information. There will be scheduled, prepared interviews with a selection of journalists. The wedding will be held at the Rock in the Lannister style Westeros is expecting, including tasteful media presence.”

Brienne blinked.

What the seven hells had just happened?

“What?” she couldn't help but ask dumbly.

“Some photographs from the honeymoon, as well, which will end with your return to the Rock and a party where we announce Tyrion as heir to Casterly and, ideally, you announce your pregnancy, but I guess this is a not very influenceable variable.”

  
_OH MY FUCKING SEVEN GODS WHAT IN YOUR NAMES IS FUCKING HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!_

  
Brienne gaped at him.

“If Jaime is to give up his family name for your little island, we have to shift some attention from his offspring back to the Lannisters. If you're not pregnant by the time you return from your honeymoon, we can simply announce it in the paper and hope that no one sees it. _Jaime Tarth_ ”, he spat, shaking his head.

And then he relaxed. Like it had all been settled!

...Wait. Had it?

Had Tywin Lannister just agreed to let his first-born give up his inheritance and marry her?  
  


...Fucking seven hells, he had!

  
For a sweet, sweet moment Brienne's heart swelled to tenth it size, almost exploding in her chest. Her thoughts, her mind, her heart and soul flew down the floors to Jaime's office to hug him tight, to kiss him everywhere, to tell him that she had managed, that she had made his father accept her into the family.

Her head was so lost in the seven heavens that it took her a few moments to discover the stumbling blocks on their path.

“If that is all - “ Tywin started.

“No”, Brienne interrupted, taking a mind-clearing breath. “It's not all.”

  
A voice inside her told her to not ruin this, to just be happy with what she got and get the hell out of the lion's den, but she had the feeling that if she didn't negotiate this now, there wouldn't be another chance.

“I agree to the interviews and the semi-public wedding, but we will have a quiet ceremony beforehand, on Tarth, in the sept where my parents were wed.”

“Fine”, Tywin agreed after a moment.

  
_Alright. Great. Now to the tough part. Seven, a little help would be much appreciated._

  
“Jaime will remain working here for five more years. By then, the media should have lost interest in all of this. Then we will move to Tarth to raise the children.”

As expected, Tywin's chest swelled with new anger.

“My son, a stay-at-home father?!”

“If that is what he wants, then yes. He could also take over my father's position as delegate in the Senate, representing Tarth. Since the isle is family owned, there is no voting.”

The lion's chest deflated a little. Brienne could only imagine what went on in the Dark Lord's mind, but from the unholy glint in his eyes she suspected that he found the idea of his son as a part of the Westerosi government...interesting.

“Acceptable.”

  
_And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you negotiate your private future with your boyfriend's father._

_Now get the hell out before he changes his mind!_

  
Nodding to herself as well as Tywin, Brienne rose from her chair and held out her hand. Tywin stood, took it – and held it.

Brienne froze.

“One more thing, Miss Tarth.” Those blue eyes were so effing soul-piercing. “I want to see my grandchildren.”

From all the things cold, manipulating or power-hungry Tywin Lannister could have said, not in a million years would Brienne have guessed that.

“Why?” The question simply burst out of her.

There came a light into his eyes, something she wanted to identify as sorrow.

“I'm rather fond of children. Clever ones, at least”, he added quickly when he noticed the soft tone in his voice, “Since you're both intelligent, there is no reason to assume your children won't be... Tyrion has forbidden me to see my grandchildren. I want at least Jaime's children to know me. I don't want to be remembered as a scary bed time story.”

A twinge in her heart. Something softened for the old lion in this moment, and it would stay soft for the rest of her life, no matter how annoying her father-in-law would be in the future.

“We will not join family dinner, but we'll be happy to have you on Tarth for your summer vacation.”

“I don't take vacations”, he growled, as if she had just insulted him.

“You will”, she stated simply.

After clenching his jaw a few times, he nodded and finally let go of her hand.

They said their goodbyes and then she was standing on the other side of the office door, feeling light-headed.

Dazzled from the events in the last half-hour, Brienne let Taena guide her back to the elevator, where she left her with a friendly smile.

For gods know how long Brienne simply stood there and stared, processing.

  


They were free. There was nothing in their way anymore. In one week and three days, they would have their happy ending.

Brienne called the elevator.  
  


                                            In one week and three days, they would have their first date.  
  
  
The elevator dinged its arrival.  
  


                                            In one week and three days, all the longing and heartache would end.  
  
The doors slid open.  
  


                                            In one week and three days, their lives would finally begin.

  


Brienne stepped inside. The doors slid close again. She looked at her reflection in the golden elevator doors.

  


_Fuck one week and three days!_

_  
Not one more day without you!_

  
  
Brienne punched the button for Jaime's floor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GO GET YOUR LION, BRIENNE! WOHOOO!!
> 
> Not entirely happy with their conversation, to be honest. I think it lacks the typical Tywin sharpness. Not enough threats in there. But the few other attempts I made weren't any better, so I went with this one. Also, there is enough drama out there. It was a long journey for them. Maybe I just wanted Tywin out of the way to have our happy ending...I'm a weak author. Had I written GOT, it would have sucked. No one good would die and everyone would live in peace and harmony until it was time to kick some Night King ass; as a united front. XD


	22. Their happy end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, guys! The final scene. What a journey. First of all I want to thank everyone who left kudos and comments on my first long Braime fic. Your support means a lot to me. Thank you so much.  
> Saying goodbye to this fic makes me both melancholic and proud. I really like this version of them in this modern setting. Writing this was so much fun. *sighs*  
> Okay, enough bla bla. Here we go:

She had expected to be nervous. She had expected her heart to beat so fast it might burst out of her chest. But the way to him was the easiest she had ever taken. With every step in his direction, Brienne grew calmer. With every step, her insecurities vanished. With every step towards Jaime, the memory of Hyle vanished more and more. What he had done to her simply wasn't important anymore.

Finally, the wounds Hyle had inflicted had formed into scars, not pretty, rough in texture, but painless.

Finally, she had found a man who she could trust and love.

A smile spread on Brienne's lips as she rounded the corner and the sound of Pia's voice echoed through the hallway.

  
_Jaime_

_My Jaime_

_My future_

_My happy ending_

  


Another turn and Jaime's office came into view, Pia's desk in front of it. She was just taking a paper carton from a small, chubby man with curly brown hair. Perfect timing, she couldn't help but think. As she approached Brienne watched Piet from _Hot Pie_ say his farewell and turn away, walking in her direction. To her surprise, he smiled as he saw her.

“Hello, Miss Tarth. Finishing early today?”

Brienne nodded and they shared a smile as Piet passed her. They had never been officially introduced. Had he looked her up on the internet? Well, for months now she was sending his regular customer baked goods and vice versa. Maybe he had been curious...

A gasp shook her out of her musings. Pia had spotted her.

“Oh, Maiden! Oh, Mother! It's happening! It's finally happening! Is it happening?”

Brienne couldn't help the chuckle as she saw Pia clutching her hands and looking up at her with her big brown eyes, excitement written all over her face.

As Brienne nodded, Pia let out a little squeal and actually did a little hop. Then she came rushing to her, crushing her with a tight hug.

“Oh, gods! I'm so happy for you, so so happy!” She squeezed her, then she leaned back, holding on to her upper arms. “Thank you. He's been the worst. I've never seen him like that. He's so absentminded, so worried. He's been so afraid of losing you on the finish line...” Pia pressed her lips together, her eyes got wet. Then she blinked and smiled again, rubbing her arms. “But here you are, his lady knight, freeing him from this rotten tower to ride off into the sunset together.”

Brienne chortled. Finally, Pia let her go.

“Oh, this is perfect. We'll go in together. He'll probably faint!”

Now all excitement and mischief, Pia let out a snicker and rushed back to the desk to pick up the carton of chocolate muffins and chocolate croissants Brienne had ordered this morning and held it out to her. Brienne was just about to take it when she spotted the pink post-its on Pia's desk.

With a melancholy smile Brienne stepped around the assistant. Taking a blue pen she found on the desk, she wrote ' **Now** _'_ and drew a heart around it. Sticking it to the top of the carton, she finally took it out of Pia's hand.

“You guys are so ridiculously cute”, Pia sighed.

“Just ridiculous”, Brienne commented.

The women shared a smile.

“Ready?” Pia asked.

“Yes”, Brienne replied. She was. So very ready.

With a nod Pia turned around and knocked on Jaime's door. Now Brienne'e heart did beat faster. Butterflies were dancing around in her belly, but it was nothing but happy excitement. The kind of excitement you feel as a child right before opening nameday presents.

Pia opened the door and Brienne couldn't help remember the first time she had done this, allowing her to spend these precious moments alone in Jaime's office.

Now, however, the office wasn't empty.

“Order of Brienne!” Pia announced loud and proud, probably would have thrown confetti if she had had any.

Brienne couldn't help the smile when they found Jaime crouching in front of his desk, his back to them, fumbling with the cables of his laptop. His suit jacket was hung over one of the chairs in the corner and Brienne couldn't help admire his back muscles work beneath the white shirt he was wearing.

Brienne held her breath, waiting for him to turn, to look at her. At the same time she was looking at him, drinking in the shape of him, however hunchbacked it looked right now.

“Bronn is fired!”

Angrily, Jaime shoved the cables back into the ports of the docking-station of his laptop.

“You say that twice a week, Jaime”, Pia rolled her eyes.

“I mean it this time!” Jaime countered, pushing the last cable back into the port and rose, rounding his desk without looking at either of them.

“You say _that_ twice a week”, Pia shot back.

Brienne pressed her lips together not to laugh.

Jaime growled and waved his assistant off, sitting down at his chair, punching keys on his keyboard.

“Damn that bastard! All I said _Blackwater Rush_ are having a bad season, which they fucking do, and for that he breaks my new fucking laptop! Everything is upside down! Why the fuck is that even possible?! What idiot programs an operating system that has this function?! What the hell is that even for?!”

“Should I call him to fix it?” Pia asked, throwing Brienne an apologetic look.

“Already did. Told me to fix it myself or call my 'legs'. I'm going to fire him. I'm going to fire all of them”, he finished with a growl, punching more keys, then clicked around wildly with his mouse. When he tilted his head as far as he could to read the screen upside down, Brienne had a hard time not to burst with laughter.

_Maiden, that man. So fucking adorable._

“Well, actually-” Pia started, trying to get Jaime's attention, but her boss had already picked up the phone. Brienne saw him press the first button in the long row and couldn't help but smirk.  
  


_I'm not there, old man._

  
“Hey, Pod. It's Jaime. Yeah, I'm fine. Where is she?” Jaime rolled his chair to the window and looked up at Brienne's office.

Brienne gave Pia a nod. Pia rolled her eyes, smiled and squeezed her arm before she discreetly left the room, silently shutting the door.

“When will she be back?”

_How weird it is to be spoken about while you're right there_ , Brienne couldn't help but think when she crossed the remaining distance to him, her heart pounding, her chest tingling and warm.

While Jaime tried to pry information from Podrick about her whereabouts, Brienne silently rounded the desk and put the carton of baked goods next to his keyboard. She had to suppress another giggle when she saw the upside down screen.

“I have a serious technical problem and need her help!”

She rolled her eyes. _Drama queen._

Apparently, Pod was asking after said problem, for Jaime kept yammering on about his insubordinate head of IT, Bronn Blackwater. In a way, Brienne was loving this moment. Still undetected, she could bathe in his presence, listen to his voice, silently swoon at his full head of hair, could observe his gesticulating hands to her heart's delight.

“I'm going to fire him!” did Jaime insist. At Pod's reply, he sucked in a breath of air.

“She would never hire him! Brienne is a disciplined, hard working woman. She would never put up with that lazy _Blackwater Rush_ fan!” Brienne could hear Pod laugh and say something. “Well, they _are_ having a shit season!”

Gods, how much she loved this darling man.

She couldn't wait any longer. As she was contemplating if it would be too brazen to simply swivel his chair around and snog the life out of him, her eyes fell on speed dial 1 again. That's when she remembered her silly post-it note.

Oh, what the heck. He was always complaining how unromantic she was.

So she peeled the post-it off the carton while Jaime complained about his technical emergency once more...and leaned forward to stick the post-it to his phone, where she had stuck that other post-it so many weeks ago.

Jaime gasped. Froze. His head snapped around.

  
Green eyes met blue.

  
The love of her life had a look of complete shock on his face.

Brienne smiled at him for a moment, then she reached out for the speaker. Jaime's eyelids fluttered and his lips parted when her fingers curled around his.

Their first touch. So warm. So soft.

Gently, she pulled the speaker out of his hand, her eyes never leaving his.

“It's fine Pod, I've got this. Please move my five o'clock call with Mrs. Stokeworth to Monday and put me in as absent for the rest of the week...Thank you, Podrick. Have a good weekend.”

She leaned forward to hang up. His aftershave filled her nose. Mouthwatering.

Jaime was still hilariously frozen, staring up at her. The green of his eyes was warm and deep. Way more beautiful than all the pictures she had looked at.

_Jaime_

Brienne's hands were tingling to reach out, to touch him, to cradle his face, let her fingers run through his hair. But obviously Jaime was still processing, so instead she smiled and grabbed the keyboard. Sitting down on top of his desk, she placed the keyboard on her long thighs and pressed the short-cut and flipped the screen back into the right position without even look at it. Then she put the keyboard back and curled her hands around the edge of the desk.

“To answer your former question”, Brienne spoke calmly, looking at this most beautiful, most beloved face, “this function was programmed into the operating system so the IT guys could mess with _the man._ We're wicked like that.”

She grinned at him.

Jaime blinked, her little joke finally shaking him out of his state. His lips twitched into a smile, then he looked down at her hand. After a breath or two, his own hand came to lay beside her. Hesitatingly, he touched her palm with the tip of his middle finger. The sensation jolted up her arm straight into her heart.

“You're too early”, he croaked, staring at his finger stroking her knuckle. It felt like heaven.

“I know.”

He looked up at her. His brows knitted, his eyes wet, his jaw tense, his lips pressed together.

He looked scared.

_Oh Jaime..._

“I couldn't be apart from you for one more second”, she told him softly.

Jaime's lips parted and his eyes widened.

“Unless you're not ready. I could come back -”

With a protesting gasp he quickly put his arms around her legs, trapping her.

“I've been ready from the very first moment I saw you”, he croaked.

“I know”, Brienne whispered. Giving into an almost year-long need, Brienne reached out. Ever so gently she ran her long fingers through his amazing hair. Full, soft, the heat of his scalp warming her fingertips. Her heartbeat fluttered in her chest and she couldn't help the melancholy smile spreading on her lips. She should have done this 8 months ago, she couldn't help but think regretfully.

“Sorry it took me so long to get here.”

Jaime tried to smile, shaking his head. His eyes filled with tears. So did hers.

“Don't cry”, Brienne pleaded softly, “you know I cry when you cry.”

He nodded and pressed his lips together. Still, a tear escaped his lashes. Brienne's breath stuttered. She cupped his cheek and wiped it away. Caressed his cheekbone with her thumb.

Touching him felt so wonderfully familiar. His warmth and the feel of his skin were even better than she had imagined.

No more imagining. No more dreaming.

Finally, they were together.

She could touch him whenever she wanted. And she wanted to. So much.

“Jaime”, she whispered happily.

His face crumbled at the tone of her voice. With a sound that was half sob and half laugh Jaime rolled his chair between her legs and pressed his face against her stomach, hugging her tight. Fighting her own stupid tears, Brienne cradled him in her arms. She smiled and bent down so she could bury her face in his full mane, her fingers curling around the silken strands, the grip strong and reassuring. Never would she let him go. Never.

Kissing the top of his head Brienne rubbed her face on Jaime's hair like Azora so often did to her. At this thought she chortled, kissing the mane again. Again. Closed her eyes and breathed him in.

Fresh. Fruity.

Papaya.

Jaime used papaya-extract to keep his hair so thick and beautiful. Brienne smiled as she remembered the phone call where he had shared his beauty secrets with her.

Once again she ran her fingers through his mane, let her short nails scratch his scalp.

Jaime pulled her to him, nuzzled her stomach, breathed her in.

  
_Finally._

_Finally._

  
Minutes passed where they just held each other. Brienne was so very grateful that she was holding her Jaime in her arms. She was loved. And loved. So much. Gods, so much.

She was stroking him now, marveling at how natural this felt, all of this. Giving comfort and tenderness. Feeling him in her arms, feeling his warmth, his heartbeat.

_Yes. Oh, yes._

“I love you”, did she whisper into his hair, the words needing to be said or she'd burst.

Jaime pressed her against him for a moment, then he turned his head, coming out of his hiding place to look up at her, poking his chin into her belly. He looked adorable with his messed-up hair and the glistening eyes. Her long fingers framing his face made him look even more beautiful, she couldn't help but think.

“I love you, Brienne”, Jaime whispered, his eyes as deep and beautiful as the sea.

With a smile and warm cheeks she ran her thumb along his nose. Touching this unique man was such a privilege.

Unable to help herself, she booped the tip of his straight nose, grinning like a madwoman.

Jaime however, neither commented nor smiled.

That's when she remembered that he didn't know everything was settled with the Dark Lord, yet. Stupid. It was all his eyes' fault, making her forget everything but him.

_Too beautiful. Brain can't function!_

Looking down at him, she ran her fingers through his hair again.

“I've talked to your father”, she started carefully.

As expected, Jaime's body tensed up.

“What?”

“The meeting just ended, in fact.”

“What?!”

His fingers dug into her back. Brienne soothingly stroked his cheek.

“Tyrion told me about that dinner.”

Jaime's eyes flared with anger. “He had no right to tell you.”

“I agree”, she ran her tip of her index finger across his brow. How could a brow be perfect?! “You should have told me.”

Jaime shook his head, his arms pulling her closer, his hands slipping beneath her blazer to stroke her back. Brienne shivered from their warmth, the cotton of the shirt not doing much to shield her skin – which was absolutely fine.

“I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get involved. I wanted to keep you as far away from the Lannister madness as possible. My family...this sick world I grew up in...I don't want you to know it. I will deal with this. I made it clear to Father that should he dare to go near you I'll -” he stopped himself.

The green of his eyes was burning like wildfire, his jaw was tense and twitching. Brienne saw it then, the determination, the willingness to do anything to protect the one he loved. A cold shiver ran down her spine, an uncomfortable contrast to the warmth of his hands. His touch was gentle, caring, loving, but his words were dangerous and dark.

Her heart ached for him. What must it feel like to be unable to trust your own family? What had his father done to make his son so afraid of him? So ready for violence?

“I don't want you near him”, he whispered, his voice dead serious.

Brienne's heart clenched, feeling like she had broken an unspoken rule.

“It's too late for that, I'm afraid.” Gently, she wove her fingers through his hair, meeting in the back of his head to play with the strands. “I don't know what happened between you, or what he has done to Tyrion's wife. But I know that in spite of all that, you love your father. You wouldn't have stayed if you didn't. Family is precious, Jaime. We both know that. And I don't want to be the reason for you cutting him out of your life. So I met with him and we had an honest conversation.”

“You can't be honest with my father. He'll use anything against you”, Jaime protested, looking up at her, frowning in disapproval.

Brienne rolled her eyes. “Someone had to take the first step. I want us all to get along. I want your father in your life. He won't be around forever, Jaime, and I don't want you to regret making that choice once he's gone for good.”

Again, Jaime wanted to argue, but Brienne silenced him with a shake of her head.

“We talked...and we made a deal.”

Jaime frowned, but listened patiently while Brienne explained the terms of the agreement to him.

“He did not agree to me becoming a Tarth!”

“I was surprised myself. But if anything, your father understands the importance of family and legacy and that we need to continue the family name.”

Jaime blinked, processing, then he shook his head, let out a breath and rested his forehead against her belly. Brienne stroked his hair, watched her fingers move out of that full mane and down his long neck, the tips of her fingers sliding beneath his white collar, stroking the warm, soft skin it was hiding. Her front was tingling, the sensation making her heart skip a beat.

“I don't trust this agreement”, Jaime sighed. When Brienne curled her strong fingers around his neck to massage it, he let out a hum. She could feel goosebumps spreading on his soft skin.

“At least give him a chance to prove you wrong. If he tries anything to come between us, we can still run away to the Summer Isles.”

Jaime chuckled and snuggled against her. “And you'll wear nothing but _very_ short shorts.”

“Only if you do the same”, Brienne countered, her cheeks filling with heat.

“We have a deal, wench.” He looked up at her, smirking. It made her knees go weak. Thank goodness she was already sitting. Stupid handsome Lannister.

They were simply holding each other now, gazing, taking the other in. It took a while before they had their fill.

  
“I can't believe you've been here for over ten minutes and I haven't kissed you yet, wench", Jaime suddenly purred.

Brienne's heart started pounding from one second to the other. It quite stole her breath away.

“I am disappointed”, she agreed, trying to go for a casual tone but could hardly hear her own voice over her drumming heartbeat, “maybe you did oversell your prowess, after all.”

Again, that knee-weakening smirk. Damn this man!

“You could simply ask me to kiss you”, he suggested in that voice that never failed to make her body tremble with desire.

“We both know that that will never happen.” Her lips were tingling, her eyes drifted down to his beautiful mouth.

“Yes, because you're a stubborn, stubborn wench. Cold on the surface...”, slowly he rose from his chair, the leather creaking. His gaze was nothing but seductive as he kicked the chair back before he stepped between her legs. Now a bit taller than her he looked down, his eyes roaming her freckled face, lingering on her lips only to meet her gaze again, “...pure, delicious heat right underneath, waiting, longing for someone to break the ice...”

“That was the corniest thing you've ever said”, she whispered, her heart hammering, her thoughts slowing. Every cell in her body focused on the gorgeous man between her legs, strong, calm, sexy as hell. Again he smirked at her. His hands came up, ever so tenderly framing her face. Brienne's eyelids fluttered as his thumbs began stroking her cheeks.

“I'm a poet trapped in a CFO.”

Maiden, that knowing smile. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. To the seven hells with him!

...No, no, she didn't mean that.

“You're an idiot trapped in a cocky bastard.”

“Can you please stop ruining this moment, wench?” he scolded her with a smile, “I've waited eight hellish long months to have you in my arms. I had many dreams of our first kiss. In none of them did you insult me as a built-up.”

“Then you clearly don't know me as well as you thought you did.”

He chuckled and scrunched his nose. “You're so fucking unromantic, wench...I love you.”

His aftershave was making her dizzy. So did his warmth, his hands on her face, caressing her so wonderfully. He was so very beautiful.

“I haven't kissed in so long...”, she breathed, insecurity suddenly rising its ugly head.

Jaime leaned closer, closer still. His hair tickled her forehead. The tip of his nose bumped against hers. Her eyes fell close and her lips parted. The warmth radiating from his skin, his scent...seven hells...

Searching for strength, her arms came around him, pulling him closer until their chests were pressed together.

“Jaime”, she whispered desperately, needing him so much.

“I'm here, my love”, he whispered back, their foreheads touching. “I'll always be here.”

Yes. He would. Always.

He loved her. He was hers.

“I love you. I love you so much.” To say it to his face and not feel scared was so wonderful. “I'll never let you go. You're mine, Jaime. Mine.”

“Brienne.” With this longing whisper, after eight months of getting to know each other, falling in love and yearning for the other, Jaime finally kissed her.

  
Fireworks.

  
From the very first press of his lips, Brienne was flying in the seven heavens. The taste of him, gods his taste. Not the rarest, sweetest fruit could compare to it. Instantly, she became addicted.

A violent shiver rolled through her from head to toe and her long arms trapped him in a tight embrace. She would never let him get away.

It was her who parted her lips and let her tongue sneak into his mouth first, greeting his with a shy but loving stroke. Eagerly it greeted her back and within a second their tongues were curled around each other, tasting curiously.

With a purr into her mouth Jaime put his arms around her and pressed her chest against his until she could hardly breathe. But who needed oxygen if Jaime Lannister could be kissed, instead?

  
Home.

  
That's what his kiss felt like. It was coming home after a long, exhausting journey.

Their mouths were melted together as their tongues caressed, teased and played with each other. Every swipe of his delicious tongue sparked another fire inside her and soon it felt like she was burning all over.

So long had she waited to be in his arms, to feel him everywhere. With this thought forming in her dazed mind, her long legs came around him, crossing behind his back, pressing his lower half against her.

Both of them moaned when their very hot, very aroused crotches touched. Jaime sucked on her bottom lip, pressing his erection against her, and placed a hand in her lower back as he gently bent her backwards so he could tease her with rolling hips, driving her mad with want.

Blindly Brienne supported herself, her hand half on the desk, half on the keyboard, pressing buttons that had the operating system complain with beeps, not understanding the command.

_The command is to shut the f up_ , she thought angrily and shoved the keyboard away, wrapping her arm around Jaime's neck to pull him closer. Closer, always closer. He pushed her down, down.

_Yes. Oh, Jaime. My Jaime..._  
  
A horrible crash and crack disrupted the sensual silence in the office, jerking her clouded mind awake.

The monitor.

“Jaime”, she panted, her lips wet and warm and swollen.

“I'll buy a new one. Kiss me.”

She did, gods, she did. And she let him lay her down on his desk, welcomed him with open arms as he crawled on top of her, the sturdy desk complaining with a groan.

Jaime hummed into her mouth as he pressed his groin against hers. Brienne sucked at his bottom lip and on the tip of his tongue.

“Gods, Brie”, Jaime panted, nuzzling his face against hers. “I knew you'd kiss like that. Every night in my dreams you've kissed me like that.”

He kissed her hard, spearing his tongue into her mouth, stroking hers in the most pleasurable way possible.

“Tell me to stop”, he whispered next, bending down to suck the skin of her neck into his mouth. Brienne moaned and turned her head to grant him better access. “I'm not strong enough to stop on my own. I don't want to stop”, he admitted, nipping his way down her neck.

“I want you so much.” He was over her again, his green eyes burning. Brienne pulled him down for another kiss, one hand grabbing his hair while the other ran down his back to that perfect globe of an ass cheek, squeezing hard. Jaime moaned and pushed his erection against her.

Once again Jaime's lips left hers to kiss their way down her throat. Suddenly his hand was cupping her breast, squeezing. Arousal and need exploded inside her head and she arched against him, wanting more, wanting all. When his fingers began unbuttoning his former shirt, there was no thought of stopping him, her mind too focused on the sensation of his lips and tongue on every bit of skin they could reach.

It was wonderful, so wonderful.

Finally. Gods, finally.

As soon as Jaime had exposed her simple white bra he bit into the small mound of her breast with a lion's growl, sending a jolt of electricity between her legs. He did the same to the other and Brienne couldn't help but giggle, happily playing with the strands of his hair. Jaime returned to her, smiling, crunching his nose at her.

The most beautiful man in the world. Maiden help her.

She was about to pull him down for another hungry kiss when a flash of light momentarily blinded her left eye. Automatically, her eyes darted to the window, up to the source of it.

 

Her office.

Binoculars.

The entirety of her employees staring down at her.

The Frivolous Four in the front row.

Oberyn next to them.

  
  
“Fuck!” Brienne gasped, instantly reaching for her blazer and pulling it over her exposed chest.

“What?” Jaime croaked, breathing heavily, eyes half-closed, and followed her shocked stare. “Seven hells”, he cursed, instantly shielding her from view. He stood up and pulled her with him, taking her in his arms.

“What the seven hells is wrong with these people?! Is that Pia?!”

Brienne checked.

Yup, it was.

Waving at them.

When Jaime gave her and the rest of them the finger, they all cheered and jumped and waved.

“Seven hells”, Brienne cursed, hiding her face in the crook of Jaime's neck for a second, then she angrily leaned over and pressed speed dial 1 on Jaime's phone. She saw Pod unclip his company cell from his belt, but Margaery snatched it out of his hand and answered the call.

“You're all fired!” Brienne yelled.

Deafening jubilation was her answer. Apparently, she was on speaker.

Jaime chuckled, pulling her into a loving embrace, kissing her temple.

“All right, you had your fun! Now, fuck off!” Jaime ordered, glaring up at them. “Especially you, Martell”, he added after his eyes had found him. The prince of fucking Dorne Martell just waved and blew them a kiss.

“Podrick, get them out of Brie's office and lock the door”, he tried anew. There was laughter and one helpless looking assistant. Pia stroked his arm and kissed his cheek.

“And what the hell are you doing there, Pia?! You're supposed to be working. In _this_ tower.”

Pia grabbed the cell from Margaery. “Is the man who was about to ravish his girlfriend on his desk seriously lecturing me about work ethics?”

Brienne chortled against Jaime's neck. “She has a point”, she murmured and kissed a very soft patch of skin.

“Whose side are you on?” Jaime complained, pulling her closer, tilting his head a little. Brienne smiled thankfully against his skin and kissed him again.

“I've never been into straight porn before but this is hot as fuck! Do her, Jaime! Do her good!” they heard Loras squeal excitedly.

“Seven hells”, Brienne groaned, the patch of skin she had been sucking on slipping out of her mouth.

“You do realize your employees are insane.”

“Yeah”, Brienne sighed.

“Alright, alright!” Maergary called the cheering crowd to reason. “We will leave you alone, **IF -** ” she shouted as complaints and protests rose, “you give us one more kiss. You aren't the only ones who have been waiting for this to happen! This insane love story and the sexual tension between you two have been killing us! We deserve resolve! We deserve some action!”

“What the hell is wrong with that woman?” Jaime mumbled, stroking Brienne's hair. Even though they were completely embarrassed, neither he nor Brienne could stop caressing the other.

“I've asked myself that for years”, Brienne answered and came out of her hiding place to smile at him.

“I heard that”, Marge spat, which only made their smiles wider.

Jaime framed her face with his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs.

“Let's get it over with, wench, so we can go home and have a quiet evening.”

Brienne nodded, still smiling, the happiness outshining the embarrassment by a mile.

With a gentle smile Jaime leaned forward to kiss her once more.

Squeals and shouts from the other end of the line. Brienne giggled into his mouth. Jaime nipped at her lip and pushed his tongue into hers.

  
It's safe to say that Brienne and Jaime gave the staff of _Tarth Digital, LLC_ a decent show – and whoever else was looking into this office from the other tower right now.  
  


By the time they broke apart, they were firmly intertwined again, feeling the heartbeat in the other chest as strongly as their own.

Jaime cleared his throat, his eyes alight with love and desire, and pecked her lips once more before he turned to the window.

“There you go. Now get lost and don't you dare call Miss Tarth before Monday. Pia, get your ass over here and move my appointments to next week. I'm out of the office for the rest of the week.”

With that he hung up.

The Frivolous Four and Pia high-fived each other as the men and women filed out of their boss' office.

Jaime shook his head at them before he returned his attention to his girlfriend.

“Let's get out of here, sweetling.”

Brienne drank him in. Unexpected tears filled her eyes.

“Yes”, she whispered, so utterly, completely at peace with herself and the world as she'd never been in her life, “let's go home, Jaime.”

Jaime gulped, nodded and smiled, pulling her in for a tender, slow kiss.

“Home”, he whispered against her lips.  
  


They were home.

  
After all the pain and heartbreak in their lives, they had finally found their way home.

 

 

THE END

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the spirit of the romantic comedy genre, I cut before the smut. Hope that's okay.  
> I had a more dramatic ending written, you know like they always do in the movies, with breaking up and stuff like that (maybe I post it as an "outtake" or something, if anyone's interested in reading it). But tbh, I am really tired of scenes like that and wanted to go a different direction. Instead of a big dramatic bang, I wanted to make this grand finale beautiful in its simplicity, gentle and loving, with a spice of humor. Did I manage? 
> 
> There are still many scenes for this particular scenario in my head, so I plan on a second part "After the credits" with some firsts for Jaime and Brienne. I am currently writing it. And yes, there will be smut *wiggles eyebrows*. It might take a while before I upload, though. So stay tuned. :D
> 
> One last time thank you for coming on this journey with me. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. <3


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